DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Or course not!

How are you feeling now @rubberduck68?

Never mind @CleanShirt xxx

Pub Man has resurrected! Said he wrote a reply and forgot to send it. Do I believe him? He's been very apologetic.

Erm no. I would not believe that and I’d feel offended he’d think I might

I'm with @TheThingOnTheIce

I was pretty offended by most of the lies MrX told me in that he thought I would buy them.

This was one of them.

Agree with the others that it sounds pretty lame…

Supposed to be meeting Mr Chatty this weekend but now we’ve talked a bit more I’m not sure about him. Nothing in particular I can put my finger on but I’m feeling less enthused for the date. Not sure whether to go along even if just for 1 drink to test the waters or just cancel. Thoughts?

Whenever I have felt like this I've always regretted meeting. I would cancel.

Trust your instincts x

I have certainly done that before myself. And with some of my closest friends so it's believable to me. But doesn't mean he is telling the truth. Do you like him enough to see if he redeems himself? That's probably a more important question.

@CleanShirt I do this! I frequently draft a message in my head when I can't reply immediately (eg when I'm driving) and by the time I get an opportunity to respond I've mentally sent it and don't actually send it. He could be genuine, or he could have been distracted by another option that didn't work out. How long was he MIA?

It’s definitely feasible to do this but if you thought you’d sent a message to someone you liked and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you check your sent messages, etc before now? I can’t remember how long ago it was but if over a week I’d have thought they should have realised sooner if keen.

If you like him you could give him a second chance but proceed with caution?

Agree with this. If I met someone I liked and thought I’d messaged them I’d be checking for a response and notice very quickly I hadn’t sent it.

My cynical self would think I was a back up plan

I let Mr. Poet stay over at my place this week. It was surprisingly nice and I think I am getting a little emotionally closer to him. Which is lovely. So fingers crossed.
We are having a bit of a break for the next couple of weeks as he is away with work but we have something nice in the diary for a weekend of him coming back. He also wants me to meet some of his friends at the end of the month which seems really rushed... will have to think about this. (I mean, it's rushed in my head as we will have dated for two months at that point!).

This sounds like it has potential x

Updates all round...

Decided to message Pub Man back who was full of apologies and give him another chance. Insisted he wanted to take me out Friday and I accepted. He's just cancelled 🫠

Mr Ireland, the wholesome fella who wouldn't say boo to a goose, had also cancelled 🫠🫠

I think I'm going to give up. This is doing my brain in.

Sorry to hear it @CleanShirt. It’s bloody demoralising.

I cancelled the date with Mr Chatty as just not feeling it but I do have a date pencilled in with Mr Sunshine this weekend. I’ve actually paused my apps as the one upcoming date aside I feel l need a break from it all.

This is what I did with Mr Soughdough, even after my brother's words, I just could not get my head around the amazing connection, so I sent him a very friendly hello at the weekend, how are you? He replied really fast, chatting away and locked in another date that day for Monday. I went and it was brilliant, and he asked me out there and then for this weekend. I was observing him like crazy, and I think he might be quite shy. I wonder if he must have been waiting for me to start a new conversation after the weekend text, but nothing seems to have changed and as we are early 5 days, awaiting 6 I am not going to sweat it. If he wanders off again, that's him done.

11.30 pm is not okay. I love that behaviour is a language - noting that closely with my recent experience.

It's better than them never introducing them to your friends, I think it's a sign that he really likes you

Love this! It sounds promising but the best thing is you're not stressing about it and know that whatever happens you gave it a chance. I sometimes think men can operate on slightly different timescales than women too, despite all the conventional wisdom saying "if he wanted to he would" etc.

Some good things and some very poor ones - that’s just men and OLD I guess.

Mr Sunshine sounds the best iron - the name anyway, so best of luck with that.

The drop out irons are just leaving space for a better one.

My one date - doesn’t need a name - did an 11pm Saturday text although he apparently doesn’t drink, a Sunday night deleted text, except I saw it come in and now a random penguin video - I’ve just ignored but feel a bit rude, but equally think any response I may send would sound a bit rude - or be pointless - still debating.

I was having a nice chat with someone but his latest updated photos aren’t my type by quite a stretch - I think I need to delete my profile as I’m turning into these guys I moan about!

I agree. A very old friend sat me down and said that because I had been love bombed so much in previous relationships, I wasn't used to the slow and steady guys and that a few days between texts is not abnormal for an emotionally regulated person. Turns out I think she was right. Well, we will see! For me, I have not had a connection with anyone like this in years, so I wasn't going down without trying.

You had me at random penguin video!!

I will say re. Mr Soughdough, if it goes long term, he can never meet my brother 😬