Can there be friendship between a man and a woman?

[Pciuc]

I am a woman and my other half has a friend (single woman) who he has introduced me to at the beginning of our relationship. He has been very open and assured me that nothing ever happened and there would never be anything there as they are not attracted to each other.
I do not have male friends and never encoutered something like this in past relationships.
I do not want him to stop seeing her, I trust him but I do not want to be around, I want him to continue the friendship but far from my sight( avoident I know, but just because I am fearful of misreading something or getting hurt).
What does everyone things? Can there be a friendship between a man and a woman?
How can I explain to him the fact that I do not mind him seeing her but I do not want to be there without sounding crazy?

Male too.

Most of my friends are female including the one I am closest too and trust the most

We've been friends for 30 years - I've been with my OH for 15. Once we started going out it was natural (to me anyway) for them to meet so the four of us (friend has a lovely partner) had lunch. Friend and OH get on well. I mostly see friend on her own but we all go out for meals on occasions. They have each other's phone numbers and text at birthdays, Xmas etc

I'd have found it odd if my partner had not wanted to meet someone so important in my life

I do not want to because I am not intrested because I have my DH. So I do not see any other man that way.

I would not, I know me but I do not know her. So I guess I should get to know her.

Sounds like your ex has conditioned you to believe that men and women can't be friends and that finding any other man attractive would be a betrayal.

Neither is true IMO. You have a golden opportunity to find out for yourself first hand. Why aren't you grasping it?

I guess fear of getting hurt. Hence the avoidance.
But it is true my ex did condition me

Okay but if you sit at home believing that if you were there, you would be hurt... how do you avoid that being what ends up hurting you?

Don't let your ex continue to have this hold over you. Let your other half teach you a new outlook.

I have been and remain close friends with many men and I really find it strange that you don’t have platonic male friendships. At one point in my life I had far more close male friends than female

DH would never stop me spending time with them or insist that he come along too.

edut this is just to reassure you that it’s very ordinary

Of course there can be. I'm going out for lunch this week with a male friend. He's also friends with my husband, but he was my friend first. It's entirely platonic, we are both in relationships and our children know each other. We are just old workmates who car shared for years and get along well.

An old boyfriend's best friend was female, again entirely platonic and I got along really well with her as well.

In my opinion a man having female close friend probably speaks to them being a decent human being who doesn't just see women as objects. It's a big green flag for me.

I’ve had some male friends for decades. Strictly platonic, nothing more. 👍

100% yes
but the general MN consensus is a hard no

Of course men and women can be friends without any sexual attraction or involvement. Three of the closest friends I ever had were men, and there was no physical or sexual attraction between me or any of them - we just thought the same about so many things and enjoyed each other's company. There was never any suspicion from their partners or from my husband about our friendships.

You’ve been conditioned by your ex to see opposite sex relationships as bad and suspicious and thrown your own internalised misogyny in for good measure.

You trust your OH but the wanton she devil might make a move on your wide eyed beloved because she might suddenly, despite however many years of friendship, throw herself at him because he’s suddenly irresistible. Meanwhile nun like you has gone blind to every man in the world now you are attached.
Should your partner be concerned that your entire worldview stems from the influence of another man even now?

Do you see how ridiculous you can start to sound once you follow that controlling, suspicious narrative @Pciuc ?

I have several long standing male friendships and I can promise you not once have I ever decided that I must throw myself at them because they’ve met partners, gotten married or had kids and suddenly become forbidden fruit. In fact I would sooner walk backwards, naked into rush hour traffic than be in a romantic relationship with a single one of them. There have been plenty of times I was single at the same time as them and that changed nothing because we see each other in the same way we see friends of the same sex.

Only if one or both of them is gay. Ive had platonic friendships with men, many in the past and its always horrible when they suddenly mistake my friendliness for something else. I find it so disappointing when all I wanted was a friend.
They just cant help themselves.

My exh and I met at uni - I became good friends with one of his friends- even after exh and I split we stayed in touch and met for coffee / meals every so often. We’ve been friends for 40 yrs now - sadly his relationship ended too and he moved back to his country of origin to care for an elderly relative.

I miss being able to have our catch ups every few months - though we do phone and text - not quite the same as “I’m going to be in your town on Weds do you fancy a coffee?” Just a friendship, never anything more.

2 of my best friends are male so yes

Yes, I think they can - but it depends on the people involved.

I think it only works if there’s no sexual attraction on either side, though. And it’s important to be honest with all partners about when you’re seeing / communicating with them.

My “rule” with opposite sex friendships is to never tell or receive confidences that their partner shouldn’t know about.

I have been friends with my brother in law since before I started going out with his brother. We met through a mutual hobby and just clicked but it a friends way.

He encouraged his brother to ask me out and a year later he was dating my best friend.

We are all still married and still the very best of friends.

Over the years I've had other male friends, not sure I can count my gay best friends. But it's perfectly possible to be friends as long as neither fancies the other.

Ive had several male (hetro) friends over the years which had no element of sex or romance. They were intellectual friendships between two people who enjoyed visiting art galleries, museums and the like and discussing things of mutual interest. All the men involved were, like me, graduates who probably missed having someone of their own intellectual level to talk to. My best friend now is a (gay) man and we have long talks. When I was more mobile we also went to exhibitions and places of mutual interest. Obviously there is no element of sex because my friend has always been gay.

I have a fair number of platonic friendships with men since my school days. In one case I backed away and made sure I only met him with other people as I thought he was trying to make a pass at me, and another we tried dating but it just didn't feel right and we were better as friends. I have a couple of married male friends I've known for decades and am also friends with their wives. I find it really strange when people have no friendships with the opposite sex. I'm long term single and there have been times when they have been too, but never wanted anything to happen and the feeling was mutual.

Very rarely

I’ve had many friends who were men.
At some point, every single one of them made it clear they wanted to have sex with me.
Every single time I was devastated. Now I don’t have close male friends.

I have loads of male friends, some close, some less so. If I had wanted to shag one of them, I'd have approached them years ago! When they were single.

Definitely, my best friend is a man we have known each other since we were born. Both of us happily married and not in the remotely interested in each other romantically.

Yes men and women can be friends. Both my son and daughter have close friends of the opposite sex from school. And I gadbsom know close male friends from work

My close friends are mostly lesbians or bisexual women or men. And my husband has no problem with me spending time with any of them, and quite rightly so. And he tends more towards friendships with men, but has several good women friends including the ones who introduced us. I actually find it concerning when a man doesn't think men and women can be friends as this suggests that he sees women as sex objects rather than actual human beings with personalities.