Can there be friendship between a man and a woman?

[Pciuc]

I am a woman and my other half has a friend (single woman) who he has introduced me to at the beginning of our relationship. He has been very open and assured me that nothing ever happened and there would never be anything there as they are not attracted to each other.
I do not have male friends and never encoutered something like this in past relationships.
I do not want him to stop seeing her, I trust him but I do not want to be around, I want him to continue the friendship but far from my sight( avoident I know, but just because I am fearful of misreading something or getting hurt).
What does everyone things? Can there be a friendship between a man and a woman?
How can I explain to him the fact that I do not mind him seeing her but I do not want to be there without sounding crazy?

In short: absolutely. Those who can't see the possibility of male-female friendships either have a very simplistic, extreme way of looking at things, or have been burned before, or both...
If there is trust between you and he hasn't done anything to make you feel worried, it is not different from having a guy friend.

Here is an example - I am almost 40, been with my wife since we were at university, and one of my best friends is a woman, I have known her longer than my wife. We can talk about anything, she's been to our wedding, we've been to hers, nowadays we exchange messages regarding baby stuff, as she just recently had a baby girl, and I already have experience being a parent, etc.. And that is just one of my best friends, but I am good friends with several women, some of my wife's friends included. It is simple really..

One of my best friends is a man. My very best friend is a woman I used to sleep with. My husband doesn't care at all about either, nor do I care about his friends who happen to be women. Because we trust each other.

My oldest and closest friend is male, he was asked by our playschool teacher to hold my hand (I was whinging on my first day😂) and to show me where all the toys were as he had already been there a couple of weeks and was well settled.
I was 3 and he was 4😍
When I met DH he was living abroad at the time, he knew all about him and never seemed bothered by our friendship but I was still worried about them meeting when my friend came back home and had told DH that I really hoped they got on as he was very important to me but that if they didn't, that was fine, but he would always be a huge part of my life.
Thankfully they get on great and he and his wife actually now work for us in one of our businesses - so I get to see him loads!!!

I would have been really upset if he refused to meet and get to know him when he knows how much he means to me.

His friendship predates his relationship with you, so if either of them had wanted to take their friendship further, they had the chance to.

I have close male friends who I go out with for walks, to the cinema, and to the pub. I have no desire toward any of them romantically or sexually, but I enjoy their company in the same way I enjoy my female friends’ company.

DH is brilliant and knows they’re simply friends!

I would say that it depends on how much of his time is taken up with her. Eg do they text regularly in the times you are together? How much does it interfere with your relationship?

Yes, there can be entirely platonic friendships but the female needs to be damn sure that it really is - frankly some men that you think you can trust not to make a move, well, it turns out you can't.

At this point of my life Im also going to say that cultural expectations can have a role.

But yes, some male-female friendships really can be platonic and close. With the provisos above, I'd say that anyone who thinks that they can't has issues (sometimes understandably)

Yes - I’ve been friends with a male for 45 years. We went to each others’ weddings, text most weeks and see each other regularly. I really like his perspective and he makes me laugh a lot.

I have a couple of male friends I've known forever, and I'm happily married. Its definitely possible and healthy to have male friends as well as female friends. I think you should do the opposite of your post and get to know her, you'll maybe make a new friend too and you'll know then much more clearly if she does seem after him or like she fancies him

Absolutely. One of my best friends is male and there is definitely nothing there sexually. My DH has known and worked with him for years

Unfortunately, your ex trained you away from friendships with men.

I have some very dear male friends as well as some very dear female friends. It’s perfectly possible. In a couple of cases, the men are friends from much younger days where there may once have been a bit of romantic yearning on one side or other but it’s ancient history and not a factor at all in the friendships now which are just very comfortable.

Think about it - would you say gay people could only have friends of the opposite sex? And what about people who are bisexual? Would you say they can’t be friends with anyone?

My best and oldest friend is a woman. We've been friends since we were toddlers.
There have been plenty of times when we were younger when we have both been single but there was never a question of anything as to us that would be wierd. 20 plus years ago she introduced me to my wife while we were out for her new boyfriends birthday. They married not long after and we are still all closer than our actual families. Her husband is one of my best friends and I was his groomsman at their wedding. She is my wifes best friend and they message dozens of times a day. We all go on at least one holiday together each year and many nights or days out.
She is who I call when I need a friend. Within seconds of seeing each other we can always tell if something is wrong even if our spouses haven't noticed it.
And we are never ever allowed to be on the same team on board game nights as we just take the piss and laugh a lot.
Now our two kids who coincidentally were born on the same day are best friends. My son and her daughter. They say they can be their weirdest self's with each other and just be comfortable. Its like history repeating itself.

Of course you can I have a few male friends that I go out with. Met them through orchestra, husband has met them. All in relationships.

Yes. I have a thirty plus year friendship with a man, and never a hint of anything more between us. At various times we have been single at the same time ( and we’re single when we met). We are just friends.

I’ve always had both make and female friends and so has H.

She is who I call when I need a friend? Is your wife not your friend then?

Yes, but flirting is not part of any friendship as such. That is something else.

Would you have pounced on and quoted this sentence out of context with such animosity if the go-to friend in question had been a man?

Yes.

You know, people’s marriages are way stronger when they have close friends for emotional support, to confide in etc. It’s deeply unhealthy to be entirely dependent on a single person for everything.

Nope. There's always an attraction somewhere in among it, no matter how hard they protest. They like spending time together. They like each other......

Yes I'm quite capable of being friends with someone without wanting to jump into bed with them. I've found men seem capable to do the same. But maybe that is one of perks of being a plain jane type, and if I was more the lots of make up and high heals type it was different.

Would love it if people stopped stating their own opinion as facts. I - and many others who have real friendships from the opposite sex will thank you if you don't pretend to know better how we feel about people than we do.
If you are unable to be friends with someone from the other sex without wanting to mate with them, that is a you problem, the rest of us are able to see people for than more than walking genitals, thank you.

It's a bit said that so many women on here seem to see a penis as a complete red line on friendship.

Your self esteem seems pretty low. He chose you didn’t he?

Well said. Too many speculations, impressions and opinions are treated as facts these days.

It came with years of heartbreaking experience for me. I did try to have straight male friends. I assure you.