Can there be friendship between a man and a woman?

[Pciuc]

I am a woman and my other half has a friend (single woman) who he has introduced me to at the beginning of our relationship. He has been very open and assured me that nothing ever happened and there would never be anything there as they are not attracted to each other.
I do not have male friends and never encoutered something like this in past relationships.
I do not want him to stop seeing her, I trust him but I do not want to be around, I want him to continue the friendship but far from my sight( avoident I know, but just because I am fearful of misreading something or getting hurt).
What does everyone things? Can there be a friendship between a man and a woman?
How can I explain to him the fact that I do not mind him seeing her but I do not want to be there without sounding crazy?

Strange then that you didn’t pick up on “She is my wifes best friend” and chastise the wife for seeking friendship outside of her marriage.

It's mildly tragic that you're only capable of seeing men as sex objects.

I am sorry that you were unlucky with this... But your series of negative experiences will not form a universal rule. Even if 50 men wanted more than friendship from you. Their actions have nothing to do with anyone else's.

Do you not have any need of a friend outside of your marriage?
My wife is everything to me. But there have been times when we have been having a rough patch that I've needed a friend other than my wife. Just the same as everyone I know. My wife included.
This is a ridiculous response.

It’s pretty universal to me but thanks for coming on to explain why I’m wrong for being continuously let down by men who I thought were my friends.

It’s funny, because there’s another thread on here where a woman is worried about how jaded her 19 year old daughter is in regards to her opinion of men. The majority of replies are supportive of the daughter. But here, we have women being insulted and patronised for choosing not to bother with extending their friendship to men based on their own experiences.

Thanks @exhaustDAD . You’ve just reinforced why I don’t bother.

You think you know better than me about being a woman on the receiving end of male entitlement because… you’re a man. 😂

In short: absolutely yes.
For some people.
For others, no, they can't handle it without attraction.
None of the male friends I've had have tried it on with me (so far, I'm 50).

To clarify are you saying that you discuss an issue in your marriage with this friend?

Ok so your bf is powerless to resist having passionate sex with any woman if she requested it and he had two lager shandies? That's a him problem. If it is a real problem that is. Which I doubt.

Do the many, many testimonies from women on this thread not give you pause for thought on what the common factor might be in your "universal to me"?

Good men are the minority and I’m not willing to waste my time trying to weed them out to be friends with them.

Furthermore, I haven’t once insinuated that no women should be friends with straight men. I’ve only my defended my right, and other women’s, to not.

Yes I have male and female friends. I’ve never had to reassure any partner about the relationship though - nor has any partner had to reassure me. Trust is fundamental in a relationship.

pretty ironic that you literally do what you seem to hate. Plus, giving words in my mouth that I never said, but other than that, great debate culture..

1. I only said your bad experiences do not set an univeral rule, i never said your experience is not valid. Correct me if I am wrong, you are not the whole world, and certainly not all the women in one person. I on the other hand just said
   that such friendships exist - without saying that it is the only type of an experience that is out there... if you dont see the difference, you shouldn't bother with such topics.

2. I reinforced why you dont bother - zero relevance to anything. Your original argument was that men and women cant be friends, and you not liking what i saidhas nothing to do with that,

Do I have the right to choose NOT be friends with straight men or not?

Without men correcting me. Without being chastised. Without being questioned. Without being insulted.

That’s what you’re arguing here.

And OP,
If this is something you’re not comfortable with, you are completely within your rights to stop the relationship. You do not have to change your boundaries. You just have to find someone who has similar ones.

Show me one person here who said you don't have the right, or OP or anyone? Jesus, not one person said anything like that... we only said that such friendships exist, but it is up to everyone to decide if they want to have such or not.
You went into the offensive, attacking someone who doesn't fight you. None of us here say that everyone needs to do this or that... but you on the other said that it is not possible because it didn't happen for you. that is objectively wrong and untrue, not a "man correcting woman" issue

It would depend on their background, how long they’ve known each other etc. Has she got a partner, children etc.

Like you, I would also be conflicted. I know as a female, I wouldn’t overstep boundaries with a male friend, BUT I just don’t trust human nature.

Call me cynical (I’m probably a lot older than you) and have witnessed things that would make your hair curl, and absolutely nothing surprises me.

Yes they can. My best friend is female and I’m so grateful for all the stuff we’ve done together.

Remember, she was there before you came along.

No, you don't have the right to come onto a public forum and share your opinion without people disagreeing with you.

It's striking, though, that of all the people disagreeing with you, you've fixated on the one you can identify to be a man, and ascribed the worst of motivations to him and only him.

I said I don’t have male friends because of my own experiences.

YOU commented on that post to say that this is not the universal experience, attributing words to me that I have never written.

I never stated all women should never be friends with any men. That’s something you have internalised by my single, individual choice.

I haven’t attacked or commented anyone on here to say anything negative about their choice to have male friends or questioning their choices. That was what you did.

If a woman stated that she chooses to not have male friends because she has only ever had bad experiences with them, she does not need a man piping up to politely reminder her condescendingly that its not “all men”.

I know a woman who, when she was 15, went to a party and got incredibly drunk. She was kissing a boy she really liked and he carried her to his room and raped her. She stumbled out, asked her best male friend to walk her home. When she told him what happened on the way, he fell silent. Seemingly devastated for her. Except that wasn’t what he was feeling because when they arrived at her empty house, he raped her. She was raped by two separate male friends on the same night. The story that went around school was obviously wildly different.

These are the women you’re trying to “correct”. Perhaps just accept that lots of women have had almost exclusively horrible experiences with men and as a result, have very little time for them.

Sorry, I do have that right. ✌🏼

You can choose to be friends with who like! There are no laws for discrimation when it comes to friendship. Can't you see that it is a pretty arrogant starting point through that you think all straight men when to sleep with you!

All the straight men I have been friends with have wanted to sleep with me.
They have made that clear.

It’s not arrogant to acknowledge that.

You can be friends with whoever you like of course you have that right. We all need filters to make sure are friends groups deliver what we need for each other. There are a lot of people in the world and we can't all be friends. I don't make friends with poor people for example because they tend to take from friendships and have shit conversation, some would say that is unreasonable but it is a filter that works for me, whether someone has a penis or not hasn't really ever been a factor. We all build our little circles with people are think similarly.

I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience with these odd men.