Can there be friendship between a man and a woman?

[Pciuc]

I am a woman and my other half has a friend (single woman) who he has introduced me to at the beginning of our relationship. He has been very open and assured me that nothing ever happened and there would never be anything there as they are not attracted to each other.
I do not have male friends and never encoutered something like this in past relationships.
I do not want him to stop seeing her, I trust him but I do not want to be around, I want him to continue the friendship but far from my sight( avoident I know, but just because I am fearful of misreading something or getting hurt).
What does everyone things? Can there be a friendship between a man and a woman?
How can I explain to him the fact that I do not mind him seeing her but I do not want to be there without sounding crazy?

LOL 😂. You are absolutely right..
The reason why I said that is that sometimes we want what is not accessible or what we cannot have.

There must be something that’s peaked your worry op? My ex was totally enmeshed and codependent with his friend. So my gut instinct was triggered at the start before he started dropping plans with me for her etc and a mountain of other things that happened . What’s actually got you worried?

That is of course possible, but again, think of all the men in your life that you’re not having sex with. Are you in fact desperate to have sex with them because you can’t have them? Or do you just not want to have sex with them?

I have several male friends of very long-standing and in the two cases I’m thinking of we’ve had plenty of opportunities (when both single!) and nothing has come of it, not a whiff of a kiss. If DH had had a problem I would have dumped him for being distrustful and insecure (I knew them both long before I met DH!). That doesn’t mean that there can’t be red flags over these relationships. But it’s not one size fits all.

This. I often think some people only judge based on their own moral compass so sadly op its not him you dont trust, it is yourself.

I just looked back over my phone, and with the exception of my daughter, and 2 females ALL my interactions (calls, texts, messages, WhatsApp) are all male, about 10 of them. Many of them I've been friends with for 40+ years! I'm out for lunch twice this week - both my companions happen to be male. And for my birthday week I'm out with male friends (& not hubby) 3 x that week and a possible breakfast also male friend (all these either have birthday same week and/or I've known them 40 years and it's a thing we've done since time immemorable), not yet made any arrangement with hubby as he's got work that week but left actual birthday eve clear.
So I suppose the answer is yes for me, I find the men more interesting to talk to than the women generally & got more in common.

Yes, it's possible. I'm male and my best friend is female. We've been friends since 16 and we're in our 40s now.

We had one kiss when we were 17 after a very very very drunken night out, egged on by another friend, but neither of us has ever felt any attraction for each other. We've been drunk in each others presence plenty of times since then, so I don't think it's a risk of happening again.

If I was your boyfriend @Pciuc I'd be seriously reconsidering the relationship with you based on your unwillingness to meet my friend. I've ended relationships before because my girlfriend had an issue with my best friend being the opposite sex. There's no way I'd jeopardise a lifelong friendship for a new girlfriend, I wouldn't see the point of being with someone who didn't trust me.

I have male friends of decades standing, I had boys as friends from junior school. DH has female friends he’s had since his teens. I have never had any romance with a male friend and ditto DH with his female friends. I don’t think it’s a problem at all.

Yes of course they can. Several of my closest friends are men, I’m not in the slightest bit attracted to them and nor are they to me. How do you think bisexual people manage? They don’t just remain friendless.

How long have they been friends for and how long have you been together?

Saying that you are ok with him being friends with her, but as long as you dont have to see them being friends together is weird, seriously weird, and unfair on him as he cant control the thoughts in your head.

Yes of course they can. I have male friends and DH has some close female friends too.

That’s not to say there aren’t also countless examples where male/ female friendships cross boundaries, or one person wants more, or lines get blurred.

I think you can generally tell which type it is. My ex had a ‘good friend’ that got my hackles up from the start and sure enough he cheated with her. There were always signs it was going to go that way honestly, no matter how I was gaslit and made to feel like to question it would just be irrational jealousy. Not least of the signs was that, looking back, my ex was a bit of a shit! My husband on the other hand is a different kind of man, and nothing about his friendships has ever given me cause for concern - also I’m included in them though. I don’t have to be there every time they meet up (which to be fair is usually in mixed groups where they’re all friends) but I do know them, have met them, chatted to them - got to know what kind of people they are. I can see they think the world of my husband as a mate but can also clearly see they’d no sooner shag him than jump off a cliff.

I also have to add about my ex and his ‘friend’ that I’d have been suspicious even if she had been a man, even more so actually. So ask yourself if this is JUST because she’s a woman or if there’s something else worrying you about their friendship . If not then it’s a you issue

Can there be a friendship between a man and a woman?

Of course there can, ffs, we're not two separate species.

I think they probably can, I just personally don’t have much in common with straight men. I have tried to make friends with them over the years but I’ve never had much success. Historically all the friends I’ve had who were boys turned out to be gay. I wouldn’t pursue a friendship with a straight man because whenever I have in the past they’ve tried to sleep with me and then when I turned them down suddenly we’re not friends. I’m just tired of it now and I have enough friends.

I don’t care if DH has women friends, his inner circle of friends are all men but he still has friends who are women. He doesn’t really hang out with them one on one though and they’re mostly mutual friends now, but that’s because they’ve become my friends over time.

@feelingsarentfactswelllll in my case… she was more like you described and way older , whilst I have no solid proof I was finding used BDSM stuff in his room and her ‘pet name’ for him was apparently a common name for a ‘sub’ in dom and sub dynamics. So make of that what you will as I unfortunately had to . Of course I would hope my situation is uncommon. Really hope.

Sometimes but when I became single 2 of the 4 close male friends I had declared feelings. One was at least single the other was married.

Thanks. My stupid fault for ignoring the flags . Lessons learned

My DH has a much younger female friend. Used to be her mentor years ago. I have met her and love her too. We are going to her wedding this year. However I think the thing that made me super cool about it was that she's bisexual and with a woman. I wonder how I'd have felt otherwise.

One of my closest friends is a man. Was at school with him. He's widowed now but also good friends with my DH. If anything happened to my DH I know he'd be there for me. Female friends would too but he's single so has more time.

Long term established friends are different to new friends. Particularly the 'fun' colleague at work. I'd be wary about that and wouldn't want anyone texting out of hours.

DH and I have a friend from school (they snogged once when 17) who came to stay, got drunk and when I popped to the loo told him he was a very sexy man (I caught this as was coming round the corner but she couldn't see me) and then proceeded to ask him about HIS sex life. Then informed him her husband hadn't been near her for years. She'd recently been to our wedding as well so it was shocking behaviour. But not for one second did I worry though am annoyed with her.

I'd say in your situation, if it was going to happen it would have. But also meet her and relax.

One of my best mates is a bloke who adores my husband because he makes me happy. We spent a long weekend with him in his home town and didn’t stop laughing

Two of my husband’s closest friends are women and they are lovely people

Erm... yes! It shouldn't matter what's down their trousers. I thought that this kind of, "You can't be friends with the opposite sex!" was something that people grew out of on leaving school.

I don't have many friends, I admit, but quite a chunk of them are men. Also, I'm the only woman in my department, so it would be quite hard to not be friends with people at work!

I am immensly sorry to hear! It must be terrible.😢

I think for me is the fact that I do not know how to emotionally navigate this situation as this is a first for me. My exes had male friends and it never happened that one of them would go out with a girl. I guess I am not sure how to cope with it internally.