Can there be friendship between a man and a woman?

[Pciuc]

I am a woman and my other half has a friend (single woman) who he has introduced me to at the beginning of our relationship. He has been very open and assured me that nothing ever happened and there would never be anything there as they are not attracted to each other.
I do not have male friends and never encoutered something like this in past relationships.
I do not want him to stop seeing her, I trust him but I do not want to be around, I want him to continue the friendship but far from my sight( avoident I know, but just because I am fearful of misreading something or getting hurt).
What does everyone things? Can there be a friendship between a man and a woman?
How can I explain to him the fact that I do not mind him seeing her but I do not want to be there without sounding crazy?

“My wife and her husband knows it is not possible for either of us to keep anything from the other”

You wouldn’t keep your wife’s confidence?

OP - you entered this relationship knowing about this woman, so I'm afraid the only thing you can really expect or do here is leave him if it's going to be a continued source of anxiety for you.

Personally, I sympathise with you not liking the situation. In my opinion, women find it easier to think of platonic way than the other way around. That's why I wouldn't necessarily listen to women who say 'Oh but I have platonic male friends!!'. For each one of those women, I've also heard of an almost equal number of women say they thought their male friendship was platonic (sometimes for years), only for the man to make a move or declare his feelings as soon as he thought he had a chance, such as after the breakup of his relationship, or the break up of hers.

I would also not find it reassuring if a man simply told me they didn't find someone attractive, because he's not going to say 'Well actually I find her attractive and I'd sleep with her given the chance', is he?! He knows that would be the end of your relationship!

Just because other people are ok with their partners having mixed sex friendships 9and all that can come with that, such as going on day-trips together, going to the cinema, going on short holidays together, late night chats), doesn't mean you have to be.

Like this one.

The problem with men having close female friends in particular is that is allows lines to get extremely blurry and makes it very difficult for their partner to detect or call out inappropriate behaviour.

Yes, one should be able to trust one's partner, but just how far should that be taken? Is a solo holiday with them ok? If yes, how about sharing the same room whilst on their on holiday? If not, then why? Because apparently you trust them.....right? So why the objection?

I think that a lot of passionate advocates for men's female friendships don't want to see things for how they actually are, but how they wish them to be. They want to continue their own friendships with men unquestioned (and therefore will champion this point of view when one that's opposite is presented), and they also don't want to think that actually, their husband/partner's female friendships are not as innocent as they thought.

One of my closest friends is male. There is no attraction or chemistry between us. Its more like a brother sister relationship. Known him over 12 years, nothing has ever happened.

On the other hand I made friends with a guy at work, chemistry was very intense and we had to make an effort to stay away from each other.

So i think its depends on attraction/chemistry and if you believe him when he tells you there is none.

Interesting - would like to know the answer to this too.

Thats very different. The context i was talking about was something that was causing a change in mood or mental health. If my wife asks me to keep something in secret then I will. Luckily she doesnt ask that. There are things I know my wife wouldnt want discussed so they are not.

Why “luckily”? Would you feel conflicted?

It wasn't something kept from my wife and while it was something myself and my wife talked about, it was an issue that she had caused and I needed a friend to talk to aside from my wife. I did so with her full knowledge. She also sat and talked it through with my wife too. As I said. It gave us the head space we needed to figure out what we both wanted and that lead to us happy together still today.

I can assure you that I have a perfectly clear-eyed view of my opposite-sex friendships. They're just like my female friendships in that they have ebbs and flows, strengths and weaknesses, some are close and some are less so, some were situational and didn't survive a move of job or country, but are still people I regard warmly.

I refuse to share a room or tent with any friend on holiday, male or female, because I sleepwalk, sleeptalk, rummage in drawers in my sleep, and am generally insufferable to be around during sleeping time, so that never comes up, but I've certainly gone on holiday with male friends, and for the odd weekend away, in the past. I have been going to the cinema with some of them for 20 or 30 years without snogging them in the back row, and have eaten out with them without it being 'date territory', as I once saw it termed on here. I'm happily married. DH has always had female friends.

I'm not a 'passionate advocate' for opposite-sex friendships in particular. I just think that, on a forum where so many people say they're lonely, women are cutting themselves off from half the human race as potential friends. I'd certainly be the poorer without mine.

No. I would not feel conflicted. I just mean apart from birthday surprises or such my wife hasn't ever said shhh please dont tell anyone.
Obviously I do not discuss things that happen in the bedroom but I wouldnt discuss that with anyone. My wife doesnt need to ask me to keep that private. There is a difference between something that is private and something that is secret.
I feel grateful to have an amazing wife and my oldest and best friend and that they too are extremely close.
My wifes closest male friend is my friends husband. And she has discussed our relationship with him too. Just as he has asked her advice in his marriage. Having that other point of view especially from someone of the opposite sex who you know will not force opinions on you or judge is extremely helpful.
More than once my friend has asked me what I think about something her husband has said or done before she misreads the situation. Ive asked the same questions. As has my wife and as has my friends husband.

I've also run gift ideas past her and I know my wife has done the same too.

We have keys for each other's houses and regularly let ourselves in. Our kids now have the same growing friendship where they are each other's safe space to be just themselves around. Our son and their daughter both born on the same day. I hope when they get to our age they are just as close.
My wife and I have 20 years together. My friend and I have 40 years of friendship. I can hand on heart say that without her I would not have my wife or my kids and my life would be much poorer for it I think.