Girl I’ve been seeing doesn’t want me to ‘pull the rug out’

[Monzo235]

I’ve been seeing a girl for 2 and a half months. She’s 36 I’m 29. Today she sent me these messages:

‘Trying to think of the best way to say this - but will just say there’s always the small part of my brain that’s afraid of the rug being pulled out from under me from someone I like’.

I said I think everyone feels that to some extent. And she replied: ‘But here’s where you also to some extent (even if it’s not truthful) tell me you’re not going to do this to me suddenly one day’.

thing is. I’ve told her multiple times now that next year I might want to move abroad. I’ve told her I want kids one day and I’m worried about timelines with our age difference. She’s told me to chill out and live in the grey for a while.

I said to her ‘That’s okay. I mean this is kinda why I’ve said the things I’ve said before. I don’t want you to feel blindsided. The last thing I want to do is hurt you’.

I’m really starting to feel a lot of pressure. If I want to break up with her at some point, I will. I don’t want to be told I can’t. And that feels like basically what she wants me to say?

Can anyone help with this?

I would end the relationship.

End the relationship. Like everyone said on your last thread.

Oh my fucking God, how many more threads are you going to start. You seriously need help

Sorry op, she wants you to say you don’t finish it, you’re asking what happens if you do- you’re both on totally different pages

She’s seeking guarantees, which is unrealistic.

If she wants biological DC, in light of your travel plans you’re wasting time she doesn’t have.

You sound as anxious as each other!

Maybe get her to start a series of threads too!

Read the advice you have been given on your other threads.

Good luck!

You're not compatible as partners for either a short term fling or a long term relationship. You've both got different priorities so it's best to quit now before it gets messy. You need to date people who fit with your lifestyle & values rather than just those who you fancy.

By the way you're dating a woman, not a girl.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5419045-i-dont-like-feeling-like-my-actions-effect-her?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

As PPs have said, read the advice you’ve been given on your multiple other threads. Also your level of anxiety about these matters is way above normal. You need therapy and perhaps also medication.

Dude needs therapy.

and the one before that
and the one before that
and the one before that
and the one before that
...

Unanimously, the advice is to just end it 🙄

is this is a social experiment ?

@Idontjetwashthefucker😂😂😂

Maybe you should marry her.

You keep posting over and over about pretty much the same thing OP. How many responses do you need before you man up and end a relationship you clearly do not want to be in?

Ah i thought it sounded very familiar. If this is real, end it and get proper help for yourself.

You know the answer to this because it's been posted ad infinitum on your other multiple threads. Why you're posting again expecting a different response to the same query is something you need to figure out.

Look for “I’m on” to find threads you’ve already started and continue on those.

I’m not surprised she’s feeling insecure. On your last thread you said she was immature, blasé about the future, suggested that her ‘go with the flow’ attitude is the reason “she’s still single at 36” and she shouldn’t be shocked that past partners have treated her poorly as a result. You’ve been banging on about her biological clock, wanting her to commit to a long term relationship and having children with you at some undefined point in the future (you’ve been dating for no more than ten weeks!?), while simultaneously talking about moving abroad and not wanting to be with her again afterwards. After repeatedly pestering her about having your children, you were also freaking out that she wanted to introduce you to her friends because that felt like “too much”.
You’ve said you think she’s weird for being in a relationship with you at all, you’ve been giving her “warning signs” which she hasn’t heeded, and you’re annoyed that she hasn’t ended the relationship because you don’t want to do that yourself.

It’s been 10 weeks. She’s not going to be heartbroken if you call it a day now. Just end it.

Multiple threads using multiple usernames for the same thing. No one is going to tell you anything other than end this relationship @Monzo235 no matter how much you spam.

Feel sorry for this woman.

Monzo235 - I can’t imagine the girl would be too impressed knowing that you copy her messages onto a public forum. With a bit of luck she will read your threads and tell you where to go.

People on MN are fed up reading about it so take the hint and stop!

You haven’t found your person. When you do, it won’t be about you, and what you want anymore. The only thing you’ll want is to move heaven and earth to be the kind of person that deserves her.

That’s not how you feel, and that’s ok. But you need to let her go now so she can find someone who feels like that about her, because neither of you can find your people while you’re each blocking the way.

Don’t clutter up your life with relationships that aren’t working.

She’s 36. She’s a woman. Not a ‘girl’.

What answer are you wanting people to give? If this is a real scenario and not just some bored kid living in fantasy land, put your phone down, stop creating thread after thread, and actually DO something about it!