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Original poster

Really Heartbroken Part 2

216 replies

YourBrickTiger · 26/09/2025 15:40

Someone suggested I post here, under a new title, so I hope it's not too repetitive but as always I value your support and help.

Hello, so I thought I'd post again, hope it's ok. There is a guy at work who is now showing me a lot of attention and he has told me that he knows it's making 'THE guy' jealous, but I'm not interested. But just an example of the behaviour that is condoned in here. And this one has me a bit shaken but I am so not interested in this guy in this way and have told him so. He is coming on really strong anytime he sees me alone and I just freeze. I am hopeless at dealing with this. He has my number as I legitmately thought he was a friend and now he is texting to say 'do you want a ride?'. I said in no uncertain terms 'no I don't, please stop that'. At work today, he comes up to me when we are alone and says 'I want to take you into the bathroom and bend you over the sink, I want to touch your boobs'. He then said 'when was the last time you had sex?' I just froze. I'm not in any way someone who has ever or will ever 'put it about', and I don't give out that impression to anyone. I've only ever slept with people I am in a relationship with. The last person I slept with was the man you all know about - and I deeply loved him. I don't even want to sleep with someone else while I'm going through what I am at the minute (those of you who know my story know what I mean). He even said he had an erection and showed me through his trousers. Luckily other members of the team arrived, but what am I doing wrong that this is now happening? I haven't given him any romantic interest, and don't discuss my love life/ex boyfriends or anything. He does know I was involved with 'the other guy' but I've made it clear that that was because I loved him.

OP posts:
Omgblueskys · 26/09/2025 15:49

Op you need to report him, its sexual harassment,

Tell him your reporting him see if it stops and bloody block him on your fone,

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 26/09/2025 16:00

Omgblueskys · 26/09/2025 15:49

Op you need to report him, its sexual harassment,

Tell him your reporting him see if it stops and bloody block him on your fone,

OK. I just don't know what it is about me. He was even so harsh he said 'it would just be sex I'm making that clear'. Like again, I'm not good enough to have a relationship with. (Not that I want a relationship with him).😰

OP posts:
Omgblueskys · 26/09/2025 16:07

Spot focusing on why he is so disrespectful op, if its not you sure be someone else in the office,

So report him to management, its sexual harassment end of, its you now, be someone else next week,
The pricks looking for a shag while in work,

Thatweegirl · 26/09/2025 16:16

With the greatest respect OP this is 2025, you know this is sexual harassment in the workplace and you know it is not acceptable. The why he is doing it doesn't matter.

You know you should report it so please do. It is not your fault, this is because he is a creep and a predator.

If a man in work said anything like that to me I would be in HR before he had finished his sentence

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 26/09/2025 16:27

Thatweegirl · 26/09/2025 16:16

With the greatest respect OP this is 2025, you know this is sexual harassment in the workplace and you know it is not acceptable. The why he is doing it doesn't matter.

You know you should report it so please do. It is not your fault, this is because he is a creep and a predator.

If a man in work said anything like that to me I would be in HR before he had finished his sentence

I'm afraid. As per my previous post nothing is ever done.

OP posts:
AncoraAmarena · 26/09/2025 20:24

It's odd @YourBrickTiger , I've seen your replies on a few different threads this week and you come across so differently on them
Much more sure of yourself and confident, arguing back etc. You need to channel some of that with this guy. Tell him to FUCK OFF and that if he comes near you again with his vile behaviour you will scream. Or something.

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 26/09/2025 20:38

AncoraAmarena · 26/09/2025 20:24

It's odd @YourBrickTiger , I've seen your replies on a few different threads this week and you come across so differently on them
Much more sure of yourself and confident, arguing back etc. You need to channel some of that with this guy. Tell him to FUCK OFF and that if he comes near you again with his vile behaviour you will scream. Or something.

I agree. I can be - with other things. Just not related to men. These men. This idiot I’m in love with and now being spoken to like this today. I think I’m just best off staying away from men. I’m never ever going to be enough. I’m 49 not 18 running about flirting with everyone. But I feel really cheap tonight and more unworthy. And then to be told I should start taking Mounjaro to be skinny and it will change my life. Again making me feel I’m worth nothing due to the extra weight.

OP posts:
AncoraAmarena · 26/09/2025 21:32

I agree that you're best staying away from men until you love yourself a lot more. You need to cut off from this noise and value yourself. You're not worthless, nobody is.

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 14:54

AncoraAmarena · 26/09/2025 21:32

I agree that you're best staying away from men until you love yourself a lot more. You need to cut off from this noise and value yourself. You're not worthless, nobody is.

Why would I value myself after the things he has done and said (the first guy?) I don’t get that.

I think though I may be realising something. Rumour has it he is going to Asia yet again. To this specific country. I cannot understand the tie he has there. The wife he brought over is divorcing him. But he’s still heavily involved with the family. I think he may go back there not for a loving relationship but to find a servant. I don’t think he’s capable of having a normal relationship. Does that sound plausible?

OP posts:
AncoraAmarena · 27/09/2025 15:24

YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 14:54

Why would I value myself after the things he has done and said (the first guy?) I don’t get that.

I think though I may be realising something. Rumour has it he is going to Asia yet again. To this specific country. I cannot understand the tie he has there. The wife he brought over is divorcing him. But he’s still heavily involved with the family. I think he may go back there not for a loving relationship but to find a servant. I don’t think he’s capable of having a normal relationship. Does that sound plausible?

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It doesn't matter what he's doing, where he's going or why. Put him out of your head and think about your 2nd to last sentence. That's the truth of it.

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 16:10

AncoraAmarena · 27/09/2025 15:24

It doesn't matter what he's doing, where he's going or why. Put him out of your head and think about your 2nd to last sentence. That's the truth of it.

Show quote history

The not being capable of a normal relationship part?

OP posts:
AncoraAmarena · 27/09/2025 16:44

YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 16:10

The not being capable of a normal relationship part?

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Yes

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 18:11

AncoraAmarena · 27/09/2025 16:44

Yes

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Thanks because it’s the only thing that makes sense. He’s being offered a loving relationship here, but just keeps running to flaming Asia.

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 27/09/2025 21:15

YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 18:11

Thanks because it’s the only thing that makes sense. He’s being offered a loving relationship here, but just keeps running to flaming Asia.

Show quote history

If he’s being offered anything at all - I despair.
And when you say that you won’t do anything at work because nothing changes - well of course it won’t change if no one says anything!

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 21:17

Bittenonce · 27/09/2025 21:15

If he’s being offered anything at all - I despair.
And when you say that you won’t do anything at work because nothing changes - well of course it won’t change if no one says anything!

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But he’s obviously being offered something by the Asians so how can he be that bad?? 💔

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 27/09/2025 21:30

YourBrickTiger · 27/09/2025 21:17

But he’s obviously being offered something by the Asians so how can he be that bad?? 💔

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Everything, everyone has a price. Over there the price is very low. Why do you think all the no hope dirty old men go there for their mail order brides? If you’re working 80 hours a week for a couple of hundred dollars a month, living in a shack, Mr Plane Ticket could seem like a palatable option.

MermaidMummy06 · 27/09/2025 21:39

OP, what's he's being offered in the Asian country is whatever he wants, no matter how depraved, for very little money. Or, a subserviant wife who's looking for a better opportunity, and will cook, clean and perform on demand without making any demands on him. It's transactional.

As for work harrassment, it's not about your worth. He's targeted you because he thinks you'll put up with it. You need to log it all, and report every disgusting comment. Ensure your employer knows you'll take it further if need be. It's the only thing that made my bosses move their butts when there was a bullying issue.

Take back your power & self esteem. These men's behaviours is are not a reflection on you. It's a reflection of them. They target women with low feelings of self worth & exploit it. You are worth much more. Now show them that by fighting back.

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 28/09/2025 12:26

Really struggling this weekend. I’ve heard that at the moment all he is talking about is this Asian place. He’s coming 54. It’s making me ill. I’ve watched a programme about what can go on in these places and am struggling to understand why, if I am enough as I am and I loved him so much, why continuing to go over there is a preferable option. What does that say about me? Are those women really so special?

His last marriage is ending in divorce and she was from that place. She lives in our country now. But why, after she was apparently awful to him and has used him for a visa, why is he keeping ties to that country - and to her family - what is the appeal? I really don’t understand it and am making myself so sick as in my mind it means all of that is preferable to being with me. Please can someone help me understand it might not be me, in regards to going to that country at his age? Turning his back on kids and a woman who loves him? Is it a control thing?? I find it hard to believe that all women over there are more subservient because the woman he married and brought over here really has played him for a fool. I’m so sorry everyone.

OP posts:
Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 28/09/2025 14:53

He's just not that into you. You talk as if you loving him makes him obligated to love you back. You need to leave this job and stop focussing on him and this obsession with what he's doing.

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 28/09/2025 15:43

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 28/09/2025 14:53

He's just not that into you. You talk as if you loving him makes him obligated to love you back. You need to leave this job and stop focussing on him and this obsession with what he's doing.

Thanks a lot. Clearly you didn’t read any of my first post or what has happened here. I can’t imagine how you think a response like this is helpful. I hope if you are indeed cooking up your first born son, he is taught to treat women with respect.

Going to give up now. Can’t cope for another day. Won’t waste anymore of anyone’s time.

OP posts:
Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 28/09/2025 16:47

YourBrickTiger · 28/09/2025 15:43

Thanks a lot. Clearly you didn’t read any of my first post or what has happened here. I can’t imagine how you think a response like this is helpful. I hope if you are indeed cooking up your first born son, he is taught to treat women with respect.

Going to give up now. Can’t cope for another day. Won’t waste anymore of anyone’s time.

Edited
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You're taking what I said out of context with the self pitying martyr thing. If you didn't work there you wouldn't have all this up to date info on him and it would greatly help you to move on.

Not sure why my child would be disrespectful? But yeah nice dig.

AncoraAmarena · 28/09/2025 17:09

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 28/09/2025 16:47

You're taking what I said out of context with the self pitying martyr thing. If you didn't work there you wouldn't have all this up to date info on him and it would greatly help you to move on.

Not sure why my child would be disrespectful? But yeah nice dig.

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Sorry @YourBrickTiger , I agree with this. You are on the road to martyrdom with the self pity.

From your snap back to @Cookingupmyfirstbornson, you show that you recognise that this man isn't treating you or other women with respect. So why are you willing to put up with it?

As I've said previously, you need to like yourself more. Only then will you be in a good place to have a healthy relationship- and it won't be with him, we know he's not capable.

Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 28/09/2025 17:11

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 28/09/2025 16:47

You're taking what I said out of context with the self pitying martyr thing. If you didn't work there you wouldn't have all this up to date info on him and it would greatly help you to move on.

Not sure why my child would be disrespectful? But yeah nice dig.

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it wasn’t a dig. This man has emotionally abused me, humiliated me, made me false promises, lied, told me he wanted a relationship with me…. And all sorts of other stuff. Did you read my original post? He is twice divorced and his kids don’t talk to him. Is he just not into them either???

That is just so unbelievably unhelpful and confusing. It’s like saying ‘oh you deserved the abuse and lies and trauma’ because he’s just not that into you - you may as well have said he’s a nice guy.

I said that about your future child because I hope you would never condone him doing these things because he just isn’t in to a girl. I just feel you have no idea what I’ve been through and said the first thing in your head. It really really hurts. This isn’t about you, it’s about what is happening to me. If he had hit me, would you say ‘he just isn’t into you?’

OP posts:
Original poster
YourBrickTiger · 28/09/2025 17:14

AncoraAmarena · 28/09/2025 17:09

Sorry @YourBrickTiger , I agree with this. You are on the road to martyrdom with the self pity.

From your snap back to @Cookingupmyfirstbornson, you show that you recognise that this man isn't treating you or other women with respect. So why are you willing to put up with it?

As I've said previously, you need to like yourself more. Only then will you be in a good place to have a healthy relationship- and it won't be with him, we know he's not capable.

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It’s not self pity to feel suicidal is it?

As I’ve explained many times I have ADHD and do not interpret things in the way others do. I am sorry about that. But this poster has said ‘he’s just not into you’. MY brain - mine - interprets that as it’s ok you have been broken, and ok you have been abused, because he’s not that into you. That’s my brain! It’s not self pity!! It’s really contradictory to ME to say ‘he’s just not that into you’ but then say ‘he’s not capable’. I literally don’t understand that I’m sorry. 😔 I’m not sure how ‘he’s just not into you’ can be taken out of context. Please feel free to explain.

It is not self pity. I am in PAIN. And I don’t want to be here anymore. How can you say that to someone who is in so much pain that that’s a better option? 💔

OP posts:
AyzumSkayzum · 28/09/2025 17:23

He's not into anyone OP, its nothing to do with you. He's just a silly, dirty old creep. No, he's not into you, or his kids, or anyone. He only cares about himself.

If you're feeling suicidal, please call Samaritans now. And I really dont think these threads are helping you, because you are desperately seeking justification for his behaviour, and lashing out when you are repeatedly told there isn't one. I really think you need to give these threads a miss for now, and get some proper, focused therapy, whatever will work for you.