Warned by BF's friend

[Oxycarpus]

I met a female friend of my BF for the first time last weekend. She was with her male friend and we spent a couple of hours in their company. As we left and when my BF was out of earshot, she caught my attention and said "be careful" twice. I nodded but now I'm in a quandry about what to do next. We've been together 5 months and he seems a gentle man and we get on well. I feel like I should press for more information as this is some kind of mysterious cryptic message if I don't. I've started to imagine what demons are in his cupboard.

How weird of her. If you have any way to contact her privately, you could do that and ask her to explain, eg on a phone call.

Be careful, as in he’s got another side to him, or because she wants him single for herself? I’ve seen both on here.

Might be a genuine warning about him or she might be trying to warn you off because she wants him for herself. Impossible to know with so little to go on.

That sounds like she’s privy to information you don’t yet have OP, she’s looking out for her fellow female. Claire’s law check perhaps?? I’d definitely try and probe a bit deeper here, something’s gone down that she didn’t like 🫤

You need to ask why, it may be her you need to be careful of and that will become clear when you ask

Could you get her contact details on the premise you really liked her company? You could then arrange a coffee date with her.

Don’t make the meet-up immediately about her remark but as you both relax, just slide it onto the convo.

Bit out there, but could she be meaning be careful with him?

However, having been on receiving end of a warning (and ignoring it) and watching a friend ignore warning s and us both regret it, it's probably worth digging.

Bit of shitty thing to do to say something like that without context and leave you hanging wondering what the hell it could mean.
I’d try and find her on social media and send her a message .

If she wanted him herself, I doubt she would warn you - as it may just mean you get him to see her less. The most harmless explanation could be that she means to be careful with him/his heart - like if he's been badly hurt in relationships recently and she's looking out for a friend.

However, I still think it's most likely to be careful of him, and I would be concerned. Like a PP, said, could you ask for her number to meet up - say you really liked her and would like to become friends.

It is ambiguous as if he’s that bad why is she hanging around with him?

I could understand not questioning her the first time she said it as it was so out of the blue - but the second time she said it I would have asked what on earth she meant - didn't you do this?

I was just thinking this. If MY friends were warning off people I was dating I’d be furious and wonder what the hell they’re friends with me for if they think so little of me .

You’re going to have to ask her. Was she drunk?

It’s a bit weird to warn someone about a person that you are clearly friends with and spend time with socially. If I thought a guy was dodgy enough that he warranted a verbal warning to any women he dates, I sure as hell wouldn’t be going out for social drinks with him.

I would probably WhatsApp her and ask her in confidence what she means as it’s been playing on your mind

He's clearly a cheat, surely that's obvious?!

Well it's a warning, he's got form for something and she's showing a little female solidarity. Lot's of women are friends with men they wouldn't date themselves because.....they know stuff.

You need to ask her why she said it.
I'd say the most likely reason is he has another girlfriend. Him being abusive is a possibility but a lot of women wouldn't be friends with a man who was a risk to women.

If she knows this man is abusive, why is she still apparently good friends with him? I don't know any women who knowingly hang out with domestic abusers.

There's no sign of her on SM. I'd have to look in his diary.

I wondered if it was more to do with him being a philanderer or possibly substance abuse. Things that wouldn't necessarily make her unfriend him.

I've warned people off male friends in front of them. Surely everyone has friends who are excellent mates but terrible partners. Serial short-term twats, sort of thing.

I wouldn't hang out with an abusive man, who I knew to be so.

She said it twice in succession. I was blind-sided and I don't know her. He was there (but in the background so I couldn't speak).

No not drunk.

If only I had her contact details.