My partner told me the reason we aren’t engaged is me

[NeatGoldGuide]

I’ve been with my partner 7 years. We went out at the weekend and after a few drinks I had the courage to ask why we weren’t engaged.
He proceeded to tell me that because I’m not in the best financial position (I have a credit card with about £500 on it) and not much in savings, that it would be irresponsible of him to propose until I was more stable, financially.
does this seem fair? I feel like I have to prove myself before I am worthy of getting engaged.

I'd tell him to fuck off

He doesn't want to marry you. Not now with a credit card, not ever.

I would be making him your ex partner now.

I hope you told him the reason you we’re splitting up was him

He’s going to keep making excuses and moving the goal posts!
Sorry

If that’s the only debt you have, that sounds like an excuse. Does he have substantial savings and is there no way to ringfence them if so? It also sounds like a very asymmetrical relationship at present if you are waiting for his approval. I’d rather be alone, myself.

So it's up to him to propose then?
Either way, if that's his reason then I wouldn't bother with him anymore because how long are you willing to wait around and waste your life for the moment when he 'decides' that your financially worthy of him?

First response nails it.

£500 on a CC is not very much in the grand scheme of things, and many people have no savings.

If he had simply said he wasn't sure about marriage full stop, then fair enough, but to make up its because of the money then I think he is making excuses.

I would immediately be thinking he doesn't want to marry you.

How very romantic.

He’s not “the one”.

It says a lot that you had to ask him after a few drinks. If you're not irresponsible with money then he is unreasonable.

You've wasted 7 years on him , don't waste any more.

Goodness. You might want to think about what a future with him might look like. What will he be like if you want kids and have to survive on Mat pay for a year each time? What if you always earn less than him - will he expect a 50% contribution to bills, mortgage etc regardless? What happens if you develop a long term illness affecting your ability to earn? Money is important but if he is being honest and a small credit card bill and not much in savings are really the reason you are not engaged then I would be very, very wary.

He’s saying he prefers a richer partner. Now you know. Time to move on

Where's the love? No romance? I'd leave him and find someone who thinks more highly of you.

Seriously OP, unless you've missing a couple of zeros off the numbers, that's a pathetic excuse aftr 7 years for not getting married (unless theres a huge backstory of debt) and he just doesnt want to marry you and that's the only "fault" he could find for his reasoning. He's tragic.

LTB, work on your boundaries and find someone better who loves you and wants to marry you and be with you.

Does he have a lot of savings that he is trying to protect?

You shouldn't need alcohol to speak to the man you've been with for 7 years.

Don't move in with him and don't have children if you're serious about being engaged.

Or have you done those things already?

He's a gold-plated arsehole.
You don't need one of those, right?

Tell him to sod off and dump his sorry arse.

Nope! Nope! Nope! Red flags 🚩 galore here. I am so sorry OP. Not be what you want to hear but throw him back. It’s an excuse. Many married couples start out with little and build a life together. I am sure you love him (don’t we all) but if you go with your head (imminently sensible) easy to see he’d be a nightmare with these unspoken rules and stipulations ever more. FS what would have stopped him years ago saying lets start saving together to get married. Truth is he’s probably waiting for a better offer and in his eyes you are Ms Alright For Now. You deserve better.

Yuk. Get rid, what a horrible man! He sees you as a possible business partner, not the love of his life.

He doesn't see you as his ten out of ten, he thinks your ways with money are not good enough for him.

He is not your ten out of ten either.

I'd fix my finances by becoming a lodger elsewhere, getting a part time job, paying off that debt and getting some savings together, and finding a new love.

Wow! I agree with the first response

LTB. You can do so much better and find someone you can communicate honestly with and not waste 7 years waiting for something that’ll never happen.