Online boyfriend always wants my attention and is controlling - what to do?

[Gasolinehorseys]

Online boyfriend constantly wants my attention and gets upset when I take time for myself.

I've been in an online relationship for a 8 months and I’ve noticed a pattern that’s suffocating me. He constantly wants to be on calls, watch films together or just be in contact. If I say I need some alone time or disconnect for a bit, he gets moody or starts questioning what I’m doing.

I don’t feel like I have space to be by myself and I hate having to justify my every move. He’s a nice person and I care about him, but I’m starting to feel suffocated and I’m not sure this relationship is healthy anymore.

Has anyone been through something like this?
I'm not really sure what to do or how to do it.

Just say it's not working and you need more space. If it's all online you can message then block. It doesn't sound healthy so a quick clean break is best.

If he's controlling online, think what he would be like in person!

It doesn't sound as though you are getting anything out of this other than stress and anxiety, so end it.

Online boyfriend? Do you actually meet irl?
Just switch him off.

Whats an online relationship?

Does he know where you live?

"I dont want you to contact me anymore"
Then block and delete.

So you've never met this person, but are allowing him to dictate how you spend your time?

You need to give yourself a shake, OP. Just block him. He's not a nice person, he'sjust an irrelevance on your phone/PC.

What’s an online boyfriend?

He’s a nice person

Nice people don't try to control someone's movements like this.

Have you actually met him?

Nope the relationship is definitely not healthy.

My eldest DD went through this with a long distance relationship when she was 19. Firstly all seemed good. They would see each other once a month for a long weekend, each of them taking it in turns to travel to see the other. The rest of the relationship conducted online. What started as nice chats, watching films and gaming together slowly became quite stifling for her as he would want to be with her all the time. He didn't understand why, if she had some free time, that she wouldn't want to be on call with him. She had a life and other friends and if she wanted to spend some time with them he would constantly be calling her while she was with them and expect her to immediately call him as soon as she got back. This then escalated to him texting her at work and getting moody with her when she didn't (couldn't) text right back. She had a lot of male friends who he started stalking on social media stating that he didn't trust them not to want to crack on with her, even though she constantly told him they were friends.

The straw that broke the camels back was one night she went out clubbing with friends and he was on call with her right until she left the house, then wanted her to text when she arrived, text while she was out, text when she got back. In the end one of her male friends could see she was getting distressed by his constant badgering and he took my DD's phone and called him and told him to back off. Cue boyfriend going nuts and giving my DD a barrage of abuse accusing her of being unfaithful. She ignored him, got home and she asked if she could talk to me about him and she told me everything. Meanwhile he was texting her while we were talking asking if she was home and he was sorry and worried about her. Then I myself got a message on my Facebook from him asking if she was home!!!

I then got involved and told him that he was overstepping the line and needed to back off and that she was turning her phone off and would not be talking to him tonight. Ultimately I let my DD handle her relationship as she is an adult but she let me know she was finishing things and I supported her and was there for back up if she needed it.

Your relationship sounds exactly how my DD's started. The intensity just kept ramping up and up until it destroyed my DD's soul.

This guy is giving massive red flags and your instinct already knows this is a really unhealthy situation. Please trust it.

If you’ve never actually met this “boyfriend” in person, then the relationship was never really healthy in the first place

Agreed. There is no dilemma here if he is purely online, I would just block him and forget about him.

OP, you are not obligated to stay in any relationship, most especially an online/long distance relationship. I would end it. He's not a nice person becuase he's trying to control your behaviour and time.

Online boyfriends are not real boyfriends. Just stop pretending and move on. Imagine this is real life!

You owe him nothing. Let someone else 'care' about him. Tell him it's finished, wish him all the best, and get on with your life instead of this fantasy half-life.

How old are you both?

Just turn your phone off, job done.

Online boyfriends aren’t real. Delete and block him, get out and meet people.

Don't let someone you’ve never met control your life - in fact you shouldnt let anyone control you - full stop.

He's not your boyfriend.

This isn't a relationship.

It's not healthy.

Put the devices down and get out more.

Meet real people.

Develop and exert your boundaries.

He doesn’t sound like a nice guy. He sounds like he is more interested in his own needs and doesn’t give a shit about your boundaries.

Are you a people pleaser OP?

Have you actually met him and been on dates?

Do you have Netflix? I suggest you watch 'Sweet Bobby, My Catfish Nightmare'.

Yes I am, not as much as I used to be, but I know I will feel guilty for breaking things off with him. He keeps telling me he loves me and he's attached to me and I worry how he'll be once I end things. I ended it with him once and he called my mother saying he was worried about me. @muggart

How on earth can you have an online boyfriend a relationship with someone you have never met

is his name Chat GTP or what

How did he have your mum's number?

Just block him.
why does he have your Mums number?

Tell him you’re not interested anymore for the reasons you’ve listed and then both you and your Mum block him.

Does he know where you live?