Page 6 | Husband obsessed with idea of threesome

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 15/06/2025 23:25

@Angelchick1971 "My xh asked for a threesome. Yes I said as long as I get to choose the other man. Funnily enough was never mentioned again! 🤣"

Yeah, it's the One Penis Policy!

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 15/06/2025 23:25

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Wowwee1234 · 15/06/2025 23:32

It is common as a male and female fantasy.

Might be worth explaing to your - OH if he dares mention it again - exactly why it is such a no from you. I.suspect you just have no sexual attraction to women, so the thought is not enjoyable. But maybe you don't want someone else touching him / him enjoying soneone else, or there's another / additional reason.

I think men find detailed explanations easier to fathom and follow, on the whole.

But don't leave him over this. It too shall pass. These things always do.

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 15/06/2025 23:39

I recently read a thread where the guy was push push pushing his gf to have threesome, she reluctantly agreed, and he found someone online. So they met and she and the woman really hit it off, and the OP agreed to go upstairs to the hotel room. Where she and the woman really started getting it on, and enjoying each other. And the guy had a complete FIT, and screamed at his gf that she was ruining his fantasy, which he'd had since age 12.

Yeah, because he thought gf and the woman were like porn objects, not humans, and they would be slavering over his weenie hahaha.

It was then very satisfying to read that gf dropped the guy and she and the woman were dating!

MsDogLady · 15/06/2025 23:43

@Jessa111, what massive disrespect. You witnessed your H and
pretend-Friend exchange sexual energy, which she orchestrated and he lapped up and won’t let go of. They want to have sex with each other and she is constantly on his mind, hence his mentionitis. Including you in the threesome is their way in to shag each other.

Friend would be H’s first choice, but he’d be open to another woman gratifiying him. Although you have refused to agree to a 3-way, he is clearly on a campaign to coerce you to give in. After 6 months of that sexual abuse, it would be game over for me. Surely all your trust and respect for him are gone.

As for the object of his infatuation, it’s difficult to fathom why you have continued to associate with this woman who is certainly not your friend.

KM99 · 16/06/2025 00:21

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a threesome.

Absolutely everything wrong with how your husband is behaving about it. Lecherous. Pushy. Lusting after your mate and banging on about it to you. As for her, just like all the others have said, not to be trusted.

MaySea · 16/06/2025 06:23

so basically your husband wants you to authorise him cheating and to be there while he does it! Tell him to fuck off. Is he ok with you fucking his mates?

Wallywobbles · 16/06/2025 06:29

You’re friend was testing the waters.

Mrsbloggz · 16/06/2025 12:53

MaySea · 16/06/2025 06:23

so basically your husband wants you to authorise him cheating and to be there while he does it! Tell him to fuck off. Is he ok with you fucking his mates?

This is the acid test, you should fuck one of his friends (obviously the best looking one that you can pull) his reaction will tell you everything you need to know 😊

SamkaSabrinka · 16/06/2025 22:57

BrickHare · 15/06/2025 22:14

Dangerous is a strong word, let’s not get carried away here. The husband is also up for sex with the friend, is he dangerous?

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yes. It's a dangerous situation, I mean. Dangerous in the sense that they might get carried away. Then later it blows over, meant nothing, but everything is ruined.

SamkaSabrinka · 16/06/2025 23:01

MaySea · 16/06/2025 06:23

so basically your husband wants you to authorise him cheating and to be there while he does it! Tell him to fuck off. Is he ok with you fucking his mates?

hahaha yes this EXACTLY

Tripthelightfantastical · 17/06/2025 06:57

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 15/06/2025 23:39

I recently read a thread where the guy was push push pushing his gf to have threesome, she reluctantly agreed, and he found someone online. So they met and she and the woman really hit it off, and the OP agreed to go upstairs to the hotel room. Where she and the woman really started getting it on, and enjoying each other. And the guy had a complete FIT, and screamed at his gf that she was ruining his fantasy, which he'd had since age 12.

Yeah, because he thought gf and the woman were like porn objects, not humans, and they would be slavering over his weenie hahaha.

It was then very satisfying to read that gf dropped the guy and she and the woman were dating!

How very romantic.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/06/2025 07:53

First, I wouldn't like my friend saying all that to my husband I'd find it flirty

But your husband is the one committed to you and only you.

If you're feeling brave you could approach it like this- you're both allowed one day on a dating app to find a potential. Then you show each other your shortlists.

He will find no one.

You will have about 50 handsome hunky young men like firemen and body builders.

Call his bluff and go for a drink with the fit guy if he stilll says he's keen.

He doesn't know what he's started....

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/06/2025 07:56

Jessa111 · 15/06/2025 15:47

What I find bizarre is that he could go from not looking at my friend that way, to blatantly fancying her just because she was upfront about her sex life.

Men will try and fuck anyone who is willing to usually

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/06/2025 07:58

Custardcreams25 · 15/06/2025 16:45

I had an ex who used to do this. He once mentioned it during sex which thoroughly pissed me off

I went back ‘oh yes I’d love one with two men! (I wouldn’t) Maybe the other man might actually make me cum’. Then I started telling him what I’d do with the other man.

He was absoloutly fuming but didn’t dare mention threesomes again 😂I dumped him shortly after. I suggest you do the same!

Perfect 😀

TranceNation · 17/06/2025 08:00

Threesomes can be fun when young and exploring sex but it never usually ends well if undertaken during a marriage.

RowsOfFlowers · 17/06/2025 08:16

Jessa111 · 15/06/2025 15:04

Changed my name for this. I wonder if I could get some advice.

About 6 months ago, Myself and my Husband went over my friends house 1 evening for a few drinks. The conversation came onto sex. My friend decided to tell us ( I already knew, so it was more for my husbands benefit ), how she’d been with tones of woman during her uni years, had threesomes and loads more. My husband was clearly turned on by this as his face lit up and he was asking loads of questions. When we got home he tried to initiate sex, but I wasn’t having any of it as I was annoyed by how excited he got during the conversation.

Since then, all he has gone on about is threesomes with another girl, he’s even mentioned my friend once or twice. In the past he’s always told me he didn’t fancy my friend as she wasn’t ‘ his type’, but I’m now starting to doubt that. He’ll name drop her in random conversations all the time.

I have had a serious chat with him, telling him I find it disrespectful that he’s even thinking about other woman and he just says ‘all men think about it’.

It’s like he has a sudden Infatuation with my friend just because he’s found out she’s bi sexual and has a high sex drive. We have a great sex life btw so it’s not like he’s getting obsessed cuz he’s getting none at home.

Other than ‘leave him’ does anyone have any advice?
Many thanks
xx

Grim. This would give me the absolute ICK.

RowsOfFlowers · 17/06/2025 08:17

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/06/2025 07:58

Perfect 😀

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This is brilliant.

SunnieShine · 17/06/2025 08:25

Goodlorditssummer · 15/06/2025 15:20

He is being vile and she is not your friend.

Yep, that's one friendship on its way out.

FartSock5000 · 17/06/2025 08:30

@Jessa111 flip it an tell him any talk of a threesome will be 2 men not 2 woman and see how keen he is then!

minnienono · 17/06/2025 08:32

My exh got obsessed with this, we divorced!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/06/2025 09:25

financialcareerstuff · 15/06/2025 17:37

I don’t have the visceral condemnation and disgust most do about this, because I do this kind of thing with my husband and love it. Not recommending it for you, since you are clearly appalled by the idea, but I do think that even for a conventional marriage, you sound quite closed and naive.

He is right that most men would fantasise about a threesome with another woman - to the point that I’d say it’s a very natural, normal part of being sexual. I suspect men who genuinely don’t, have lower than average sex drive or confidence. And a lot of men who claim they don’t, actually do. A lot of women do too of course.

I also think it’s completely natural and obvious that a woman talking about sexy things has inclined him to fancy her more/ insert her into his fantasy world. I’m surprised you are confused by that. Yes, men have a type, but most men’s ultimate type is: ‘woman willing to do sexy things’. Which is why I agree with others that this was a bad, attention-seeking move on your friend’s part. I would never share information about my wild sex life with men in vanilla marriages, because that would be the obvious consequence - I don’t get off on being in random blokes’ fantasies, and it’s not fair on their wives, who don’t want to pursue that kind of stuff.

I would say you need to be firmer about the fact that doing this would be totally unacceptable to you, but try to be a bit less judgey about the fact that he is very naturally thinking about it, now that it’s been planted in his head. I don’t think it’s realistic or reasonable to go all mad about what he’s thinking or feeling or finding sexy. You’re not the thought police- or at least, I don’t think you should be. But what you can and should do is say what you are comfortable hearing about or doing.

so something like ‘heh, I get it. It’s got you excited. But it turns me off and repulses me- so I don’t want to hear about it, and there is no way I would ever consider such a thing- so this one has to live and die in your head - please don’t bring it out into our relationship, because our sex life and trust will suffer if you do’,

But don’t get into debates about whether what he’s thinking about is ok or normal or acceptable. That’s the wrong field of discussion in my opinion. It’s controlling and you are on much weaker ground than simply defining what you are prepared to be involved in.

This is the best advice

SamkaSabrinka · 17/06/2025 19:32

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/06/2025 07:56

Men will try and fuck anyone who is willing to usually

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😂

kkloo · 20/06/2025 06:13

You should only have to tell him once that you're not interested. The fact that you've told him how disrespectful this is but yet he's bringing it up every 2-3 weeks is disgusting. I don't know how you can still have a great sex life with him because I wouldn't want him anywhere near me at this point tbh.

MyQuirkyTraybake · 20/07/2025 01:55

Personally I'd have "misunderstood" instantly and destroyed the fun by saying, "Great! I've always wanted to try a large fella and thought I'd missed the boat when I met you. Glad you're up for it, I've got a guy in mind!".

Unfortunately it's a bit late for that now.