Why are people long term single?

[loveyoutothemoon]

So people that want a relationship and are single more often than not, is it more because they're difficult to get along with, insecure etc? Or could it be more down to luck?
I suppose I'm looking for personal experiences really.
For me it's fussiness and impatience and insecurity, which I'm having counselling for.

Single parent who doesn’t really have time to date- when I have the men have been duds. So yeah it’s down to luck.
In my 20s it was because I wanted to be single and had situationships instead 😄

I think it’s mostly because a vast portion of men are shit.

For me being single is having peace of mind. I can do what I want, when I want. No one moaning cos I want to curl up with a good book. 😀

I'm just lucky I guess!

But honestly, while I might like the abstract idea of a relationship, since being single I've become far too used to doing what I want, when I want, not having to consider anyone else and basically being completely and utterly selfish.

Got to be a hell of a person to make me give all that up.

Because I'm happy

Because I prefer to be single, CBA with dating and not got time for that shit 😆

Single parent. No time or energy to care about another adult.

I have the best life, why would I fuck it all up for a mediocre man?

I imagine single people know that the idea (fantasy?) of a romantic relationship is often much nicer than the reality. So they may say they want a partner but can't be bothered to do anything about it as in all honesty, they are perfectly content in their singledom.

Because I'd rather be single than in some sort of relationship with the wrong person. I'm not prepared to settle ever again.

Absolutely this. I’ve been single for 8 years, am now 52 and haven’t met a single one in all that time I’d want to commit to. I’d actually quite like a partner - but not any old inadequate.

High standards.

I think the term single is wrong, because when you are "single" you can date many men.

I laugh when people in relationships call me single

I say to them "you can only be with one man. I can date many men. You are more single than me!

Many men are entitled, immature and selfish partners, not all.

I find it hard to maintain interest in men, and them me too. I ve no interest in constantly acquiescing to their opinions and needs. Occassionly I meet a man who appears to be more thoughtful and egalitarian, I generally find them a little draining. 😅😅 I find all men draining in one way or another. I want nothing more than the odd flirt and fling.

I'm a widow. I was married for 20+ years so I'm not au-fait with modern dating. I don't like OLD and I'm not aware of any other way to meet men these days. When I was young, boys asked me out - I didn't need to do anything. Now I'm in my 40s, this doesn't happen. So that's that.

I was single a long time before I got together with DH, and if/when I'm widowed, I don't plan on looking for anyone else. I'm more than happy on my own, doing my own thing, not having to worry about someone else, plan around them, never been needy and always looked after myself, financially, emotionally, etc. I only got together with DH because he's very similar - self contained, no drama, quietly does his own thing, just like me. Obviously lots of benefits of being together, but to be honest, I can take it or leave it - may sound harsh but we've both always been head rather than heart kinds of people! I certainly don't "need" anyone and wouldn't actively go out looking for anyone. If someone else came along, who shared my outlook and values, then maybe we'd get together, like I did with DH, but it really wouldn't be a priority. We've both said we'd be happy enough on our own when one of us goes, but also happy whilst we continue being together.

I feel that at this point in my life there’s nothing a partner could add to my life that would be worth the effort.

Hmm I've tried, I've failed, they've failed. I gave up after failing at the relationship malarkey many times, I imposed a product recall on myself. I prefer being single and tried to force myself to want what I'm meant to want for too long.

I need an intelligent, quick thinking man or I get bored v quickly

Because being single gives me far more benefits, by a very very long way. The theory of a relationship is good. But IME men never even come 1/3 of the way to meeting the theory. It isn't that there are no good men, I have friends married to good men. But good men are in a huge minority. I've never had a relationship that has added more to my life than it's taken. So why bother?

I would probably be happier in a happy relationship......... but I suspect all the good ones are taken. Or damaged by their previous relationships. Or come with significant baggage. Id love a man in my life but Id rather be single than have to put up with a mediocre bloke.

In my 50’s and been single over 5 years and I mean absolutely single.

Had a handful of dates but only got to a second date a couple of times.

Honestly I enjoy my life. I have great friends, really good social life, go away for weekends, have 3/4 holidays each year and I have peace and quiet in my own space.

I can honestly say it would take someone very special who actually adds something b to my life - and I add to his - ti make me even think about getting into a relationship. And even if mr perfect came along, I would never cohabit again or give up my social life with my friends.

From experience of last few years, there’s just not decent quality older men out there and I’d rather stay single than settle

For me it’s because I won’t settle for less or average. I know I can be in my own and take care of myself and be independent. When I meet someone it will be because I want to not because I’m lonely. I’ve been single 5 years and I love it. Most men are sub par and want to be mothered and I’ve got 2 kids already I want someone who can actually look after themselves

Lone parent of 2, one with SEND and not in education at all for up to 2.5 years at a stretch.

Zero childcare and no money to buy any in.

I literally couldn't go anywhere. I didn't go out after 3.30pm (apart from with my children) for 7 years.

Because the only thing I actually want a man around for is sex and most of them are terrible at it. 30-40 sexual partners and only one ever got me to orgasm.