Why are people long term single?

[loveyoutothemoon]

So people that want a relationship and are single more often than not, is it more because they're difficult to get along with, insecure etc? Or could it be more down to luck?
I suppose I'm looking for personal experiences really.
For me it's fussiness and impatience and insecurity, which I'm having counselling for.

@Dweetfidilove how did you find your arrangement??????

One word

Men

They are appalling

my wife died a couple of months ago you look young let's have sex

I would go out for a drink with you but my 25 year old might need a lift and I can't possibly be less than a mile away with you in a coffee shop (for context it was closer to where she might have needed collecting from so he could have got to her faster)

(My children have no contact with their father) before I even MET this man he demanded (not asked) that I send my children away to their father AT LEAST 50% of the time or he wouldn't date me and my daughter would have to leave my home and not return as soon as she turned 18

Those were the standouts

Have been single for 4 years. I haven't met anyone who wants anything serious which I would love as I've never had a serious relationship before. Not sure if I want a family but I hate how I don't have anyone to discuss that possibility with

Why do we want a relationship? Family and finances and social conditioning and loneliness.
I’ve raised my family, have enough money, don’t care what people think and have friends.
Not bothered about sex either. Not that that’s hard to get if you want it.

I do hope my children meet someone great. For the family and finances side of things at least. My two girls are not interested though.

All the single ladies 🙌

I was a lone parent for quite a while and didn't really have the time for dating. Since the DCs have grown up I've done a bit of OLD but there's a lot of women out there who are just plain hard work. I'm very self-sufficient anyway so it's no real loss.

@ShadowTheHedgehog I'm sorry! How old are you?

My ex is still single too and very good at what he does; so I call upon him when I need to scratch the itch.

Definitely higher standards. Like pp it's difficult to see how a man would add enough to my life to be worth the effort. If I get any me time I want to focus on doing stuff that I enjoy, not on dating mediocre men. Life is way too short.

So true

@Dweetfidilove fantastic! Still good for something. That would ge ideal with someone I already know and feel safe with!

Messing up your nice crisp sheets? Me too

I don’t know a single couple that I can say look even contented to me. Maybe I run in odd circles.

i just cant be bothered i think menopause made me loose all my fucks & there’s not coming back.

Now I’m in my 40s I get asked out more than I ever have, from young to old, but I don’t want a relationship again. The most I have is sex, cuddles, dates. It’s fun meeting different men rather than giving one the chance to fuck it all up.

I’m single for several reasons - I left a long term abusive relationship and I’m still recovering in a lot of ways but also my dating pool is pretty small: I’m a single mum, a lesbian, carry a fair amount of baggage and am living in a very small town! Online dating fills me with dread and my life is pretty full of my kids, my business and my expanding list of interests after years of having virtually nothing for myself. I can see how partner could improve my life and one day I’d like to have a relationship of equals with someone. But if it doesn’t happen I know I’m going to be ok.

Previous abusive relationships, have buried head and focused on climbing the ladder at work, where I have succeeded. Now don't feel I have time... focusing on losing weight at the moment. I'm not desperate, I won't use dating apps, what will be will be! I'm very independent

My sister is single and has been for some time. she gets told this. However her standards are:-

• no illicit drug use or smoking dope
• no unsecured debt.
• no abusive behaviour

the reality is once you are over 38 or so the men between 40 and 60 primarily only want to date women in their twenties or early thirties. There are a few exceptions but that means that there are a lot more women over very few men.

Common sense.

I’m happily single(9 years now) and intend to remain so. I’m selfish at all, but I prefer my own company, and a less stressful life in general
I have a couple of friends, and my adult sons who visit
I tell my wonderful Westie every day that he’s the best male I’ve ever lived with… and I mean it!

I’m NOT selfish, that should read

For me its because i'm ugly

i have had literally no interest from men for years

Never been approached, asked out, flirted with or chatted up

When I was younger, I wanted to get married and have children. So I was looking for someone to do that with. And I did. I loved him, but there were so many compromises. They felt worth it because I was following my dreams.

After we separated, and I didn’t have those dreams any more, my standards rose by about a mile. No more compromises. So I stayed single for years. And I know that if there’s ever an inkling of nonsense in my current relationship, I’ll be single again, I’m happy being single.

I`ve been single for years and i love it no plans to change it.
Do what the fuck i want when i want how i want with who i want.
Do i get lonely NO i dont i love my peace at home.

I have a male colleague who is single. He’s not actually A bad person but he comes across quite condescending when you first meet him and I suspect it puts women off unless they get to know him and realise it’s just an odd sense of humour.

I also have a very comfortable arrangement that sorts out the physical needs

I'd try for one of those if there was a guarantee that he'd actually meet my needs.

Well this forum is enough to put people off being married/ having a partner.. with all the posts about their shit partners...and so much better and peace of mind and happiness and contentment being single.

I just don’t see that in real life, and I’m all over the place in cities and towns.. people are with others their own age. How many 50 and 60 year old men would be able to attract a woman in her 20s/30s!? and why would they want to. I see it in the celeb world and I’ve heard of sugardaddies but that’s it