Have I been SA’d?

[MyTealBee]

I’ve spoken to a couple of people about this but wanted to get a wider opinion on the matter. Maybe around 8months-year ago my partner didn’t pull out when I asked him to. On a second occasion I asked him to wear a condom and he didn’t - he didn’t pull out on this occasion either. I’m really confused as to what I feel. This wasn’t for a contraceptive reason, it was just that I didn’t want his semen inside of me on those days. We’ve spoken about and he claims he doesn’t know why he did it. Am I overthinking this or was I sexually assaulted?

Sounds like he knows you're on birth control nothing sinister

Wtf?

I don’t think you’ve been sexually assaulted, but time to break up with him if you can’t trust he will wear a condom when asked.

If he did it without your consent, yes OP it counts as sexual abuse.
Are you okay?

? .. I don't think it's sexual assault
it sounds like he's maybe getting carried away knowing she's on birth control if that's easier to understand.

I’m appalled at the comments about this not being serious or assault. It absolutely is assault. You stated your boundaries and he violated them. I would break up with him immediately. I would also suggest that you should contact rape crisis and speak to a professional who will be best placed to advise you. You might want to have a few counselling sessions to gather your feelings on this. I am so very sorry this has happened to you. You’ve been forced into a sexual act that you expressed that you did not want. That’s assault. It doesn’t matter that it’s your current partner. Most women are sexually assaulted by men they know.

Yes and she said she didn't want it so he's massively in the wrong. It's sexual assault in my book.

It’s a crime. You didn’t consent to him ejaculating inside you and he did it anyway knowing you’d said no.

You can’t trust him.

If he was getting, “carried away” and ejaculating in her face when she didn’t want it, would that be assault?

Thank you to the reasonable posters who understand the gravity of what's happened here.

He's not to be trusted OP.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-57618003

Other news outlets cover stealth rape if you google that term.

I’m so sorry he did that. In my opinion, he did it deliberately. He knew that on those days you didn’t want to deal with the mess and he either didn’t care or wanted to make sure you had to deal with it. Were you going out somewhere nice without him?

Grim. I hope you leave him.

I think he has over stepped the mark doing something you asked him not to (but given you are happy with no condom: no STI fear, no pregnancy fears: you are on contraception and you have had sex with him more than once after he disrespected your initial “don’t do X) so I would seriously reconsider the relationship but taking all aspects into account SA is a stretch

I think by definition yes, but it is one of those that people (likely including your partner) will have opinions on - those opinions dont matter. ultimately, something sexual happened to you that you didnt want. (my personal opinions based on my own experience are messy on this and i dont know how to explain it.) I really hope you're OK.

If you ask someone to stop during sex, then they should stop.

If they don't, they no longer have consent.

It's very simple.

Him wanting to orgasm should not override her consent.

I reckon if he was reported to the police over it, they would view as sexual assault judging by the lack of consent here.

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-sexual-assault/

What the fuck? I'm aghast at this comment.

It was not his decision. It doesn't matter if he thought she was on BC or not. A woman set a clear boundary - "do not ejaculate inside my vagina" - and this man decided that he could do whatever he wanted, taking away her right to make decisions about her own body and doing something during sex that she expressly did not consent to. That's sexual assault.

Ok but telling a police officer 'I told him to pull out and he didn't' whilst have consensual sex .. if that's what you want to do that's fine I'm not saying don't I just answered the question in title.
I know what sexual assault is, I've experienced it before and I've also had someone sent to prison for attempted rape.
Personally I would just dump him as he has no respect, I don't think it's something that warrants arrest but again that's only my opinion which you asked for in the title.
He sounds selfish and untrustworthy, you deserve better.

I said "if he was reported to the police" and yes they do take this seriously. It's up to the OP what she does at this point. But don't tell her it's not sexual assault because it doesn't fit your viewpoint. The law recognises it for what it is.

I didn't, I just said what I think it probably is. I was actually trying to make her feel better.

You were feeding bullshit, trying to make someone feel better about having their boundaries violated? Fucking hell.

What 😂😭 ok.

You literally said you don't think it's SA.

Seriously? It is sexual assault. She didn’t want it and told him so, he ignored it and carried on anyway.

Yes, it's SA. There's no doubt.