Have I been SA’d?

[MyTealBee]

I’ve spoken to a couple of people about this but wanted to get a wider opinion on the matter. Maybe around 8months-year ago my partner didn’t pull out when I asked him to. On a second occasion I asked him to wear a condom and he didn’t - he didn’t pull out on this occasion either. I’m really confused as to what I feel. This wasn’t for a contraceptive reason, it was just that I didn’t want his semen inside of me on those days. We’ve spoken about and he claims he doesn’t know why he did it. Am I overthinking this or was I sexually assaulted?

That's disgusting.

You're very "knee jerk" and sensationalist aren't you?

I think by the amount of likes I have on my posts, other readers that aren't so volatile understand perfectly what I was trying to say.

And newsflash: it wasn't that I think men are allowed to rape women. You are behaving despicably with accusations such as that. I'm not engaging with you further, you've lost all sense of rationality.

@SquashedMallow also wrote “Women gets pissed (man also pissed) have sex. Woman realises he's minging when she's sobered up. Accuses him of rape.”

That's fucking horrific.

I'm not engaging with you further. You're personally attacking me. You've lost all sense of balance.

Talk about twisting the context. If you actually read my post up thread you'll see what that was in relation to FFS!!!!!!!!!!!

The PP is being extremely vindictive, as such I've reported her. She's spreading misinformation regarding my posting context. I'm out of this

I'm not the only poster who is telling you that your posts are disgusting.

Am I?

No one twisted your words.

You wrote them word for word.

Your posts are absolutely shocking.

If you continue to personally insult me by accusing me of saying women should be up for being raped, I will report you. I will not engage further. I'm politely asking you to stop @ me. I don't feel your accusations are in anyway balanced or rational.

I asked you a question without being rude about if you'd wear your shoes into someones house when asked not to, and you still failed to answer. Don't make excuses for not being able to back up your misogyny.

I'm not sure if you're able to read,

But it was another poster that quoted your words.

Not me.

Several posters on this page are calling you out on your bad behaviour.

I'm going to state it simply.

In the context of an otherwise loving relationship with no red flags (as per op) my first port of call and subsequent suggestion would be to talk to the person.

My first recommended port of call would not be to call her otherwise loving and respectful partner a "rapist" and advise her to call a rape hotline. That would not be balanced advice in my opinion. (Based on the context of her particular scenario here )

If ops partner had form for coercive behaviour (however subtle) my advice would be different.

Repeating myself : the context matters here.

Being accused of being a rape apologist is not acceptable.

She did talk to her partner and he told her that he didn't know why did it.

Did you miss that part?

@SquashedMallow I think you should leave this conversation. This doesn’t feel like a safe space considering your past comments. It’s also reasonable for the OP to take advice first elsewhere if she feels her boundaries may have been violated. Her partner (who violated her boundaries) may not be the safest first person to go to.

You don't get to censor different opinions.

Considering the OP is 8 months on from this and still in a relationship with this person and has offered no other red flag behaviour before or since, talking things out Is if something is bothering her is not an outlandish suggestion.

She may well benefit from talking to an outside service!? But there are plenty of services that are not necessarily "rape crisis"

Yes, it does. This is partly what Julian Assaunge was accused of, in his SA charge.

If it was without consent (not wearing a condom when you'd asked him to), it is assault.

Watch the TV series 'I May Destroy You'. Sex without a condom is one of the forms of assault she suffers.

Nope that is where you are very wrong

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-stealthing/

they are exactly the right people to talk to, people who have both the knowledge of the act and will have dealt with it plenty of times to make the OP feel listened to, supported and justified in her reactions and will be able to move forward

there is no other service better at talking it through with her

So still not answering my very simple question. Would you take your shoes off in a friends house if she requested, having previously not been asked to?

Due to the ongoing personal attack (which has been reported), I shall not be commenting further on this thread. As you may see - when I last replied to you - it invited another @ from a particular poster directed at me. Therefore I do not feel it is in my best interests to continue to open myself up for any further baiting by this poster.