Husbands food preferences driving me crazy - NEW THREAD

[Jessa85]

NEW THREAD for those following my thread from yesterday!

I will post the update of my conversation with my husband in a second.Original thread

Oh OP...I'm so sorry. You are your girls deserve so so much happiness. I've nothing useful to add but I know there are so many of us behind you!

Oh OP, what a vile, selfish prick. You're an absolute inspiration, you're so strong, and your girls are unbelievably lucky to have you as their mum!

Heartbreaking for you, I'm so sorry @Jessa85 💔
This can only make you stronger 💪 You've got this!!

Much love to you and your DC 💐

OP you knew something wasn’t right. He’s an absolute fool. To not want to be married is an adult decision. To tell an OW he has regrets over having children is vile.
Well, he picked the wrong woman if he thought you’d roll over.
Supporting his dreams, what a self-centred fool.
And to think you and your girls have been going without while this idiot has been spending money on an affair.
Thank goodness you had already decided to leave him.
Now is the time for you to stand up on behalf of yourself and your daughters. I know you are in shock but you will do it.
You will now have freedom from this awful man. Freedom to live the way you want.
And to think while he was messaging this woman he was moaning he wasn’t getting what he wanted for dinner.
I picture an adventurous future for you and your girls.
While he is sitting in a boring, bland apartment abroad with a disillusioned woman serving up McCain smiley face potatoes, wondering what one earth she had saddled herself with.

Oh god, OP, how absolutely devastating for you to read all that about you and your girls. He's even more disgusting than. You thought. Thank god you're getting him out of your life, but I'm so sorry that you and your girls have to go through all this xxx

So he was financially abusing you and your children to pay for his affair.

I really hope you get the chance to destroy his life.

Oh my god @Jessa85
Im so so sorry. Honestly you sound amazing and you really don’t deserve this. You’re incredible the way you have organised things and how empowered you have become over the course of these threads.
You have absolutely got this.
You’re doing everything right.
He really is a total shit of a man.
You are a woman on a mission and you will get there and you will be happier.
Supporting you every step of the way xx

❤️

How awful but also predictable.

do you think they’ve worked out they can’t start their new life in the UAE together until they’re actually married?!

Well Op I'm sorry you had to read all that but now you know exactly who he is, a man who wants all his own way and cares nothing for who he hurts to get it. I called him a wanker but I take that back, he's an utter, utter self serving bastard.

I would think seriously about contacting his boss to ask if his company would really fund moving his affair partner over to Dubai and leaving his wife and kids behind, say you need to know for the glass door reviews.

'Not supporting his dreams'

What an arrogant arsehole.

Sending you strength vibes @Jessa85

Thats a real gut punch.
But, remember you weren't happy, you already a foot out of the door.
The deceit & treachery should shore up that river if tears,
Now you Grey Rock.
Show him no emotion.
Serve the papers & smile as this grey flacid dick drives away.

Actually he's done you the biggest favour, the trash is taking itself out. Much love xx

Why any woman would take a man on his situation I’ve no idea. Getting the wine ready. Vile.
Yes for all his career dreams I don’t think him and this woman have thought this through!
Good luck to them - they are going to need it!!!

Edited. Just seen very latest updates…

I’m so sorry you’re hurting but just try and see it as extra fuel to power you through this divorce. You had already realised what a cock he was and that you wanted to leave. This is just the final nail in the coffin showing you so very clearly that you’re making the right decision.

If you didn’t know this information you could have torn yourself up with the thoughts of “what if I stayed?” And “what if we tried to make it work?” But with this information you know for sure you’re doing the right thing.

Take him for every penny you’re legally entitled to and go and live your best life.

This is so awful for you. But I am sure you are now pleased that you started a thread about his stupid food issues.

You are now a good few steps ahead, rather than having him return from UAE and being blindsided by this. Starting a thread about your frustrations has been the best thing you could have done.

Best part is, he thinks he's coming home to give you a shock, and he is going to get one of his own. You can do this.

Even knowing what a beige eating, financially abusive cockbrain he is, that must still have been an incredibly painful discovery.

He has consistently underestimated and undervalued you - and the satisfaction when you take him down is going to be immense. He will no longer have any influence over your girls - it will be you, their amazing Mum who will be able to raise them so well, and they will thrive.

Practically - did he hint at divorce to his AP? Is it likely he has been getting his ducks in a row and speaking to a solicitor as well?

Have you got access to joint funds? Have you got enough to live on? To pay the mortgage incase he stops paying? Have you managed to see / screenshot all his bank balances - does he banking apps on his iPad? And have you searched for any other evidence of investments he hasn't mentioned?

Are you going to go after him for financial abuse as well?

I'd send you strength but you are an absolute warrior and this anger will no doubt fuel you to rebuild the most incredible life without him.

Oh OP how horrible.

But (and I mean this with the utmost sincerity) the upside is that there are now no “what if’s”. No more wondering how you could have made his dinners more bland or been a nicer trailing spouse. None of it. All guilt and self recrimination removed. This was all on HIM. All lines have been crossed. It’s done.

Best wishes to you. You don’t know this yet but you’re actually over the worst.

Thank you for all your lovely messages of support.

@ASNQuery I don't think they thought about it at all and I wish I was a fly on the wall when they realise.
@Codlingmoths at this stage I don't want to do anything to jeopardise his employment status. I want to drain his financials if anything happens to that me and the girls will lose out.

Can I get your opinions on something, because I'm really angry right now but thought of an idea. He is back on Thursday and going to her house, I have her address from the messages... do I, take his car there on Thursday afternoon? and not say a word, no messages, nothing just drop it off, keys through the door and go. He's not expecting to tell me anything until Saturday and I do not want to give that prick the pleasure of that. What do you think?

I think that would be bloody brilliant

Whatever you do, OP really think it through carefully. Think long term, don't hijack yourself now.

I personally think that's a great idea. There will be some satisfaction in taking back control and it will take the wind out of his sails. I also want to say how much I admire your strength and determination op...there will be rocky times ahead but I KNOW you and your girls are going to absolutely thrive 💐❤️

And if you do, do a quick drive beforehand by to check you can easily and quickly do the drop and, most importantly, get home quickly and safely.

I was going to suggest something like this and if you have her address that would be perfect. This would keep him away from your house, and avoid a confrontation with him as frankly - what is there to say?
Keep his iPad though as, you know, it's locked in a drawer so 🤷‍♀️