He’s got someone else hasn’t he?

[Imustbestupid]

So, my partner of 10 years today suddenly said he had to drive an hour away to meet someone for business. I can’t explain why but I felt a bit off about it. Just his manner somehow. He has, in the past, messaged another woman but I know it went no further. Just flirty comments on his behalf. I saw them all and she shut him down. Anyway, he swore it was over and that was it. This was over a year ago. I tried to get over it but I have to confess I never forgot and never really did get past it. Today, he was gone for five hours. Claimed he has been shopping as well as the business meeting but no shopping to show for it. His phone bleeped and it was a message from a woman on WhatsApp. He literally has no women friends. He has been unusually attentive since getting home. I am going to check his WhatsApp when he is asleep later. Just need a handhold for what I think I will find. Thank you

Yep, I'd bet good money that he's been playing away when he's been working away...the flippant attitude to it 'only a game' and the fact that he's now willing to do it on 'home turf' does give credence to it.

I hope his begging doesn't convince you to give it another try, I don't think you could ever trust him again. He's not sorry he did it, he's only sorry he got caught.

Cat is worth 10 of him

Or he’s got a very low opinion of you! Either way you’re well rid! He’s 51 and still a bloody dog, there is honestly no hope for him, at least you will always be a decent character! He’s still trying to pull you down and make you accountable for HIS actions, how dare he!

He sounds both pathetic and dishonest.
So as hard as it is, thank goodness you found this out now.
you deserve so much better than this loser.
So look after yourself . Better times are ahead for you, probably not for him but that’s his problem.

Dearest Sleazy Weasel,
I'm so sorry to have upset you and broken your trust in me, by having the audacity to discover your sex messages and Thursday plan, especially as it was only a game. I should have stopped before chucking you out, to remind myself that nobody will ever compare to you and your fine attributes.
Why don’t you come round on Wednesday at 6pm and I can show you just how sorry I really am.
Until then, xx

Then have as many bin bags as it takes to get rid of every bit of him and his shit from your life, all lined up nicely in your front garden, -hopefully in the rain.
No need to open the door.

I'm glad you have your handsome orange friend to care for you OP. Animals really are the best.

Fuck me. Actually gobsmacked at the arrogance of that statement. I'm not a cheater so don't lump us all in with you matey!

@Imustbestupid did big orange cat like him? Cats are a very good judge of character.

He is a big hunk of ginger gorgeousness and him knowing that you need comfort is just beautiful.

You're doing so well. Take it hour by hour just now. And then day by day. And then week by week. Until the waste of space is out of your head for good ❤️ big hugs.

Yes I thought that too - maybe he’s trying to say I’m not good enough so anyone else would also cheat. He’s actually nearly 58, I’m 51.

Big orange cat was wary at first but they did get on well. He doted on the cat, it was one of the things I liked about him. He was always scooping him up and telling him how much we loved him.

Oh my god, just keep walking……58 and still hasn't outgrown that behaviour, I think you’d do better with most individuals on the planet………

58? Pathetic! This is why I as someone in my late 30s refuses to date much older men.

They are no less likely to cheat even when they’re with a younger woman plus they often come with the various issues older men are more likely to have. it’s a lose-lose situation.

No thanks. I’ll take my chances on a man my age.

You've acted in your own interests decisively.

So impressed with you.

I would suggest you leave it a month before any more communication with him...it's not going to benefit you and its going to repeatedly give you more crazy talk to get your head around.

Book some gym or yoga glasses or cinema tickets or meals out with friends....keep busy.

Youre doing great.

This is literally unbelievable - he just came to my door. I answered it (didn’t know it was him) and all he said was ‘could I please borrow some detergent?’ I mean what???!!! He lives nearby but I don’t think he even has a washing machine installed yet. I literally was speechless. I said ‘I think you’ll find there are these things called shops’ and shut the door in his face. Absolutely crazy. No concept of what he’s done at all!

@Imustbestupid great answer ! You're doing so well. ❤️

Well done with your on the spot response! That was a brilliant reaction. Honestly, I'm sure if I were you I'd have been so shocked and stunned I'd have given him the detergent along with a cup of sugar!

Well done, he is trying to weasel his way back into your life by degrees, keep being harsh with him, any bit of softness from you will lead him to believe he is potentially getting his way, in his head he probably thinks all you need is time and eventually you will come round.
Stop replying to unnecessary texts

What an idiot he is. I bet he was walking to your door trying to think of a random excuse to weasel his way into the house to talk to you further, try to work his way back in. Detergent, is that the best he could think of?! I love your reaction 💪🏼 well done you.

I was so stunned I nearly did, then that phrase popped into my head thankfully

He's testing the waters. The angry phase of the cycle will come next, OP, when you make it clear that you mean what you say.

He’s starting to realise what he’s up against !

@Imustbestupid well done. You know it's an excuse.

Wow what an idiot. Excellent response - orange cat will be proud.

Oh, he loved big orange cat? Maybe he's not so bad after all...

I'M JOKING, he's still a waste of space. Big orange cat was probably just putting up with him.

Well done in your reply to him when he came to your door. I'm with the PPs, I'd have been that shocked that I'd have given him the detergent 😂

Has he taken his crap with him?