Moved in with my partner and I did make a huge mistake - thread 2…

[haveimadeamistake]

Hope it’s okay to carry on posting as the thread has been a massive source of support for me and although I’ve asked him to leave, I could still really do with some support as I navigate the actual logistics of moving out and how to explain this to my DD.

link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5216942-moved-in-with-partner-and-i-might-have-made-a-huge-mistake?page=1

I will be following you on your new journey. 👏

I'm here too - onwards and upwards OP - you are doing brilliant!

Wishing you all the best, OP. I read your posts on your previous thread; well done on making the right decision so quickly.

Well done OP been thinking about you and worrying. So glad you’ve got that feeling of relief and sorry it’s worked out this way, but you’ve been so strong. Re telling DD, personally I always think a very simplified version of the truth is the way to go. Mummy didn’t like living with X after all, X wasn’t being kind, but now we will have our own cosy house again just for us - yay! Anyway let’s have a lovely hot chocolate. I have no idea if that’s the right approach but it’s what I’d go for.

This is the perfect approach

Good luck when are you moving?

Hello again! I was also thinking he must realise it's not working out - ideally, you'll be able to share your regrets when emotions have settled. It's a heck of a relief that he's decided to keep the house on; it means you'll have a bit of time to figure out getting yourself off the deeds and the loan 🤞

I was so pleased when you got your new rental! Wishing the very best to you & DD and a happy Christmas 🎄🤶

Well bloody done op, good for you, now you have dome space, yes maybe in a few days you can have a chat with him moving forwards, bloody great work tonight, he played right into your hands, he knows you're checked out, he's loss, blood ducks in row you have, 👍

And the chocolate biscuits of course 😋

I share your sense of relief. Well done for putting your child first.

I am absolutely over the moon for your DD! She gets you all to herself, she doesn't have to live with someone who doesn't want her around and she has an amazing mother who has totally set the bar high when it comes to relationships.

Have a bloody fantastic Christmas in your new place and a wonderful fresh start to 2025 x

Good luck op

Absolutely

Honestly just had a little dance around the kitchen with this update , feel we need a group hug😀
How wonderful will xmas be for op and daughter, Honestly you have done amazingly 👏

You've got this 💖

Oh well done OP. It's a shame when a new relationship ends up like this but it's better for everyone if the bandaid is ripped off quick, even if it hurts like crazy.

You’ve definitely done the right thing. Reading your previous updates it sounds like he wanted a get out anyway, so well done for being the so brave and not letting it drag on. Awesome for your little girl that you are putting her and you first, she’s so tiny she will probably forget all about him soon.

Well done! DD will love getting her new bedroom kitted out I'm sure.

Op, no need in any way to even suggest that you’re a failure. You’re absolutely anything but. It’s so refreshing to see someone with such high standards & self worth. What a great Mum your DD has.

I've just caught up on your previous thread op. I was shocked at how he turned! Promising he'd do the best he could and then suddenly switches personas and he's off😬
So he was just bullshitting🐮 saying whatever he thought would get it over the line for him. Vile man expecting you to tolerate him being deliberately unkind to your wee girl. I would want to rain hell down on him👿

Well done op

Thought I’d get a better night sleep tonight but I’ve been tossing and turning all night. Just woke up to find a message from his aunt on FB asking if she can call me tomorrow. Wtf. Not sure what to say to her but I want to say no!

I would say no.

@haveimadeamistake

I'd message Auntie and say something along the lines of 'things are too 'new and raw' and I'm not ready to talk to anyone'.

You just ignore the message. If feel the need to respond, "I can't talk tomorrow". When you cut ties it's hard and you have every right to take time for you and your DD. You don't have to give reasons why you don't want to talk to people. They will become angry and aggressive and I do agree with PP if you need to response it's something like "I don't want to talk to anyone at the moment, I'll let you know when I do".
Be brave now, focus on your end result and your lovely new rental for you and DD. When he went quietly he is going to bring noise now. This is noise you can navigate through. You honestly can.

Morning OP. I read your other thread just now (thanks insomnia!) in one sitting…I don’t very often post on these kinds of threads but just wanted to say absolutely well done for your swift and decisive action and for putting your daughter first. This is not the mark of a failure, this is the mark of someone who has made a mistake and has taken steps to rectify it which in my books is a winner!
I was considering the timeframe from when you first posted on your other thread to now: less than 2 weeks! And then thinking of the awful posts where someone describes shitty situations they and their kids are living in, everyone posts with sound advice, poster disappears and then months later comes back with a new post about their ongoing shitty situation…I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard to extricate yourself from difficult situations but, as youve shown, it’s not impossible. I think too many women continue in bad situations, often at a high cost to the wellbeing of their children (and of course themselves!) when there are other options (albeit difficult/painful/involve losing face, etc etc) which they could choose.
what a refreshing read on this wet and windy December morning!
wishing you and your daughter all the best for your next chapter 🌲🥰