To think even men in their 80’s are still sex obsessed !!!

[Prettydisgustedactually]

A year ago, a new neighbour moved in next door, he’s 87. When I found out his age, before he moved in, I mentioned to my kids that we must be caring and helpful etc and keep an eye on him.

However, he’s the opposite of what we expected. Drives literally anywhere in his sporty BMW, has an iPhone, on YouTube etc….a very young at heart type. He has an on/off relationship with a woman in her late 60’s but they row lots and she ups and leaves.

Over the summer he asked if he could help me with the garden to keep himself fit. I offered to pay but he wouldn’t accept so I made him lunch on the days he helped. One day my daughter wanted to go in the pool, but because he was there she wouldn’t. I told her not to be silly but she said she felt weird because he’d made some kind of innuendo about me. She couldn’t remember what exactly, as she was shocked he’d said it. I told her she was mistaken as he’s 87.

Then a few weeks later he said “I’d have a go at you if you weren’t married” I’m 56!!! I was so shocked, but pretended I hadn’t heard. The week after he’d changed his car, and when I asked how he was getting on with it he told me it was great and he’d ‘Have to get me on the back seat’ Enlightening me with “I’m a fully functioning man in all areas” and going on to ask me “What do you think of that program Naked attraction?” Urgh…..I wanted to vomit 🤮

This has absolutely disgusted me and made my skin crawl. It’s actually saddened me too, as I really thought he genuinely enjoyed having a chat to me, when actually…I mean WTAF????? Then even worse!! My DD (aged 18) said he’d been all flirty with her after she put his bin out FFS 😡😡😡 What the hell?

At 56 OP, I'm surprised you haven't realised that people don't age on the inside the way they do on the outside. You get your aches and pains, and the view in the mirror is different, but you still find attractive people attractive, and younger people are generally more attractive. The question is how you behave. And why would a man who's been eyeing up and verbally accosting women all his life change in his 80s? That type of man is probably less likely to live into his 80s than someone careful and clean-living, but that obviously doesn't mean all older men are sweet grandpas you can happily leave watching your 18yo in her bikini. Another thing I'd have thought a 56yo would know.

My mum said that her late (and lovely) dh was upset he wasn't able to perform in bed any more, at age 80. For many men, even the non-toxic ones, being good in bed is something they're proud of, a key part of their image of themselves as a man.

As my mums friend said once

"They're like that from 9 -90!"

When my folks moved to another part of the country I went to live with my grandad until I was able to get my own place. I basically lived in my bedroom and only went downstairs when he wasn't around, because I soon discovered that the whole time he was home he was watching hardcore porn on the TV in the living room. He was in his 80s and of course I had no idea he was like that before I lived there. GROSS!

I know an elderly man who pays escorts for sex and companionship.
Taking them on holidays etc

When I was a child, a friend of mine was always on at me to go to the house of an old man who lived locally because he'd give us sweets. My mother absolutely forbade me to go , warning me that he was "a dirty old man"! I didn't fully understand what she meant but the term gave me the heebie-jeebies and of course, I not only never went to his house, I wouldn't speak to him and would run off if we came across him on the street.
This was in the 1960s, so it seems it's not a new thing at all! The term "dirty old man" has been around for a long time and for valid reasons!
I'm very grateful now to my mother for warning me and forbidding me to go near him and am a bit cross with that some people's mothers actually TOLD them to go to these old creeps houses and made them feel they had to endure their horrible comments and behaviours! This is definitely one of those scenarios where girls need to be taught to honour their intuitions about men, of all ages and that we do NOT always have to "be nice" because some people don not deserve it and sometimes, it's even dangerous for us! OP you need to cut contact with that dirty old man now! Tell him in no uncertain terms to stay away from you and your daughter! Ugh!

I absolutely agree with this. Stop sheltering him, pretending you didnt hear, changing the subject etc - you are just emboldening him to harrass other women and think its acceptable. These kind of horrible old perverts need to be put firmly back in their place. "You're not my type. " "Youre far too old for me." "Im not interested and you have offended me with your sexist and pervy approaches." "Back off or Ill scream / tell the street what a horrible old predator you are". "Its only flattering to be approached by a man if youre interested in them. Ive indicated that Im not interested, stop your attentions or you are going over the line into harrassment." Etc etc etc. Dont let them get away with it and fly under the radar as 'a harmless old man'.

Creepy bastard. Ones like that don't change just because they get older.

I'm in my 40s and when I'm out running, I get a lot of creepy comments from men who are 70+. When I was in my 20s I had 70/80 year old men say 'if I was 20 years younger I'd <pervy comment>'.....20 years???, try 50 years and not being a dirty perv. Some men are full of themselves and really think they're irresistible. My daughter is only 15 and looks only 15, yet men aged 30 to elderly look at her. Dirty pervs.

Never tell her your daughter that she's being silly about things like this.

He said "well at least you stood up for yourself, most of the girls that come round here say nothing when I do it to them"

Do women not say anything when a Dirty Old Man hits on them or their dc? I can feel bile rising and would certainly give the perv a loud piece of my mind and then a big swerve.

Dirty old man.

Perverts and pedophiles age the same as everyone else, never assume that old men are all sweet kind grandpa types it's just not true.

I think you owe your daughter an apology and to tell the neighbour straight that his comments are disgusting and unwelcome.

Stop helping him out, don't engage with him anymore, he's crossed a line and you don't have to "be nice" to him. His type will just see that as a green light.

Also if someone gets dementia they may become uninhibited, inappropriate and hyper sexual.

Nothing wrong with that in my opinion - it's very different from unwanted sleazy comments by a next door neighbour.

Nothing wrong with that in my opinion - it's very different from unwanted sleazy comments by a next door neighbour.

You think there's nothing wrong with paying for sex? I'm sure those he pays aren't vulnerable in any way right? Are you kind of those who thinks sex workers are all empowered and stuff? 🤢🤮

It's all men ever think about from puberty to death.

Every day is a school day!

They are in their 20s

I tried OLD for the first time recently aged 58 and had several pretty sleazy messages from men in their 70’s. One in particular got quite abusive and nasty when I politely declined his ‘charming’ offer.

I don’t think there’s an age limit on being a pervert tbh

Oh yes when I did OLD the older they were the more repulsive their initial messages. To massively generalise, older men seem to have less respect for women on OLD as if we are desperate for anything. Younger men are more used to meeting people online and generally I found them more respectful.

87 does not mean they're past it. They might be slower but their interest can certainly still be there

And if they've been pervy when they're younger they'll still be pervy now.

Some of these men have grandchildren. Some of these men will be around for sleepovers. Some of these men will be helpful and volunteer at charities. Some of these men will be high up in organisations. Some of these men will be generous.

My old neighbour used to give me the creeps when I lived at home (going back many years as I'm now in my 50's), with my mum, I always felt someone was watching me in the garden (if I was sat outside or hanging washing out for my mum). I would occasionally see him sat in a chair watching me. He'd stare! And, a kind of uncomfortable stare. I was only a young girl! I told my mum and she must've told my older brother who, one day, was out with me in the garden (although the neighbour couldn't see him). My brother caught him wanking away in his chair!! He went absolutely ballistic (my brother did, with this man). I never went out into the garden again. I left as soon as I could and my mum moved away. It turned out he'd been caught flashing at the paper girl too! The neighbours on the other side were also suspicious (they had 2 younger girls) and moved away.

It gives me the ick just thinking about it!!!!

You can be a perv at any age. 87 doesn’t make him a sweet old man. He’s showing you who he really is. Next time he’s inappropriate tell him. Or back away.

You are so right and I actually feel awful about it! I must be truly innocent/stupid as never for one moment did I think he’d even think anything weird about me, let alone say it. On Friday when I was backing out my car, he tapped on my window and when I opened it he literally put his whole head through until he was a few inches from my face. I actually backed towards passenger seat.
Tonight he was waiting for me to get home from work AGAIN!! and asked me to pop in. I went in (you’ll see why) and he asked if he’d offended me. I’m really not very assertive, but I said “Tbh yes! I didn’t like the comments about having a crack at me snd getting me on the back seat” To my astonishment he replied with “Oh dear I’m sorry! I’d never break up your marriage” I mean gross 🤮 He actually thinks he could then??? I said “ You are 30 years older than me, and yes, it made me very uncomfortable” I quickly made an excuse and left.

Absolutely not dementia! I actually feel quite tearful reading all these messages. Wtaf is wrong with me that I thought it ok for my daughter to get in the pool when he was round? Really feel terrible now!