To think even men in their 80’s are still sex obsessed !!!

[Prettydisgustedactually]

A year ago, a new neighbour moved in next door, he’s 87. When I found out his age, before he moved in, I mentioned to my kids that we must be caring and helpful etc and keep an eye on him.

However, he’s the opposite of what we expected. Drives literally anywhere in his sporty BMW, has an iPhone, on YouTube etc….a very young at heart type. He has an on/off relationship with a woman in her late 60’s but they row lots and she ups and leaves.

Over the summer he asked if he could help me with the garden to keep himself fit. I offered to pay but he wouldn’t accept so I made him lunch on the days he helped. One day my daughter wanted to go in the pool, but because he was there she wouldn’t. I told her not to be silly but she said she felt weird because he’d made some kind of innuendo about me. She couldn’t remember what exactly, as she was shocked he’d said it. I told her she was mistaken as he’s 87.

Then a few weeks later he said “I’d have a go at you if you weren’t married” I’m 56!!! I was so shocked, but pretended I hadn’t heard. The week after he’d changed his car, and when I asked how he was getting on with it he told me it was great and he’d ‘Have to get me on the back seat’ Enlightening me with “I’m a fully functioning man in all areas” and going on to ask me “What do you think of that program Naked attraction?” Urgh…..I wanted to vomit 🤮

This has absolutely disgusted me and made my skin crawl. It’s actually saddened me too, as I really thought he genuinely enjoyed having a chat to me, when actually…I mean WTAF????? Then even worse!! My DD (aged 18) said he’d been all flirty with her after she put his bin out FFS 😡😡😡 What the hell?

Agree with this. Even more sad that you told her she was mistaken when she was absolutely right, trusting some man you barely knew over what your own daughter was telling you.

There are creepy men of all ages I guess. I'd keep well away from that one.

I know NAMALT is an unpopular opinion on here but I don't know all that many men of any age who would say things like that to be honest (whether they are thinking it or not, who knows)

Exactly. Issue here aside from the neighbours actions is OPs naivety and ageist assumptions that all “old” people are sweet and loverly.

Yep, exactly this. Honestly I think it's weirdly ageist of you that you thought you knew his sexual behaviour based on his age.

You do need to put your neighbour in his place, @Prettydisgustedactually. Stop pretending you 'didn't hear' his comments - just tell him 'Wow, that's creepy!' when he's being creepy.

I'd be asking him if he's been checked for dementia, as you've read about how dementia can remove people's inhibitions and he really should have a word with his GP because you've also read there are wonderful drugs now that can slow down the onset and he really should attend to his health before it gets too advanced. And I wouldn't give a flying fuck if he took offence at my suggestion, I'd rather hope he did and gave me and mine a wide berth in future.

LOL YANBU!

I was on a v specific dating site for quite a small niche where women are significantly in the minority. I'm 27, my profile clearly stated I was looking for someone a similar age, for a long term relationship. I'd get 8-10 messages per day from guys 60+ ~ often married! ~ asking to chat and then getting pissed off when I didn't reply!

Well yes. One old bloke asked me 'are.you doing business, my dear?' he was about 85!! That said, he could always have been a perv or the sexual disinhibition could be a sign of dementia. Steer clear but perhaps speak to a family member if you see one.

I think some are. So are some women. It depends on the individual I think.

The mid 80s man I know told me he'd never shag a woman younger than his daughter but he'd love to shag me. I'm younger and I'm 53.

He is constant smut, innuendos, but I put that down to his personality. He's a horny 16yr old in an old man's body.

No excuse. Of course not. But some men are just plain sex obsessed. He also watches Naked Attraction.

Steer clear.

Horrible people don't stop being horrible just because they get older.
But also as people get older they can loose their filter (deliberately or otherwise) so that they start saying whatever enters their heads.
I've seen the nicest people change when dementia sets in, although none became a sex pest.
I would tell your daughter to avoid him but I would also tell him to stop being disgusting anytime he started with you. Also stop him doing your garden.

What he's doing has nothing to do with sex.

I would have said please don't talk to me like that.

Loss of sexual inhibition can also be a stage of dementia.

YABU to generalise from your experience of one man.

There are people who are completely and utterly naïve. It seems that your children have a much better grasp of the reality of your creepy neighbour. I suggest you listen to them much more in future. If somebody is uncomfortable without any seeming cause, it is often their subconscious screaming at them to take care. Your subconscious on the other hand seems completely asleep. Who knows if its some sign of dementia or he was always a grubby pervert? Just keep him out of your garden and your life and if he's that active, he can put his own bins out.

Yes my Gran was embarrassing. She was 86 and went to a hospital appointment where she told the consultant that he had a lovely bottom. 😳 He laughed it off but if it had a been an old man to a young woman it would have been seen (rightly so) as sexual harassment.

“A leopard can't change its spots!

I'm with you, my Gran is 91 and comments in a sexual way about men. Derek Acorah (now dead for several years but she still can watch those ghost programmes he used to be on) is one she recently told me she'd like to be in a dark room with..

And before anyone says dementia, she's not, she's always been like this. She's been widowed three times and the last time was 15 years ago when she was in her 70s and the day after he died she mentioned how she was going to miss him in lots of ways, especially sexually🙄

I've never heard of her making comments in public or being pervy directly to people but she definitely makes sexual comments to people she's close to.

I have an uncle who has always been a total sleaze bag, even (actually, especially) with females who are blood relations, from the time they are about 8 years old. If he lived to 87, would I suddenly be happy for my daughter (or granddaughter if I had one) to be around him?…of course I wouldn’t! Come on, op. Use your head.

I also have an uncle who's a total sleazebag.

He stares at my breasts whenever I have to see him. Thankfully I don't have to see gik much these days.

In my experience, while not all men are like this, just be careful around everyone, including male family members.

It's shocking that we are not even safe in our own families isn't it.

I think being elderly emboldens them. Disgusting creatures. Shame wrinkly old appendages don't drop off after a certain age.

I expect he's always been like this, not something that's come with old age.

I was acquainted with someone from when he was 65 until he died aged nearly 90 and he was the same - everyone used to avoid having direct conversations or just ignored his comments.

The first man I can remember being sexually harrassed by was a neighbour in his 80's who my mum thought was lonely and harmless and she would help with his shopping etc. I was 11.

This isn't about 'men in their 80s', it's about your neighbour being a sex-pest. Most men in their 80s (or of any age) don't pester women like this and keep their sexual thoughts to themselves. His behaviour wouldn't be any more acceptable if he was in his 20s.

What i also hate is adults who think the teenagers are over reacting or being silly.

When I was a teen I stayed with a host family abroad once.

The grandfather in the house , when he was alone with me in the living room, took out his penis and started masturbating himself!

I told people, and i was looked at like I was the problem. I was told " oh he's just old and senile And harmless"

He wasnt even that old! Maybe 70s.

When looking back, I really should have called the police.