To think even men in their 80’s are still sex obsessed !!!

[Prettydisgustedactually]

A year ago, a new neighbour moved in next door, he’s 87. When I found out his age, before he moved in, I mentioned to my kids that we must be caring and helpful etc and keep an eye on him.

However, he’s the opposite of what we expected. Drives literally anywhere in his sporty BMW, has an iPhone, on YouTube etc….a very young at heart type. He has an on/off relationship with a woman in her late 60’s but they row lots and she ups and leaves.

Over the summer he asked if he could help me with the garden to keep himself fit. I offered to pay but he wouldn’t accept so I made him lunch on the days he helped. One day my daughter wanted to go in the pool, but because he was there she wouldn’t. I told her not to be silly but she said she felt weird because he’d made some kind of innuendo about me. She couldn’t remember what exactly, as she was shocked he’d said it. I told her she was mistaken as he’s 87.

Then a few weeks later he said “I’d have a go at you if you weren’t married” I’m 56!!! I was so shocked, but pretended I hadn’t heard. The week after he’d changed his car, and when I asked how he was getting on with it he told me it was great and he’d ‘Have to get me on the back seat’ Enlightening me with “I’m a fully functioning man in all areas” and going on to ask me “What do you think of that program Naked attraction?” Urgh…..I wanted to vomit 🤮

This has absolutely disgusted me and made my skin crawl. It’s actually saddened me too, as I really thought he genuinely enjoyed having a chat to me, when actually…I mean WTAF????? Then even worse!! My DD (aged 18) said he’d been all flirty with her after she put his bin out FFS 😡😡😡 What the hell?

When some men get to a certain age, they get more pervy rather than less. Whether it is the onset of dementia or loosening of inhibitions or playing the little 'ol me card, it is good to stay vigilant and give the creepy old man a swerve, especially with dds.

Yeah, OP, believe your dd when she says she is uncomfortable around him especially in the pool.

This thread is horrible. My 84yo dad lives with me and isn't like this at all, he's gentle, respectful and decent. Sorry to be the NAMALT bore, and of course there are elderly perverts and predators, but the blanket ageism on this thread is very uncomfortable reading

Same! My mother was in a nursing home, and an elderly male patient used to walk in at nighttime and sit on her bed.

She asked for her door to be locked. Bit she was told that they don't do that.

We have to look forward to this lovely behavior in nursing homes too

Theres always one. I don't think anyone on this thread said that all elderly men are like that.

We said there are some men of that age who are like that

My dad isn't like that either but I don't think anyone has said all elderly men are like that. It's more the opposite. OP automatically assumed her neighbour would be sweet because he's old and found that's not the case.

Agree with this. Stop being naive just because he is 87.

Tell him to cut it out, you don’t want to hear any inappropriate comments.

Sounds like your daughter’s instincts are better than yours.

Old men can be paedophiles. ( sexually abusing children as parents feel “ Safe” as they are so old.

They can be a serious danger to children if so minded.

OP said that he gave off a grandfatherly vibe.

I sadly know many people who were abused by their actual grandfather's.

Yuck how horrible. I’d be distancing myself and if he makes another off colour remark give him a piece of your mind.

I had a very elderly man make a lewd remark to me in the supermarket recently. The fucking supermarket! When I I gave him a disgusted look he immediately said ‘oh I was just joking. People can’t take jokes anymore!’ I was fuming.

I’m not kidding, a few years ago a guy in his 70s (at least 20 years older than me) attempted to feel me up on a bus and got really ratty when I made it clear he could fuck off.

That reminds me . I was actually on a bus recently. There had been a long queue to get on the bus .

I got on and sat down.
There was an elderly man in front of Me.

Two young women got on the bus and said "finally we got on".

The elderly man turned to women sitting across the aisle from him and shouted "I've never seen people so happy to get on a bus, it's like when people have an orgasm !!"

We all felt sick

Oh I thought of another instance. I was volunteering in Spain for a week. There were a lot of women in their twenties. Then there were people in their thirties and forties. Then there were two men from Wales in their 70s.

Honestly the two older men were so bad.
They said "we come here to volunteer again and again, just to be near all the lovely young women".

Then we all had to do a presentation. In their presentation they simulated having sex!

The organisation brought us all on a wine tasting day at the end of the week and one of the women said "the wine is lovely, it really leaves a pleasant taste in my throat"

one of the old men said " that's what you said when you were sucking my dick last night! Hahah". He said it quietly enough so the organisers couldn't hear him, but that everyone standing next to him could.

I don't know how they were allowed to volunteer there. They were such creeps. Everyone talked about how creepy they were at dinner.

yeah I’ve met his type, in a wheelchair no less, very swift with the innuendos and perversion. You’re there thinking they’re a sweet old man and then you suddenly realise hang on a minute lol. Sorry you went through this it’s crap as you were so welcoming and treated him as family.

Doesn't surprise me tbh

@Prettydisgustedactually I told her not to be silly... I told her she was mistaken as he’s 87.
Have you had the conversation where you tell her you were wrong and she was right? I assume you don't want to train her to ignore her own survival instinct.

Also, NAMALT and your title strongly suggests that you now think that they are.

You are best advised to stop this man from helping you with your garden, tell him you are on top of it now and thank him for his time. Stop helping him with his dustbins or anything else that may encourage him and generally give him a wide berth. If he tries to initiate a conversation just tell him you are busy/ have a call to make, you may have to do this several times before he gets the message!

I’m surprised you’re surprised really. It’s not like everyone gets to 70 plus and a light goes off in their heads about sex. Loads of elderly people are still interested in sex. His misplaced sexual innuendo is gross, that’s a different thing really but you’re being unreasonable to think that because someone is 87 they lose all interest in sex etc. He probably thought he’d try his luck considering you’re 56 and his last girlfriend was in her 60s…!

There is a lot of truth in the phrase Dirty Old Man.
As said upthread, sex pests dont age out of it.
Im a HCP and see this frequently.

People in any age bracket vary. Not all little old ladies are sweet and kind. Not all toddlers are nightmares, etc.

I think if someone was inclined to be a bit pervy then retirement can make it worse as they don't really need to get on with colleagues and family in the same way, they can spend their lives in a world of tabloids and Facebook and porn imagining women to be all sorts of things.

There are some men of every age like that.

Would it be better or OK if he was 77, 67, 57, 47, 37, 27? Of course not.

Are all men of 87 like that? Of course not.

We all know that 87 year olds can be just as vile as people of any age - and just as varied as people of any age. Astonishingly 87 year olds can be funny, caring, thoughtful, spiteful, selfish or pervy just like all other people.

For context, he grew up in an era when Benny Hill was considered suitable family viewing and it was normal to pay women less than men for doing the same work. We’re pretty lucky all 87 year olds are not like him.

it could be a side effect of his medication

So ONE man in his 80s is a tiresome sex pest.

And you thought that because he was 87, he was going to be vulnerable and need ‘looking after’?

Honestly, I think there’s a lot of ageist naivety about older people. Older people are just younger people who grew old! They’re nice, nasty, generous, vile, vulnerable, predatory, just like everyone else.

I lived in Spain as an au-pair in my teens. Quite a few very old men came onto to me and asked me to have sex. These were men who looked like such sweet old grandpas! The same thing happened when I went on an exchange to Spain as a 14 year old. The granddad of the girl I was staying with got me alone, told me I had a beautiful body and started groping and snogging me!
It made me realise that British old men must feel the same way but just know to keep quiet about their desires.

Exactly. Young and middle-aged tiresome sex pests grow into elderly tiresome sexual pests. Having been alive for 87 years is no guarantee you’ve turned into Sweet Granddad Who Needs A Bit of Help With His Shopping.