To think even men in their 80’s are still sex obsessed !!!

[Prettydisgustedactually]

A year ago, a new neighbour moved in next door, he’s 87. When I found out his age, before he moved in, I mentioned to my kids that we must be caring and helpful etc and keep an eye on him.

However, he’s the opposite of what we expected. Drives literally anywhere in his sporty BMW, has an iPhone, on YouTube etc….a very young at heart type. He has an on/off relationship with a woman in her late 60’s but they row lots and she ups and leaves.

Over the summer he asked if he could help me with the garden to keep himself fit. I offered to pay but he wouldn’t accept so I made him lunch on the days he helped. One day my daughter wanted to go in the pool, but because he was there she wouldn’t. I told her not to be silly but she said she felt weird because he’d made some kind of innuendo about me. She couldn’t remember what exactly, as she was shocked he’d said it. I told her she was mistaken as he’s 87.

Then a few weeks later he said “I’d have a go at you if you weren’t married” I’m 56!!! I was so shocked, but pretended I hadn’t heard. The week after he’d changed his car, and when I asked how he was getting on with it he told me it was great and he’d ‘Have to get me on the back seat’ Enlightening me with “I’m a fully functioning man in all areas” and going on to ask me “What do you think of that program Naked attraction?” Urgh…..I wanted to vomit 🤮

This has absolutely disgusted me and made my skin crawl. It’s actually saddened me too, as I really thought he genuinely enjoyed having a chat to me, when actually…I mean WTAF????? Then even worse!! My DD (aged 18) said he’d been all flirty with her after she put his bin out FFS 😡😡😡 What the hell?

Sounds like Jimmy Savile, steer clear.

Exactly!

Adults put teenagers and children in harms way by saying that these men are "lonely and harmless"

Just because he's old doenst make him lonely and harmless. He's a person like everyone else.

He could be a nice man that's grown old, or he could have been a paedophile when he was young, that has now grown old, amd still likes young girls.

People are individuals.

Age does not make everyone "harmless and lonely".

In my experience of nursing elderly men, those who make vulgar comments as a result of dementia do so loudly and in front of anyone, no inhibitions - as opposed to the OP's neighbour who I doubt says such things in front of her husband, or male neighbours.

You can't just say that everyone who is old is harmless. Bad people are bad people.

Would we have said that jimmy Saville was a harmless old man.

Sadly people did at the time.

Cut any contact. I think sometimes as some people get older they think they can say what they please. Vile

I used to work in a supermarket and an elderly chap came in quite regularly. He was always asking me and the other girls (we were all about 16 or 17 years old) to come and 'visit' him at his house. We never did obviously!

I hope you apologised to your daughter for dismissing her.

This sort of situation requires a man (DH, brother etc.) to go round to his and set him straight that he's not to talk to you or the girls again.

@Roundthemoon

Yes, absolutely. And the worst thing is how accepted it was within the family. My parents would often say, “try to never be on your own with <uncle>” and even “don’t be letting him hug you”. I heard my dad shouting at him “I don’t want you hugging my kids!” once so they were well aware of it.

We've just lost two really good cleaners because 92 year old FIL has made inappropriate sexual comments to them. Apparently, he's always "had an eye for the ladies", in other words he's a dirty, disgusting pervert. He has a lady friend in her 80s and I thought she'd be horrified but she just shrugged it off as if it was just a bit of a joke. The cleaners were very upset and I reported him to social services (I have regular contact with social services for unconnected reasons) and they said it's now a safeguarding issue and we have to warn all carers, cleaners etc about him. I was horrified when I warned his carers and they said they are used to it and that they are subjected to it all the time from elderly men!

An elderly man in the library started chatting with me and my DD in the children’s section. He said she had ‘Come to bed eyes’ and would make some chap very happy.
She was 3.

I saw an old man describe his ten year old granddaughter as "sexy"

He said it in front of the child's mother, and the mother never said anything.

He said "doesn't she look sexy in those glasses!" About a ten year old.

I said "she looks clever in those glases"

Yes, some are and some are not.

Well, yes, it was a bit ageist to assume he was going to be incapable of living his life without help just because of his age. But he sounds like a pest, to be honest. I don't think it's his age, probably his personality. I'm a nurse. Lots of our older patients are nice and respectful towards us. But there are the odd ones who like to push the boundaries. I remember a few years ago, one of them told me he'd get arrested for the dreams he has "about us nurses." He was an older man in his 80s.

My friend works as a home help carer. She said she went round to one old man's house.

He sexually harassed her and patted her bum. She said "don't ever talk to me like that again or ever touch me again".

He said "well at least you stood up for yourself, most of the girls that come round here say nothing when I do it to them"

I now live in Spain. I am early 50s. DD 16.

Spanish old men are honestly vile and the most sexist you can imagine. They also totally disrespect women. Violence against women is a very serious issue here. As soon as divorce was made legal the women all divorced the men.

Me included. They have all discovered onlyfans now.

OBVIOUSLY NOT ALL but it it a big issue

I agree.

I have 2 friends who work as carers, one in an old folks home and one as a home carer. They both have many many tales to tell of old leaches trying to pat their bums, look down their tops, making disgusting remarks.

Some men are just gross sexist pigs their entire lives.

What annoys me, is that we are constantly being told by the media, Age Concern etc to check up on elderly neighbours/family members etc especially during the Winter months, but if you come onto mumsnet and start mentioning people in an age related way eg. assuming they'll need help as they are older, you get accused of being "ageist".

Just this! I don't know why people expect old people to be sweet and nice - they are exactly as they have always been, just older!

My Dad isn't either, and I agree namalt, but I think we have to acknowledge that some are, at ANY age, and no one should be putting teenage girls at risk of their awful behaviour.

You owe your daughter an apology.

Do not ever put up with this nonsense from your neighbour - if not for you, then at least stand up for your child who has TOLD YOU what this old man is all about.

Filthy pervert - of course he's delighted to pop round and do chores. Needs a hosepipe turned on him.

Exactly. Personalities don't change that much as we age (dementia excepted of course)

Needs a hosepipe turned on him.

I'm 20 and I've had 80 year old guys hit on me ("your curves Sian are just TOO distracting"). I know it's not acceptable but it seems to be a fact of life.

I think older men definitely are worse. By old I mean properly old.
Completely generational.

Ageism on MN is more like when a group of 50 somethings were called elderly once!