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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

daughter absolutely devastated after being on end of disgusting game

221 replies

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:43

My daughter is struggling and won't leave the house after being a victim of such an awful game of "who can sleep with the ugliest girl in room" she was completely used by a complete sicko and I am unsure how to get her help so she can't get past this

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 05/09/2024 12:45

Did this happen during school hours? Get onto school if it did . Ask school for help in getting her some counselling. Teenage girls can be Savage to each other at times.

OooSorryDoctor · 05/09/2024 12:46

Your poor daughter, how old is she?

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:47

junebirthdaygirl · 05/09/2024 12:45

Did this happen during school hours? Get onto school if it did . Ask school for help in getting her some counselling. Teenage girls can be Savage to each other at times.

No no she's not at school she's 20

OP posts:
thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:47

OooSorryDoctor · 05/09/2024 12:46

Your poor daughter, how old is she?

20

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 12:50

junebirthdaygirl · 05/09/2024 12:45

Did this happen during school hours? Get onto school if it did . Ask school for help in getting her some counselling. Teenage girls can be Savage to each other at times.

It's young adult men who seem to have been "savage" here...

HappyDane · 05/09/2024 12:51

Oh hell that's really awful. I'm so sorry.

I don't have any advice really (sorry) but just wanted to say I wish her the best and I hope you can get her some help.

Ozanj · 05/09/2024 12:51

Don’t push her to go back. Get names, dates from her, report to the school and the police. Start looking at other schools.

MidwichCuckoo · 05/09/2024 12:52

That's vile OP. How does she know the boys who did this game? What a nasty thing for the boys to have done. Boys can be savage.

Edingril · 05/09/2024 12:52

Ozanj · 05/09/2024 12:51

Don’t push her to go back. Get names, dates from her, report to the school and the police. Start looking at other schools.

For a 20yo?

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:53

MidwichCuckoo · 05/09/2024 12:52

That's vile OP. How does she know the boys who did this game? What a nasty thing for the boys to have done. Boys can be savage.

She met them at a wedding

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 12:53

Was this her friendship group that encouraged this game, is she at university, working?

Divebar2021 · 05/09/2024 12:54

How does she know this? Did someone tell her?

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2024 12:54

Ozanj · 05/09/2024 12:51

Don’t push her to go back. Get names, dates from her, report to the school and the police. Start looking at other schools.

She is 20 so no school.
I am sorry OP, you hope this sort of nonsense stops when they leave school.
If no crime has been committed than all you can do is work ont hings to help rebuild her self esteem

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:54

SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 12:53

Was this her friendship group that encouraged this game, is she at university, working?

She's working

OP posts:
LauderSyme · 05/09/2024 12:54

I am so sorry to hear how your daughter is feeling. Some men are disgusting misogynistic pigs and she does not deserve any of what has happpened to her.

Can you or she afford to access counselling to support her self esteem? Otherwise she could tell her GP that she is suffering with depression and anxiety and ask to be referred to NHS talking therapy or cognitive behavioural therapy services.

Overbearingndn · 05/09/2024 12:54

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:43

My daughter is struggling and won't leave the house after being a victim of such an awful game of "who can sleep with the ugliest girl in room" she was completely used by a complete sicko and I am unsure how to get her help so she can't get past this

I would suggest counselling. Some men are shits, I'm sorry this happened to her.

Smartiepants79 · 05/09/2024 12:55

Where has this happened and how does she know these people?

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:56

Divebar2021 · 05/09/2024 12:54

How does she know this? Did someone tell her?

Yes there was loads of witnesses at the bar afterwards where he was crowned "the winner"

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 12:56

I hope she has some good friends who can bolster her and support her in thinking that these young men are vile and that the issue is with them and not her. Encourage her to do the activities she enjoys. Perhaps some counselling if it seems to be having a long-term impact on her confidence.

thgdd55 · 05/09/2024 12:56

LauderSyme · 05/09/2024 12:54

I am so sorry to hear how your daughter is feeling. Some men are disgusting misogynistic pigs and she does not deserve any of what has happpened to her.

Can you or she afford to access counselling to support her self esteem? Otherwise she could tell her GP that she is suffering with depression and anxiety and ask to be referred to NHS talking therapy or cognitive behavioural therapy services.

Yeah I did sugges speaking to someone but she didn't want to entertain it

OP posts:
LadyQuackBeth · 05/09/2024 12:57

The boys were "playing" this at a wedding and she went home with one - how did she find out it wasn't a standard hook up? If he said it, it could just be him lashing out and making stuff up, it might not have gone any further than that?

Sethera · 05/09/2024 12:57

Is she working or at university/college? There might be a counselling service she can access - most large employers have one, and all universities.

Huge sympathies to your DD - I was the victim of similar cruelties in my young days. She will be able to put it behind her - it will take time, but she will get there.

GCAcademic · 05/09/2024 12:58

junebirthdaygirl · 05/09/2024 12:45

Did this happen during school hours? Get onto school if it did . Ask school for help in getting her some counselling. Teenage girls can be Savage to each other at times.

How on earth did you arrive at blaming women for this?

CeruleanDive · 05/09/2024 12:58

It sounds like a type of sexual abuse? Would she consider a helpline for that?

JumalanTerve · 05/09/2024 12:58

I'm so sorry for your daughter, that's absolutely disgusting