daughter absolutely devastated after being on end of disgusting game

[thgdd55]

My daughter is struggling and won't leave the house after being a victim of such an awful game of "who can sleep with the ugliest girl in room" she was completely used by a complete sicko and I am unsure how to get her help so she can't get past this

It's utterly abhorrent what this woman did but it is not rape-in British law a woman cannot rape a man.

This isn’t ok. One night stands are a thing, it’s perfectly normal, particularly in younger folks. Do not victim blame, this man would have convinced her he was attracted to her, and likely even was.

Please don’t do this, you took it too far. This isn’t rape and it’s not a competition to see who can be the most extreme on this thread.

There is nothing uglier than the souls of all the 'men' involved in this.

This is awful. Your poor daughter ☹️

Reminds me of a bet some guys had at work when I was 16. They bet each other who could be the first to sleep with a girl (same age as me who started the same time). I didn't learn about it til after. Disgusting. I hope your daughter finds a way to move past this and realise they have the problem, not her.

I really hope things correct and that your DD is able to go to the police - sounds like there are many people to be witness

@PattayaDong - bloody hell whixh university did you attend?

Witness to what? With what evidence? Do they have a confession from said man? What's to stop him from countering the accusation with an admission he really liked the girl and it was his friends he was truly deceiving?

As upsetting as the sitaution is for OP daughter this would be a waste of police resource imo.

In practical terms, if your daughter feels up to it the most effective vengeance will be to find whoever knows this man from the wedding party and put the word out about what he did and that your daughter is speaking to the police about coercive sex/sexual assault by lack of informed consent. Even if it would not go anywhere legally this will put the fear of God into the scumbag in question

Sorry OP I'm trying to PM but can't? Could you message me? My hubby had a good idea

Yes - I was going to ask where and when? Blimey!

I mixed with all kinds of people at university (rugby lot, medics/dentists - known for their 'sense of humour') but never came across any neanderthals like OP describes. Sorry - that's unfair on neanderthals.

That was a long time ago, and I'm guessing university students are sometimes from a wider demographic than when I was there. But I'm shocked that such cruelty, stupidity and immaturity is seen as normal. It definitely shouldn't be.

I’m so sorry for your poor dd, some men are vile. It says so much more about them than it does about your dd. Could you look into counselling as others have advised?

With respect, I think a lot of these posts suggesting a threat of legal action are misguided. This behavior is morally disgusting but it's not illegal and it is moving into seriously murky ground when we talk about deception.

I would agree that their behavior should be exposed and these guys should know what people think of them - assuming OP and the couple's wider friends and family are decent enough to be equally outraged. Adding non-existent legal threats just risks distraction from the main point and invites a debate about the legality of the issue rather than keep the message clear; you have done something we find morally reprehensible and your behavior has no place in our lives. That's all you can do.

Beyond consequences, all the OP can do here is to support her daughter to move on from this and rebuild her self esteem.

I probably wasn't clear - I don't think the behaviour is illegal and legal action wouldn't go anywhere, but I'd imagine the man wouldn't know this, and it being mentioned would cause him a few sleepless nights

Doesn’t make it right.

But surely the man could argue it was concensual?

It wasn't consensual under those conditions, though, was it?

OMG 😢. Your poor girl.

I wish they fall and break their necks.

For now you can only love and encourage her until she's ready to get external support 💐.

PattayaDong · Today 14:21
I do think there are a lot of people on here who lived very sheltered lives. Did none of you go to uni?? Back in the 90s in my halls of residence in the first year the lads devised a points chart and as disgusting as it sounds, many of the girls partook. Every holes a goal, goals mean points, points mean prizes. It was something like 5 points for manual labour, 10 for oral, 20 for sex and 30 for anal, or something like that. At the end of the year a winner was crowned, and many people were points orientated.

But didn't any of you complain? Inform the Halls managers? Tell a counsellor or a chaplain? I'm certainly shocked - and proud to be so. Did you all just go along with it?

I cannot believe the whole population of a HoR would just be OK with this, even in the 90s.

OP hasn't said her daughter was forced to have sex against her wishes. It was consensual. She's upset at how he behaved afterwards. That doesn't mean she didn't consent at the time