To be suspicious of DH .. CONT..

[JustMissNobody]

Hi all,
thank you for your replies, hints and tips. I’ve read them all and made notes. I’m doing ok at the moment, a bit anxious about solicitors app shortly. Had loads of work to catch up today, my heads been a bit foggy and not been able to focus fully.
managed to actually get a good nights sleep last night. Got in bed with a glass of wine and started reading your replies and just woke up this morning with my phone next to me. I don’t know what I’ve been running on but whatever it was must have run out last night!
To answer a few ppl we have 3 DD. 1 completely on dads side, 1 on the fence but thinks I’m acting a bit crazy and need to wait till dh is home to talk and if there is OW then agrees its over, 1 totally thinks he’s been an absolute arsehole and his actions are completely indefensible.
I’ve made a list of questions as suggested here and got all my paperwork together.
ive also found out that his family have been concerned about changes in his character for a while and suspicious of his behaviour and been asking him if he’s ok but he’s just been snappy with them and been avoiding them.
so maybe MH related or aware that his actions will disappoint his family breaking up a marriage of all these years for OW?

Also, sorry if this shouldn’t be in AIBU anymore, if an admin would like to move it elsewhere? x

how did you find that out?

Why is your DD with your father on this?

She’s always been the one who’s been closest to her dad? I really don’t know

A conversation I’ve had today

It may be better on the Relationships board?

@JustMissNobody I have reported your OP to MNHQ and asked them if they would move it to Relationships for you

when are you seeing your solicitor?

what is home life like on a day to day basis atm with this warring factions?

Have you heard from ‘d’h?

I'm very invested in this on your behalf. My hope is he is being scammed by some "beautiful woman" picture who wants him to meet her and won't turn up, and has bled him dry. But only if it didn't leave you in a bad position.

Thinking of you, good luck with solicitor.

Thank you will find the it when I get back. Need to leave now. Started shaking now!!!
@Lifeisapeach Not heard anything from h since he left

Is there a link for the previous thread?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5144610-to-be-suspicious-about-dh?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Good luck OP, thinking of you today.

Sounds like a mid-life crisis but nevertheless utterly disrespectful towards you, and not something that can be easily forgiven.

I'd absolutely make sure you're going away the day he gets back to give yourself some more space and not have to be in the house with him.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5144610-to-be-suspicious-about-dh?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I hope that works??

@JustMissNobody what is in the list of questions?

Best of luck at the appointment OP

Thanks!

Good luck OP. This is absolutely awful. I could not go back from something like this either.

ive also found out that his family have been concerned about changes in his character for a while and suspicious of his behaviour and been asking him if he’s ok but he’s just been snappy with them and been avoiding them.
so maybe MH related or aware that his actions will disappoint his family breaking up a marriage of all these years for OW?

When I read your previous thread, I remember thinking that to me, his behaviour actually sounded a lot more like a man having some sort of mental health breakdown than a man having an affair. Just the sheer strangeness of it all did not scream 'OW' to me.

Although of course it's possible that it's actually a mental health breakdown and an affair, I suppose. But I don't think it's solely an affair; his whole behaviour around this has been so, so weird.

Whatever the outcome of this turns out to be, I really feel for you. Having the rug just pulled out from under your feet like that, with such a sudden change in a loved one's behaviour and no explanation, is an awful thing to experience.

Do you think there's any chance that the DD who has taken his side might actually know something more than she's letting on? Could he have confided something in her and sworn her to secrecy?

Fingers crossed that you get some answers one way or another, so at least you know what's happening and where you stand. You've been amazingly strong through all this.

Good luck with solicitors OP. Interesting that his family had noticed some changes. I wonder why this didn't mention this to you sooner.

Hope it all goes ok this afternoon. Have you opened his car yet?

I usually think it’s another woman but small chance he could be in trouble somehow - with his business?

Good luck at the solicitors. I'm really pleased to hear your other daughters are being more measured.