Dating a non-homeowner

[Sunnydays1974]

I've been dating the most lovely person for around 4 weeks or so. They work for themself and seem to be doing well.

However they rent their current property as they cannot afford to buy.

Should this be a red flag in terms of financial security, especially if things develop between us? How can I judge their financial stability?

i work in a full time respectable job. I’m kind, funny, generous and loyal. I rent my house. I’m not undeserving of love because of this.

Uh oh, OP. No, it should not be a red flag, as long as their rent is not £50 per week to their mummy.

🙄

Thank you.

Thanks...no they don't!

Why are you calling this singular person they? And is themself even a word?

It is a word, yes.

Wow, just when I thought I'd seen it all on here.

Is this person good enough for me, I'm not sure because they are a RENTER!

That’s not relevant to the OPs question

It wouldn’t be a red flag for me.

The only problem would be if you got married to themself. And you've only been seeing it for 4 weeks! Much too early to start worrying about finances.

When I dated my exDH I owned a flat, he didn't own a home. I couldn't have cared less.

Fast forward 20 odd years, he owns a flat, I rent and will for the rest of my life. I don't think either of us has become some other type of person since our change in circumstances. I don't get this obsession with finances I see on MN

That's not what I'm asking and you probably know that...

My rent is more than a mortgage. If I could save a deposit or had rich parents to help, I would be a homeowner.

I don't imagine many people would find your snobbiness about renting attractive.

OP, assuming your question is real, I suppose the main warning would be to be aware of any signs of the person gradually moving into your mortgaged property when you don't even want them to. You've obviously read all of the stories on Mumsnet where this has happened and gone wrong.

If they can afford to rent, they're probably financially better off than me. I could not afford to pay rent. My mortgage is half what the rent in our area is.

If they're renting alone, they must be earning a good amount.

The problem with renting is, it's so extortionate that it's difficult to save to build up a deposit.

It wouldn't be a red flag to me.

Oh dear. Surely the main thing is whether they are kind, honest and reliable, no matter what their financial situation?

When I met my DP his finances and health were in a bit of a mess. He didn’t have a permanent job or a mortgage. But he was - is - just the best man I’ve ever met!

You’d miss out on some great potential partners…obviously I’m biased, but DC2 has a good job, is paid over 45k, but can’t save enough renting by himself to get a deposit for a mortgage yet. If he shared rent with someone, he’d have enough money to buy somewhere in a year or so, maybe with a partner. He’s lovely, kind, witty respectful and responsible, will make someone a great partner.
How have you funded your own purchase, OP?

It's probably because their self employed (someone who knows more than me will correct me though!), but nah unless like an above poster it's 50 to their parents. Different lifestyles suit renting and it's harder if your self-employed/they might have invested in their company instead and decided renting was better for them lifestyle wise! (also will be easier if yous do carry on, none whose house are we selling :) )

Do you own property? If not, I don't understand why this bothers you.

Exactly. Judging the man like this is awful. I would run for the hills if I were him.

If this relationship lasts, and you choose to move in together, you may want to think about how you protect your assets. For example, you can have a solicitor draw up a deed of trust.

Lots of men and women rent who are single why would it be a red flag, I am starting to think every single thing is a red flag these days

I think it depends on your respective ages. If you are 22 and 24, then no.
If you are 52 and 54 then maybe I would wonder.

Should have been a red flag for me.