Dating a non-homeowner

[Sunnydays1974]

I've been dating the most lovely person for around 4 weeks or so. They work for themself and seem to be doing well.

However they rent their current property as they cannot afford to buy.

Should this be a red flag in terms of financial security, especially if things develop between us? How can I judge their financial stability?

Yes until divorce along. I haven't asked many questions yet, although is something I need to consider now even at an early stage, hence my original post which I keep referring back to.

The last few posts have been a lot more informative and considered and less knee jerk than the early responses, which I appreciate.

I have to say I know a lot of divorced people in their 50’s - me included - who did have a property but now rent for various reasons. Its not easy to get a mortgage at this age as the term to repay means monthly repayments are huge.

As I said upthread, I rent but I’ve got a 6 figure sum invested until I decide what’s the best way forward for me.

Because you missed a key part of the information in your initial post - his age.

Her user name does make it rather obvious, as noted upthread.

I dont want to be with a poorer man than me so unless this is a fabulous flat in a country where the culture is to rent as the norm then no. I own in England, im not going long distance so he would be in England too and homeowner. I would never date a man poorer, financial status and security are very important to me.

We have to guess users new partners ages from their usernames now?! Loads of people asked and the OP just kept ignoring the question until 8 pages in.

You're acting like it's not completely, glaringly obvious that someone with 1974 in their username is 50 (or about to be) and likely to be dating in their age range?

And if that wasn't straightforward enough for you, I'd pointed it out earlier in the thread, way before you started asking OP.

I know not everyone RTFT and spends much time thinking about what has already been revealed and that's fair enough, your choice, but it's a bit unreasonable to then get testy at everyone for not repeating stuff for your benefit.

Same here.

Get over yourself. There is a ton of reasons why someone might rent.

Wow. Tell me you're stuck up without telling me you're stuck up!!

Hi OP in my experience it is much easier if you are coming for a similar sort of position but obviously that is not always possible. If the two situations are different I would just move really slowly because character is the most important thing with someone and you will need time to understand this fully. You have a lot more to lose if it doesn't work out xx

I know two men who are on six figure salaries and rent because it is easiest right now. So salary has absolutely nothing to do with it.

If it wasn't for a complete chance of luck I would be renting instead of owning my flat after my divorce/separation. Wouldn't make me any less of a person, I feel bad enough for being divorced/separated without the added judgement of living in rented.

Agree. As I’ve said I’ve got a six figure sum in the bank after my ex bought me out but I’m renting for a couple of years while I decide what I want to do longer term.

If anyone judges me on that they can eff off - they’re not my sort of person anyway.

We’re all entitled to dealbreakers that are invariably going to be considered unfair and unreasonable to someone somewhere. That’s just life.

I would rather have a caring partner. I wouldn't want to put out in a black bag if I was no longer able to bring in enough money through say, dementia.

It not an either/or though, is it?

Hi there. I understand that very well. But i’m entitled to my opinion. I understand about disability infact i’m autistic myself. Yeah whatever you said, i just wanna say i’m aware of the market and the situation nowadays, but still i’m entitled to my opinion. I wouldn’t date a renter 😊😊