DS super opportunity, super early start. Would you go the night before?

[Teenson]

Son, 16, got a chance for a week away doing some very cool but demanding stuff, sort of a maths academy .
We’ll have to leave the house at 6 on Monday for a lot of train journeys to get there at 8.45.
i thought if we got there the night before and stayed in a premier inn, son would be awake and refreshed the next day. DH can’t come as planned as he now has to be in work. He is not keen for DS and I to to go to a hotel without him, thinks it’s ok for us to go in the morning. He says DS leaving the house at 6 isn’t that much earlier than leaving at his usual 7.45 for school. I’m anxious about trains, being late and DS getting there tired and flustered. I’d like to leave the afternoon before and have a relaxed evening and early night, I don’t know if I’m being silly, wwyd ?

YANBU, why doesn’t your husband want you to go to a hotel without him?

I’d do whatever I want to do and would not let my DH dictate to me.

My DS always had his own hotel room from 15 years onwards too. We booked 2 rooms.

Why doesn't your DH want you and your DS to stay in a hotel without him?

Go to the hotel obvs. Your DH is weird.

I think you should do exactly what you want to do. Why does DH get the overall say on your plans?
These times away can be precious with teenage children. Your husband truly does not have the right to veto something like this.

Your h is being weird and controlling. He should want you to do whatever is easiest for you.

Just get a twin room at a Premier Inn & ignore the controlling DH. Sounds like a great opportunity!

How do people function in real life.....

Hotel for sure

Ignore your DH, why wouldn’t he want you at a hotel without him?!

I would book the hotel for sure.

I don’t sleep very well away from home so I would go with the early start but I would not be told what to do like that.

Suit yourself and your son.

Yes your husband is being weird. Staying in a hotel makes sense and will be much nicer. If he wants to get up at 6am and take him then he can- you are going so you choose

Team hotel!

This sounds like a great opportunity for your son. You want him to be fresh and unstressed.

I don’t like the sound of your husband. He’s either a control freak or tight and selfish so doesn’t like money going on things he isn’t participating in.

What on earth.

Your husband is either jealous he's not getting a hotel stay or he's a very strange man implying very weird things either way you should tell him to bog off and book a hotel room.

I would bet on it being because of the money!
Go for the hotel OP and enjoy the experience.

You don't need your husbands permission to stay in a hotel with your son, if that's what you'd feel comfortable with then do it.

A 6am start isn't outrageous but i understand you don't want the stress. Ultimately do whatever you and your son feel
is best

I don’t think that’s a really early start but the reliance on trains would worry me in case it means a cancellation makes you late.

It’s very odd that your husband doesn’t like you staying in a hotel without him. What’s his concern?

Personally I'd prefer to do the early start, but if you'd rather stay in a hotel, that should be your choice not DH's (possibly exception been if money is very tight and the cost of hotel will massively impact the family budget)

Go the night before and get there refreshed .

Exactly my thought. Unless finances are very tight I can’t see the problem.

If DHs reason for objecting to the hotel was that you couldn't as a family afford it and/or felt it was unnecessary then I'd maybe see his point.

However the way youve worded your post about him not wanting you to stay in a hotel without him is really strange.

Why does he have an issue with that?

Its normal to do this sort of thing. Would've even be a question in my house. Do you never go away separately?
I stay in a hotel with one of my dc every few months just us two. She is a competitive athlete who competes all over the world. We often see how far it is and what time we would need to set off and if it's going to be a pain we get a hotel. Don't see what the problem is here.

Gosh what a lot of replies, so quickly! Thank you.
You mentioned money, hcbSS it’s only because I’m thinking about this thread that I notice that yesterday DH was all, ‘you need to earn more’, then 10 minutes later, it was ‘let’s get a 50 quid takeaway’ Now it’s all, ’you won’t get a hotel, there’ll be nowhere to park etc etc’
he is exhausted with stress and work, and of course he’d like to be taking DS. I find myself unable to make a decision. I don’t want to upset him, I do want DS to have the best chance.
StSwithinsDay · Today 23:06
How do people function in real life.....
what do you mean?
thanks!

Don't see the issue of staying without your husband but equally at 16 i don't understand why you are taking him, can't he take trains himself? My dd was travelling 200 miles at that age alone (military)

I thought to combine dropping DS off with a weekend away, DH is just fed up as he has suddenly got another work deadline, so can’t.
id be happy for DS to go alone, just not for this.
Thanks, I think DS does tend to talk me out of taking DS anywhere, not that he’d particularly want to go away with his mum. 😁
just find stuff like this ridiculously anxious making.