How many women and men on here have been hit or physically attacked by their partner?

[Nylla]

How many women and men on here have been hit or physically attacked by their partner?

Recently I thought my husband was about to hit me (he was red and angry and raised his fist), but he didn't. I was wondering how common it is. I have seen it in films, but of course have never seen it in someone else's house (and my childhood home was peaceful).

You never know what goes on in other people's homes, so I guess it's quite hard to know for sure.

Yep, more than once. No longer a partner now

Never.

I’m a bloke and I have been hit

Yes, on one occasion (hit and kicked me). Short-term boyfriend, and that was the end of it.

He hasn't used his fists but he has deliberately barged me out of the way sending me into walls or doors. Does that count?

My husband threw a full, unopened, can of coke at me once when he was angry at me. Just missed my head because I ducked. Apart from that the only other physical thing he's done is hit me with a tea towel, so didn't have much affect. Lots of verbal, emotional and financial abuse over the years though.

Yep, hit and attacked by 2 ex partners.

My ex became violent when we were expecting DS. Its surprisingly common and doesn't conform to most of the stereotypes either. Some "nice" men (and women too) are abusive in the home.

No, never.

My ex used to be pretty handsy. His behaviour, as it always does, escalated over the course of our relationship (approx 2.5 years), started with punching walls then a shove here and there, then grabbing and dragging me by my hair, punching me in the side of the head so hard, my ears rang for ages, pinning me down with his forearm on my neck … I think if I’d have stayed, he’d probably have killed me. I’m not small, 5’8 but he was over 6’ and a rugby player, I stood no chance. I was following a pattern, my dad used to hit me and so did my stepdad so it’s all I knew really. Glad I broke that cycle.
He used to hit the girlfriend before me (not that I believed it at the time 🤦🏼‍♀️) and the girlfriend after too.

I’m in the huge percentage of people whose long term partner turned while they were pregnant.

The statistic is terrifying. I won’t inflict it on anyone, google at your own risk

On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales.

https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/the-facts/

I have experience violence in a relationship. I had things thrown at me, I've been hit, punched and was badly injured by him. It took me a few goes to leave him.

My first boyfriend when I was 16-19 was violent often.

I'm never putting up with it again.

Yes.

I'm a bit of a stats nerd so once it happened to me I wanted to know.

No references because I can't remember which book I read it in but a researcher was looking for happily married couples to use as a contrast to the abusive ones he was working with.

So he tried to find some. In the end he had to specify that they had to be "happily married" and no violence as a large majority of the happily married couples reported at least one incident of violence.

No, never. Neither did my dad, my uncle or my grandfather. Neither does my brother.

If anyone raised thrir fist at me, I would be gone. If DH raised his fist at me, my Dad would go ballistic.

The daughter of friends of PIL was in an abusive relationship, but wouldn’t leave him. Kept making excuses - until he smashed all the presents her family had given them, but none of his. Once she left him, her Dad beat the crap out of him, and shoved him through his parents’ front door after telling them what their son had done.

Yes - hands around my throat once, held against walls numerous times (left deep bruises on my upper arms), the better to shout in my face, a dress i was wearing torn when he grabbed me to shout in my face, full nappy thrown at me one time, and one slap in the face.

Never

Hit by ex partner. Horrendous time of my life. 1st lockdown.

Never. He’s never even raised his voice to me, or sworn at me.

I'm female and have never experienced violence in a relationship. I have been with DH since university though so not a lot of different relationships to compare.

OP, it is not acceptable that your husband raised his fist to you. That in itself is a form of violence, it’s an implied threat.

Raped by an exp and gaslit into believing I had wanted it really, but never hit or punched.

Never.

Yes it does.

Mine used to square up to me if we met coming around a corner in the house. Arms out from his sides, fists clenched, leaning forward, angry expression on his face.