How many women and men on here have been hit or physically attacked by their partner?

[Nylla]

How many women and men on here have been hit or physically attacked by their partner?

Recently I thought my husband was about to hit me (he was red and angry and raised his fist), but he didn't. I was wondering how common it is. I have seen it in films, but of course have never seen it in someone else's house (and my childhood home was peaceful).

You never know what goes on in other people's homes, so I guess it's quite hard to know for sure.

No, luckily, although i did have an ex who used to behave violently in front of me...punching walls, smashing the TV and was very controlling and coercive.
I put up with that for way too long.
His best mate was 'on tag' (and on drugs) and used to beat his girlfriend up.I saw her with a nasty bruise and told her she needed to tell someone and get out the relationship (naive maybe, but I was young and not used to such things) sadly I don't think she ever did.I told the ex of my disgust of it and he was very nonchalant....which made me think that when his ex messaged me saying he used to hit her (although he had told me the opposite) I did wonder.
I have a couple of close friends that have been in physically abusive relationships before though....one was dragged up the stairs by her hair, the other pinned up against a wall by her throat.Luckily they both had the strength to leave and are now with different, much nicer partners.
I didn't know until afterwards, as is often the way.

Me, he once beat me up but we're divorced now.

Not punched but was thrown across the room a few times and had a bottle of wine poured over me while in bed.

Me, by my first husband.
It was awful. It went on for so long.

Not punched but pushed into my babies cot and had a pair of jeans thrown at the back of my head so hard that the button cut the back of my head. Also verbal screaming in my face

No, I quite agree- people who are being hit by their partner are often being gaslit as well and will still think everything is their fault, or that they can behave differently to avoid it happening again. I was just talking really about how I felt at the time- it wasn’t rational, I see that now. I was 16 when I met him and with him till I was 19 and really not mature.

Never. They’d have got it back in spades if they’d tried, I tell you.

Also never (but I was a late starter at relationships and in my late 40s am 7 years into my one and only relationship) and I also wonder what goes on behind closed doors, and which of the men I know (colleagues and friends) who seem perfectly nice, are in actual fact abusers.

Verbal abuse for 10 years which is just as bad. His gone of course

I have, twice by ex husband, first time he picked me up and threw me onto the ground and hit my face, second time he head butted me

There was no third time because I left the bastard and always knew if he did it again I’d report him to the police

Yes I was punched and hit in a relationship long ago and thankfully I escaped this situation. Don't even ask about the police response to me reporting this !!

Thankfully I've had happy, loving relationships since.

I was badly beaten up by a boyfriend ( many years ago). I reported him to the police and he was taken to court, got a minimal fine because he pleaded guilty. Turns out it wasn't the first time he'd beaten up a woman.
I was and (still am, 35 years later) still traumatised by it. It was very scary.

These responses are infuriating.

No, you can't 'tell us'. No-one thinks they'll put up with physical violence. But like all abuse, it happens due to a power imbalance, and it's amazing how hard it is to escape or address.

Unless you've been there, you don't know how you'd react.

Attacked by both ex husbands. First mainly threw things, but once started kicking a bin that I was bent over putting a new bag in (I’d complained that he hadn’t done it as promised), also frequently put his hand round my throat if I annoyed him.

Second liked punching holes in doors and walls. Nearly broke all the way through the bathroom door when I locked myself in there frightened. Broke my favourite things. Pinned me on the floor with his arm across my throat/chest once and roared abuse in my face. Lots of coercive emotional abuse too, I lost a lot of friends.

Also childhood abuse, sexual, emotional, occasional minor physical. NC with one parent, low contact with other family members.

Happily single now, with a primary age child, would take a lot for me to get back into a relationship.

Wow this is such an insensitive comment.

ExH was abusive, but not physically. My partner before him pinned me to the bed by putting his hands around my neck. That left marks and I ended the relationship. Unsurprisingly, I have decided to stay single now.

My exH physically assaulted me rarely & towards the end of a long period of emotional abuse & coercive control.

Truthfully? I felt something like relief, as now I had something that I could tangibly address as an issue, whereas he'd gaslighted me about all the other abuse to make it out that it was me, and my failings.

One of the worst nights, he had tormented me for hours, mocking, belittling & laughing at me, refusing to discuss any of the really urgent matters I was raising (like our acute lack of money due to his spending & the utter terror I felt). I became so distraught, I actually passed out. Just collapsed and lost consciousness briefly. (He hasn't touched me physically).

I came to after a few minutes to find him standing over me laughing at me. I realised that when I'd fainted I'd hit my head & I'd a big bruise & blood, already. He laughed at my stupidity for 'doing that to myself'.

And that was without even touching me.

A few days later he threw a chair at me and if hit me & I thought 'ok, at least this is straightforward abuse'. And yet, even after I was finally able to end it, I felt responsible - I had pushed him, annoyed him, wouldn't let stuff go. I knew I wasn't in the wrong about the issues I was raising but I genuinely felt I nagged him & 'caused' it.

Never in nearly 40 years together

Ex boyfriend broke my ribs.

My ex was abusive but only attacked me physically the once. He threw something hard at me and I bloody threw it back, upset and furious. He mostly stuck with more subtle means of control and punching holes in things rather than me and I stuck around for far too much of it.

Never. The only time I was was ever threatened was by an ex when I was 17 and I was told that I wouldn't make it home.

Reader, I made it home in one piece.

@newyearsresolurion, me too. He didn't need to hit me. Gaslit me, told me how everyone said I always shouted, my DM had said I only ever spoke about my job, I could go on. He never took any responsibility for anything, so if anything ever went wrong, from a problem with a holiday, to a takeaway bringing the wrong order, it was always my fault. He also raped me in my sleep when I had told him I wanted him to leave, but we were still sharing that same bed (for the sake of the children - god I was a fool).
I've never had a relationship since - it would take a very special kind of man to earn my trust in an emotional relationship again.

I know someone whose partner had never raised to her beat her up on their wedding night. She left him and subsequently discovered he had also followed the same pattern with his first wife.

Not been hit, just grabbed around the arms and pushed across the room

Yes. Choked one time and then pulled to the ground and had my head twisted. He's a disgusting man.