How many women and men on here have been hit or physically attacked by their partner?

[Nylla]

How many women and men on here have been hit or physically attacked by their partner?

Recently I thought my husband was about to hit me (he was red and angry and raised his fist), but he didn't. I was wondering how common it is. I have seen it in films, but of course have never seen it in someone else's house (and my childhood home was peaceful).

You never know what goes on in other people's homes, so I guess it's quite hard to know for sure.

Yes. I’d grown up seeing it so I didn’t leave until it had escalated. He an ex now. Current husband has never so much as raised his voice in 20 years. I deserve a man like that. You deserve it too OP.

Nope never. Not even come close.

Not punched. Shoved, pushed, pinched, slapped pinned against a wall by my throat. Sometimes it would happen and id say stop that and get out of my face over and over wouldnt listen so I’d bite back and physically push him away from me grabbing whatever part of his body my hands would make contact with. He would then react by filming me and my irrational behaviour because by this point I’d be screaming at him. Then when things would settle he would only want to talk about what I did.

i recognised he was abusive and I told him, he turned it all back on me that I’m the abuser. This is all very recent and very fresh for me. I have a counselling appointment in a week because I still question myself that I am the worst person and I shouldn’t have done it. I know I shouldn’t but when you are pushed time and time over and you say to get away from me and they continue you just kind of feel that if I don’t show I will fight back this won’t stop. I couldn’t leave the house as it was my house.

i think I will be recovering from this for a long time to come and it will take a lot of time to believe I am not a monster.

Ex did , hence he's an ex.

Never saw it at all growing up.
But yes, it has happened to me……I thought ‘seeing stars’ was just a saying.

Yes.

Moving to violence was the cherry on the cake after the controlling, isolation and emotional abuse.

My ex husband battered and strangled me. I also had a boyfriend many years ago in my early twenties, who hit me on a couple of occasions.

My goodness, me too, same age, 16 to 19. He was 3 years older, lovely at first then turned abusive as time progressed. I swore never again - was quite a learning curve at a young age!

Never. And if any man ever did, they’d only do it once.

I've been very lucky, and never experienced any violence from anyone I've been in a relationship with, and likewise I have never been violent (physically or verbally). It wasn't something I witnessed at home (although my parents relationship is far from ideal) and it wasn't a feature of my husband's childhood (his parents seperated when he was very young). I hope my daughter's are lucky enough to choose partners who are gentle and kind to them.

No, never.

Yes, at 19 with my first serious boyfriend. Moved in with him in his flat quite early on in the relationship and the coercive, isolating behaviour started then. Almost broke my jaw at one point. Awful, traumatic three years of my life.

Not punched but I've been thrown about.

And sadly as many others, experienced during pregnancy.

Yes, when I was 25, my boyfriend of a few months pushed me around roughly and tried to drag me. I called the police who came relatively quickly and took him to his dad's house. I then broke up with him. When I went to the police to report him destroying the mailbox outside my rented home, they had lost the record of the attack and said it was because it happened on the last day of the month (it was about 7pm so not office hours but not the middle of the night) and 'that always happens' when they roll over the records to the next month. Absolute bullshit.

A few years later I was married and saw via Facebook he had tattooed his girlfriend's name in HUGE thick Gothic script down his whole arm. Obviously she quickly left him as he is an idiot. He still has the tattoo (yes I do check Fb from time to time and laugh).

I had this attitude and opinion and I’m strong woman. Abusers do something I can’t describe it’s like you have moments of clarity and your like hell to fucking no then they almost drug you and your senses thoughts and feelings are paralysed and you’re right back in and when it happens again you tell yourself.. never again. It’s a really hard cycle to break. I’m not easily offended but thought I’d just point out, abuse is not a clear cut one time thing. It’s often a slow process and a lot of science behind how the mind reacts to it and almost becomes addicted to the cycle

Yes he also strangled me thought he was going to kill me but I've never told anyone irl so you wouldn't know how common it is because people don't tell you.

I agree with your post, @EG94

Same. I was bitten and had things thrown at me.

No never. I had a 23 year relationship that ended amicably and I’ve had 3 other LTR’s (2,4 and 3 years) and none of them ever raised a hand to me.

I was

I was hit by a boyfriend when I was 18. My mum asked me what I'd done to deserve it and told me to be careful because the next time he might dump me. He didn't have chance; I dumped him.

My exh never laid a finger in me but was physically threatening on occasion. I didn't leave him for reasons that don't make sense now and I should have.

Since then, I've not dated anyone who even gave the slightest hint of uncontrolled anger or violence. My partner doesn't even raise his voice.

I hope you’re ok OP and know that it is not ok for your husband to raise his fist at you in a threatening manner.

I have never been hit by anybody but my first boyfriend was a bully. His specialities were psychological abuse and sexual coercion. He was rough with me. Pushed me a few times, and kicked me under a table once when I was saying something in company that he didn’t like. But he never hit me. He had hit the girlfriend he was with before me though.

It’s hard to say this sensitively on a thread full of people who have been subjected to horrendous physical abuse, so I apologise if this is offensive, but at the time I sometimes wished he would just hit me. In my broken mind, I thought at least it would be less confusing than the gaslighting, mocking and humiliation.

Yes by my ex husband. He once asked me what the caused the constant bruise on my arm and looked shocked when I told him it was himself that had caused it by hitting me there most days for whatever I'd said wrong that day

That's awful, OP. For me, one ex boyfriend pushed me on the floor. Another grabbed me and threw me. The second incident was much worse and was the culmination of month of steadily worsening emotional abuse. Fortunately I am now with a deeply kind and loving man.

Never, and neither did I grow up seeing it. An ex raised his hand to me once, and I knew in that second I would have to leave him. It took a few more months and he wasn't ever aggressive again, but it was over from then.