Car in his name? Am I doing right thing - possibly dv

[Feelingalone35]

Hi I’ll try and keep it short
We are buying a used car which is 16k
He hasn’t been good with money ( no savings ) and is putting 5k in his parents gave. I’m paying the rest from my savings I had before meeting him , it will clear my savings . He wants the car in his name as said it’s cheaper I’m wondering if I can be the keeper and he be the main driver ( to get the cheaper insurance he wants) I’m just having doubts about this , I’ve agreed to put it all in his name but the last week he’s been horrible to me calling me a c*nt etc it’s a regular occurrence of being mean then the next day it’s like nothing happened it’s been going on years .
my main question is about the car as we are purchasing it this week and I’m scared I’ll lose all my savings and have no legal say on the car. So what should I do ? If he agrees , I can be the legal keeper and him the main driver would that be ok and give me more security in the future ? Thank you

Why would you pay £11k and have it in his name? You have no right to it. Also why put up with being called names? I wouldn’t buy a car with him, but buy one for yourself and take him straight to Dumpsville in it.

Also why does he need to agree? It’s mostly your money (none of it is his), I would not be financially tied to him.

Your relationship does not sound pleasant.

Erm no, keep the money, and lose the man.

You can buy a decent car with £5K. Let him do that and try and walk away from the relationship. No one should be called names.

Buy a different, cheaper car that you yourself can pay for in full, and have it in your own name.

Make sure the invoice is in your name and that you have a record of the money transferred from your account. Being registered keeper makes no difference as that isn’t proof of ownership

Sorry - you're essentially buying a car, with all of your savings, for a man who calls you a cunt and is regularly mean to you? I think whether it's in your name or not is the least of your concerns here...

Do not buy a car with him, run for the hills instead. Do not let anyone speak to you like that, he has no love or respect for you, get out now.

A car is a terrible investment. They only ever loose money. If you need a vehicle buy an old Toyota Yaris or a Honda. They are cheap to maintain and they will run and run. Spend less than £3k he can have change from his parents money. You need to keep your money so you can afford to leave. He is setting himself up to be sole owner of the car. Why does he have no savings. Why is he talking to you like shit. Throw him back in the sea and start again.

Do you, personally, need a car? If so then buy a much cheaper one with part of your savings and use it to drive far, far away from this man. He can get a car with his parents money if he wants one in his name.

If I call you a cunt will you buy me a car?

Thought not.

Ditch the abusive twat. Save your money for YOU.

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He is financially abusing you

Walk away while you still have £11k savings

im not really sure what to do , for context we have two children and the family car is needed now for health reasons etc .
I don’t know why I agreed to put it all in his name I guess he convinced me it’d be better and cheaper.
I have tried to leave him years ago but he threatened suicide and we got back together and had another child. I do feel trapped but I don’t think I can separate as too many ties and he pays the rent and bills I don’t work as he works full time doesn’t want me working so it’s very hard to find a job around his . Also as I’ve been out of work so long it’s hard to find an employer who would give me a chance . Both children are at school during the day and I do housework etc .

Do not buy the car.

He can use his £5k and buy a car with that.

If you put 11k into a car you're losing your savings either way. The car is going to depreciate. And even if it's in your name he sounds like he'll keep it regardless.

Oh my god after your update do not use your money for the car. Use it for childcare and get a job so you can leave.

Please speak to WA, this is coercive control.

The threats of suicide, are just that threats to keep you trapped.

I wouldn't give a penny to anyone calling me that!

I wouldn’t buy a car with anyone who called me a c*nt. Yes, you absolutely can be the owner/keeper of the car and someone else is the main insured driver. I bought a car for my daughter to use and did just this, no issues.

Why does he think he should have the ownership of a £16k car he has put zero into? £11k from you and £5k from his parents and not a penny from himself? Absolute red flags. He could sell it immediately and pocket the money and there wouldn’t be a damn thing you could do about it legally as it would be his car on paper. Please don’t do this, however much he pressurised you. (And maybe re-think the entire relationship while you’re at it.)

You need to keep your money. If you stay with this abusive arsehole you'll need it for therapy.

Why would you stay with someone who calls you a cunt? What was your upbringing like that this is tolerable for you? This should be a huge red flag. You deserve to be treated with respect, there are no excuses for his behaviour and please don't accept any.

Read up on narcissism and gaslighting, a good book to read would be Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?" It's available as a free pdf if you search online.

Hes abusive.
You need that back up money just incase. Tell him youve changed your mind, he can get a cheaper one with his 5 k

my main question is about the car as we are purchasing it this week and I’m scared I’ll lose all my savings and have no legal say on the car.

According to my divorce solicitor whoever buys the car owns it. He will have the receipt and you will lose ALL of your money. DO NOT BUY THE CAR.

EDIT - I've read your 2nd post. Contact Women's Aid to help you leave. Keep your savings so you can actually leave. 5K is sufficient to buy a decent car. I bought a 2016 Fiesta for that, perfect condition, you just have to look for the bargains.

You asked about the car. So no, do not buy that car. He can buy a car for £5k. You keep your money.

It does not matter that you agreed before. You have reconsidered. Do not give him any money at this point.

Obviously, as everyone has said, you should get together an exit plan.

I would bet my own car that OP is not married to this prick. So will have even less of a chance of a claim on the car.

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I think you are going to need your savings pretty soon to escape . You sound like you don't trust him and that is more important than anything strangers on the internet say.

If he's the legal owner you will have limited recourse, unless you are married. Even then, that's only helpful at the point of sorting out assets as part of a divorce. If he decides to take the car away from you before then you couldn't stop him.