Car in his name? Am I doing right thing - possibly dv

[Feelingalone35]

Hi I’ll try and keep it short
We are buying a used car which is 16k
He hasn’t been good with money ( no savings ) and is putting 5k in his parents gave. I’m paying the rest from my savings I had before meeting him , it will clear my savings . He wants the car in his name as said it’s cheaper I’m wondering if I can be the keeper and he be the main driver ( to get the cheaper insurance he wants) I’m just having doubts about this , I’ve agreed to put it all in his name but the last week he’s been horrible to me calling me a c*nt etc it’s a regular occurrence of being mean then the next day it’s like nothing happened it’s been going on years .
my main question is about the car as we are purchasing it this week and I’m scared I’ll lose all my savings and have no legal say on the car. So what should I do ? If he agrees , I can be the legal keeper and him the main driver would that be ok and give me more security in the future ? Thank you

same...
I am hoping and praying she finds the strength to leave

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence Domestic
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Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

OP has a lot to digest and young children to wrangle, all while appearing outwardly calm

He’s a very dangerous abusive man. Give him nothing. Get out.

I can’t stop thinking about this OP. I am just a random on the internet and have no idea what it must be like but picture your life using your savings to get away from him.

Do not go ahead with this please op. Run away. You need to
Hose savings to escape him- get out and go as soon as it's safe and live alone or with someone that doesn't call you names and swear at you

'He doesn't want me working' so he can control you. Please go to a domestic abuse charity for help leaving and understanding benefits etc. you have enough savings for a few months rent while you get set up

Of course you have a choice still you haven't signed a contract

If ha you could possibly keep it and get benefits and he would have to pay you maintenance. You need professional advice

This

This

This.

Why are you still with him? He should not be treating you like this.

Bin him.

He's financially abusive too. Op, do talk to Women's Aid. They can help.

This is nightmarish. Once he's plucked those savings from you his plan is complete. It reads like an abuser's playbook.

Look at what you told us about your life before: you lived in a city, worked full time, had your own car which you drove, had a relationship with your family.

He has taken all that away from you and now, with this, he will take the last thing you have left.

Once he knows that lifeline is gone his abuse will escalate. I do hope that you can use this as the moment you decide to break free.

You do know there are cheaper cars for the amount his family are giving him don't you?
You can pull out anytime before signing contract.
He has so demoralised and ruined your confidence you think you need him....you don't and it's possible he is the cause of your sons issues if he's been living seeing what's going on....that's why it's child abuse too

He does not NEED a car that costs £16.000
He CANNOT AFFORD a car that costs £16,000

If he bothers !!! he will find a less expensive car.

You need to put on your big girl pants and be strong and say NO
as he is going to wipe you out financially

he already controls you so much that you cannot think for yourself

YOU have been given very good advice on here, read it, read it again and take it !

NOW

do you really want to be with this abusing bully for another minute / hour / day / week / year

do you really want to be dependent on him for every single penny
as you will have nothing, nothing at all

phone your housing association today, explain the situation, explain that you are not married and that you need a home for your children
see where they refer you to / what they advise

phone womans aid today

etc.

Save your money and move back to your home town

I’ve been thinking about you a lot OP. Hope you’re ok x

A man i know did this with his partner and she ended the relationship and refused to give him the car he’d paid for.
He got legal advice and was told he didn’t a leg to stand on as the name on the log book is legal owner - end of story.

Do not do this

Of course you can back out of the car purchase now. this man is controlling and isolating you. This £11,000 could help you escape from him. Do not use it for a car purchase.

Where I live insurance is cheaper fir women.
You can slso put 2 names on the car title document

Please dont spend all your saving.

Take the money and run
Deposit in flat rental
Small car
Money left over

I hope youre ok op

No way.

I hope you are OK OP. It must have been tough to read all the messages on here. Your situation is really, really tricky, but please know that tonnes of strangers on the internet have got your back.