He didn't know an invite over would mean sex

[Catladyireland]

Hi,

I have posted a little bit about this man before. We had been in an on/off relationship and i invited him over for 'movie and takeaway'. He was being quite strange about it, very kind of cold which I thought of as strange considering our past. I thought movie and takeaway was code that every adult would know....

I asked him tonight how did he feel about it and he said 'it's not a big deal, just food and a movie'. He says he thought I just meant food and a movie, he didn't make a connection about anything physical.

He's 39. What do others think about this? Seems ridiculous not to make that connection.

I'm 41 and wouldn't make that connection. It's subjective surely.

Yes, that's totally fair enough.

I should have mentioned our texts are often quite physical and sexual so I didn't think it was a massive leap

An invite over for movie and takeaway wouldn't mean sex, nor would any invite over.

I think you are too old to be talking 'in code' about having sex. Maybe so does he. Be grateful he isn't so presumptuous and sounds like he understands consent.

I certainly wouldn't take it as a precursor to sex. Have you actually already slept with him?

I think the phrase is Netflix and Chill.

Absolutely wouldn't mean sex to me. Netflix and chill sure I know what that means.

Yes, we've slept together for the past two years but haven't recently due to other relationship issues we had.

I realise I shouldn't have assumed just because of our past and sexual texts.

I'm very embarrassed

If I was invited over for a movie and takeaway that’s what I’d be expecting the evening to be, just a cosy night in.

if your texts are sexual surely it’s easy to just ask him over for sex if that’s what you want rather than coy hints and ambiguous code words.

Neither “movie and takeaway” nor “Netflix and chill” would be code for sex to me. They’d mean a night in.

I don’t get why you’re annoyed anyway

Can you really be bothered playing stupid games?

I really don't understand what the issue is.

YABU, sex code is "Netflix and chill"!

To be honest I think it's unfair in this day and age to use code. In today's consent awareness (welcomed) time be open.

For most men I know, if you turned up naked, carrying beer, they'd think "if I play my cards right, I could be in here" 🤦‍♂️

Did you greet him in nipple tassels and a thong? If not then what is there to be embarrassed about? Surely you at least start this hoped for sex fest with movie and takeaway and let things develop?

Why would that possibly mean sex. You’re an adult I presume? What’s with all the childish code. When did a takeaway become sex? It is clear not a code word he recognises. You can’t just make them up in your head then be annoyed someone doesn’t know you’ve got a secret code.

Do you want to bone?
Should we shag now or shag later? Definitely clear intention. But movie & takeaway.....Nah. Why would he make any connection to sex, that's almost friend zone talk.

It w

If you were a man and posted this, you would have quite rightly been flamed.
Takeaway and movie means JUST that.

Always.

It wouldn’t be code I would understand. Particularly not if you were texting about sex. If you were really coy and couldn’t bring yourself to say anything sexual I’d understand, but the dirtier the texts the more food and a movie just means food and a movie 😂

Seems fair enough. It's not fair to expect him to assume it means sex. If anything it's a GOOD thing he hasn't assumed it means sex.

I'd never assume sex from that. I know I'm older than you but I wouldn't want any man to assume sex was on the cards from something like that.

If you added a wink emoji yes. If not no, because you are grown adults not teens or early 20s.
Also fuck buddies don't tend to discuss how they feel?

invites to my partner are either “do you fancy a bottle of wine and a movie?” Meaning just that. Or, “do you fancy coming over and getting naked with me?” Which means sex.

You should never assume anything.

Quite frankly the last thing I want to do after stuffing my face with carb heavy takeaway is have sex

If you have a sort of friends with benefits situation going on you could cuddle up to him during the film and see where it goes naturally but the invite should not have been conditional on presuming you would be having sex. He sounds like a good man who respects women and was just happy to spend time with you which is nice.