He didn't know an invite over would mean sex

[Catladyireland]

Hi,

I have posted a little bit about this man before. We had been in an on/off relationship and i invited him over for 'movie and takeaway'. He was being quite strange about it, very kind of cold which I thought of as strange considering our past. I thought movie and takeaway was code that every adult would know....

I asked him tonight how did he feel about it and he said 'it's not a big deal, just food and a movie'. He says he thought I just meant food and a movie, he didn't make a connection about anything physical.

He's 39. What do others think about this? Seems ridiculous not to make that connection.

I had a friends with benefits situation when I was about 20 and we would always invite each other round to watch a film which always led to sex. However, now in my mid 30’s I think I’d just tell it as it is, no need for code words. But depends what you two are usually like/used to as to whether that connection would be made.

He's a bit miffed and I quote 'well not to be too crude, but having sex would have been nice!'

There you go @Catladyireland we were right. The issue was he didn't think that was on the table so he wasn't interested in seeing you.

Brutal as it is OP you’ve got your answer that he just needs a saw you as a FB with sexting in between.

At least you can now shut the door on him and move on . Hes not worth wasting any more time on

Ugh, I'm sorry. At least you know for sure now what he's like, and can cut ties and move on.

I’m sorry op, it’s hard when you want to be with someone and it’s not reciprocal, but that’s not about either of you, sometimes it works for one and not the other. I’m sure there have been men who have been into you and you haven’t been interested.

I mean this gently, but next time don’t do this to yourself. Offering sex or sexting when you want more, doesn’t work, make your stand from the start., and don’t make them spell it out, it only is going to cause you grief.

this man isn’t the one, that’s fine, move on. The right one is out there and you deserve someone who wants to be with you.

As far as you're concerned he should be placed into the player catagory.

Cut ties, there will be many men who treat you better.

I would also advise not sexting, regardless of if you face is exposed or not, you don't want your images out there for unscrupulous men to have hold of.

I have never understood females who had to assume I knew what they meant without confirming I did.
Communication is key for some men, I include myself in that the best friendships or relationships have been where ideas, hopes, dreams or desires could be properly communicated.
Just saying.

Because of the texts, maybe he ought to have made the connection, but It is a delicate line we thread these days. Somewhat subjective. He probably didn't want to presume, but that's the problem with modern dating, people don't actually say what they mean, and that leads to comms issues and people misinterpreting.

Just say come over and give me a good Rogering!