Not heard from him over Christmas. Am I a thing of convenience?

[dontcook]

I've been going on dates with a man and we've been communicating a lot - daily texts throughout the days in between dates.
He planned to spend Christmas at his parents while I am spending Christmas on my own.
Since he got to his parents' house on Christmas Eve, he has gone silent.
He hasn't been texting me and I have also given him space except one text which I sent simply to wish him merry Christmas. He responded, simply saying Merry Christmas!

My mind is telling me that this is not a good sign as it feels the daily communication was happening because it was convenient for him not because he wants to feel connected to me, but I'm being cautious not to overthink it.
Christmas is a special time and the least people do is to let loved ones know they're in their thoughts even they are not together. I would have appreciated a text.

YABU He should not communicate at all since it is Christmas and he is with his family. He needs his time and space.

YANBU It would be nice to have a man who doesn't put me on the back burner just because he is with family and I should see this as a red flag.

Op has already stated she doesn’t currently have time to date more than once per week! Personally I see my bf less than that because I don’t have time, I don’t always have the childcare and I might actually want to have some free time of my own too. My bf still communicates with me every day and I communicate with him every day. If he’d treated me over Xmas the way the op has been treated he’d be gone! You really don’t know other people’s circumstances and commitments to be judging how often people see each other! If it was a friend you wouldn’t expect to be up their arse every spare minute you have! It’s each to their own and what works for THEM! You can’t dismiss someone as not having a proper relationship just because it wouldn’t suit you!!

OP it sounds like you've got your head screwed on and you know and respect your boundaries. Sorry for the shitty treatment and at least he showed himself early.

On a side note, I have a mumsnet crush on @Watchkeys 💫 Always insightful comments.

Op

has he contacted you anymore? How bizarre that it went from what it did to what it has dwindled to

@ZebraD - OP got no acknowledgement of being ignored for three days and no "how was your Christmas" from someone who profess to like her a lot and who previously was bombarding her with texts on a daily basis. If you think the basic curtesy and consistency is "the earth" I have bad news for you.

Maybe ha is a typical narcissist, you know - hot and cold... Love bombed you first now pulling back.

I would suggest to a lot of ladies on here to read this blog: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/

• He has a no-gift-exchange policy for adults. So, we didn't exchange mere cards. I however told him that for years, I'd told people that these things didn't matter to me but deep down they actually do, so I'm now walking in my truth and I exchange gifts with a few good friends and celebrate the little things. Thinking about it now, he never responded. Just changed the subject.*

This is not the man for you - kudos for knowing it and expecting better.

No, he never responded to my last text.
I've made peace with it. Better now than later.
Upon reflection, I've also concluded that going forward, my mobile phone will be for speaking not texting like teenagers. If a date wants to be in regular communication, they can call me when I'm off work

He will come back at some point op, maybe in a few days or so, they always do… usually when they realise you’re not chasing after them. Just don’t take the bait. Move on and find someone worth your time. He might have been great for those couple of months but his mask is starting to slip off now and he is showing you who he truly is.