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Original poster

Life too difficult as a single mum, get back with ex?

212 replies

ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 11:48

Just that really. Has anyone given things another go? It doesn’t get any easier it really doesn’t so don’t want to be told it does as it doesn’t. Just has anyone given things another go and did it work out?

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 14/12/2023 11:51

Hang on- more information.
Do you work? How old are your kids?

It DOES get easier. You find ways of coping, the kids get older and more independent. It genuinely does get easier 💐

Saggypants · 14/12/2023 11:53

Why did you split up?

Original poster
ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 11:54

It doesn’t. This isn’t a recent break up so no it doesn’t get easier. I would say it worse actually. Nothing major like cheating or abuse

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 14/12/2023 11:54

It's the truth - it gets easier.

I found single mum life easier from day 1 (married to an addict, life was much much harder with the ex around). But even if that isn't the case for you, it will still get easier. You get more used to it, the children get older...

Original poster
ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 11:55

I’ve been a single mum for years. I can safely say it hasn’t got easier. It’s not early days.

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 14/12/2023 11:55

In what way are you struggling?

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/12/2023 11:55

How long have you split up and how old are kids?

MissFizzyPop · 14/12/2023 11:55

I've been a single parent since DD was 2, she is now 15. It does get easier. Her dad has attempted reconciliation on more than one occasion, I would never entertain the idea.

Thatnameistaken · 14/12/2023 11:57

Is your ex sharing the load with the kids?

Original poster
ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 11:57

I’ve been single for 6 years, he has tried to get back together over the years but I’ve always shut it down. It hasn’t got easier, I guess it’s easy if you only have one child though.

OP posts:
SecondUsername4me · 14/12/2023 12:00

What caused the split? Wouldn't the things that made you or him leave still be there?

Lorelaigilmore88 · 14/12/2023 12:00

I'm now on my own with 2dc. I suppose it depends on why you originally broke up and what your life was like when you were together.
My estranged dh is useless so i know i wouldn't be better off together

SecondUsername4me · 14/12/2023 12:00

Are you both doing 50/50 with the kids?

Dweetfidilove · 14/12/2023 12:00

I think you’ll get more useful advice if you are able to say why / what is harder.

I left when DD was 7 and she’s now 15 and It did get easier.

It helps that I have a reasonably paid job, her father pays generous maintenance and is much more generous with his time than he was when we were together.

What are you struggling with and how would getting back with your ex make life easier for you and your kids?

Saggypants · 14/12/2023 12:02

I have 2 kids, raising them on my own was far easier, not to mention a happier experience all round, than doing it with my ex. What specifically is the issue?

huuskymam · 14/12/2023 12:03

He's an ex for a reason, you need to remember what those reasons are. Is he doing his fair share with the child? Has he changed over the years? Is there a chance the reasons you split up, will come back into the relationship?

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/12/2023 12:05

Have you got any other support?

Original poster
ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 12:13

No it’s not still an issue. No I have no family help at all they are not interested and no he isn’t with them half the time they are here full time.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 14/12/2023 12:16

My ex has not seen my 2 since my eldest was in secondary school and she is now 26, same time he saw my youngest.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/12/2023 12:19

ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 12:13

No it’s not still an issue. No I have no family help at all they are not interested and no he isn’t with them half the time they are here full time.

So he is a useless parent who contributes nothing. And you think getting back with him will be beneficial because.....?

Socialyawkward · 14/12/2023 12:20

Do you love him ?

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 14/12/2023 12:21

ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 12:13

No it’s not still an issue. No I have no family help at all they are not interested and no he isn’t with them half the time they are here full time.

Why did you break up? If you have them full time and he hasn't bothered parenting what makes you think he'll step up if you get back together? You'll just have another person to consider?

I have 2 children and I'm a single mum with children full time and it has got easier. What parts are you finding hard? Perhaps we can make suggestions to help,?

justalittlesnoel · 14/12/2023 12:22

ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 12:13

No it’s not still an issue. No I have no family help at all they are not interested and no he isn’t with them half the time they are here full time.

But really if he's not got the kids half the time, why do you think it would be easier if you got back together with him? He's not stepped up as a dad when you were together or separated by the sound of it, so why would having him back in your life make it any easier?

perfectcolourfound · 14/12/2023 12:23

It sounds like he isn't interested in them, so I can't see how life would be easier living with him.

It would really help to understand what is it that's hard.

Original poster
ChristmasPuddingPie · 14/12/2023 12:23

because then I wouldn’t be raising them alone?? Someone else will be here? I’m struggling with raising them alone with no family help. The single mums I know have lots of family support.

OP posts: