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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He bit me

215 replies

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 20:56

My dh and I got into a fight yesterday and it probably got more heated than it should have. The reason was silly and nothing serious overall but I think we were both just tired and stressed out. At some stage during the argument he leaned forward and bit me in my upper arm right below the shoulder. It really hurt and he backed off, but today I have a noticeable bruise and I still find it painful.
We aren't fighting any more, and he did apologise, but he doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that he caused me to bruise.
I don't know what to make of it if I'm honest. I am pissed off of course, but I also think it's such a strange thing that he did. Do people actually do this? I have never deliberately bitten anyone in my whole life!

OP posts:
Readingineading · 27/08/2023 20:58

Its vile and abusive.

Wendysfriend · 27/08/2023 20:58

No people don't do this, well abusive people do and some dogs, a dog is actually put down when they bite someone.

loobylou10 · 27/08/2023 20:58

Yuk. If my husband bit me in anger, that would be it. Sorry that happened to you

Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 27/08/2023 20:59

Do people actually do this?
No. Animals do, though…

BurnToastAgain · 27/08/2023 20:59

He’s a violent abuser. I hope you can leave before he escalates his behaviour further and you get even more hurt 😞

Wishitsnows · 27/08/2023 21:00

That’s seriously fucked up and so extreme! You should leave for your safety.

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 21:00

I thought this thread was going to be about a child under 10.

This is violent abuse .

user76541055773 · 27/08/2023 21:01

He actually bit you deliberately to hurt you during an argument? So not boisterous play that went wrong, but in the middle of arguing he bit you? That’s not in any way normal.

Possibly in a 2 year old, but even then people would be looking intervene to show it was unacceptable.

HoneyBalloon · 27/08/2023 21:03

What a very strange and peculiar thing to do. I think the worst thing is he’s not bothered about it.

Astromelia · 27/08/2023 21:04

It’s horrible, he’s horrible. Can you leave him? Can you call the police?

Snugglemonkey · 27/08/2023 21:05

This is such an extreme act of aggression. You cannot ignore it. He is asserting dominance over you and he simply cannot be allowed to. For me it would be unforgivable.

TaniaBania · 27/08/2023 21:08

Horrifying. I think you might be under-reacting due to the fact it’s so weird. No better than punching you and should be seen in the same light.

Andthereyougo · 27/08/2023 21:12

It’s a very odd thing to do, I’d be worried that it might escalate, especially as he doesn’t seem concerned about your pain and the fact he inflicted it.

vipersnest1 · 27/08/2023 21:17

It's a massive red flag OP - and may well escalate to other violence during arguments including choking.
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/recognising-domestic-abuse/
Get out.

ActDottie · 27/08/2023 21:19

No people don’t do this. Also I’m not sure people have fights with their parents either? I know I don’t.

Original poster
Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 21:22

He's never done anything like this before.
Thank you. At least I know that I am not going crazy thinking that this was not normal

OP posts:
Andthereyougo · 27/08/2023 21:23

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22246344

”Among the research areas covered by Dr. Kimonis at the Australian university are aggressive and anti-social behavior and violent conduct.
“While common in early childhood, biting in adults is rare,” Kimonis said. “It may be one manifestation of a broader, long-term pattern of misbehavior that involves other forms of aggression - hitting, bullying, shouting, physical fighting - and is common to people with particularly hot tempers and impulsiveness.” Reuters.

Don’t minimise his behaviour OP, look at his behaviour carefully and objectively.

Luis Suarez row: How often do adults bite?

Liverpool footballer Luis Suarez bit an opponent. It's not uncommon behaviour for a toddler but how often do adults bite?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22246344

SweetAndSourChick3n · 27/08/2023 21:25

He bit you?!? That is not normal! My toddler bites sometimes when he's frustrated but he's only 18m old...

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 27/08/2023 21:28

He assaulted you. As someone else has said, if he was a dog he'd be put down for that. It's not normal by any stretch. But you know that. You need to leave because it will only get worse.

WeirdBarbie · 27/08/2023 21:28

Wtf?? Thought I’d be reading about a teething child, not your other half in a row!! Abuse. Awful.

Pinkbonbon · 27/08/2023 21:28

Wanted to hurt you but felt there was too much social stigma around punching. Wants to be able to downplay the violence as silliness that got out of hand. Knows there will be an element of 'wtf?' that might make you think its not actually abuse.

But assault is assault.
And biting someone is assault.

Hibiscrubbed · 27/08/2023 21:30

This is fucked. And a very, very bad sign.

sodthesodoff · 27/08/2023 21:31

Are you pregnant? Or thinking of having a baby?

Abuse ramps up during this time.

Honestly. This is not normal. It's horrific.

If you still have a bruise I would get it documented by your gp. But honestly if it were me I'd be out.

ZadocPDederick · 27/08/2023 21:32

You do know that is criminal assault? I suggest you take photographs and go to the police.

TicTacNicNak · 27/08/2023 21:33

No it's not normal, it's assault.

Toddlers sometimes bite but they usually grow out of it quite early. Grown adults don't bite.

Make sure to take some very clear photos of the bruising as a record. Can you see the teeth marks?

This is so random and I'd be worried about it escalating.

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