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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He bit me

215 replies

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 20:56

My dh and I got into a fight yesterday and it probably got more heated than it should have. The reason was silly and nothing serious overall but I think we were both just tired and stressed out. At some stage during the argument he leaned forward and bit me in my upper arm right below the shoulder. It really hurt and he backed off, but today I have a noticeable bruise and I still find it painful.
We aren't fighting any more, and he did apologise, but he doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that he caused me to bruise.
I don't know what to make of it if I'm honest. I am pissed off of course, but I also think it's such a strange thing that he did. Do people actually do this? I have never deliberately bitten anyone in my whole life!

OP posts:
Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 27/08/2023 22:20

Missingmyusername · 27/08/2023 22:09

I think it’s sort of worse when humans do it, given that animals can’t talk.

Are we comparing grown adult men to dogs ffs. This place gets more insane every day.

Show quote history

This grown adult bit his partner. What would you compare him to?

OhcantthInkofaname · 27/08/2023 22:20

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 21:22

He's never done anything like this before.
Thank you. At least I know that I am not going crazy thinking that this was not normal

You keep saying "he's never done anything like this before". He has now. Violence escalates. Send those photos and the link to this thread.

allhellcantstopusnow · 27/08/2023 22:28

Yeah my ex husband bit my little finger during an argument once. I had to glue it back together. We are obviously no longer married.

Inkpotlover · 27/08/2023 22:31

I clicked on this thinking you were either going to say your toddler or your puppy, not your bloody husband! WTAF.

determinedtomakethiswork · 27/08/2023 22:32

It doesn't matter that he hasn't done it before. The fact is he will do it again. What's your home situation like? It wouldn't surprise me if he has moved into your place. Do you have children together?

HerMammy · 27/08/2023 22:38

I too assumed it'd be a small child, please stop saying he's never done this before would you be minimising it if he'd punched you in the face?
Not often I'm shocked but this is truly shocking.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/08/2023 22:54

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 21:51

I took some pictures of it this morning and also this evening because it had gotten much darker, but I haven't emailed them to anyone because I feel really embarrassed. I have a friend who I can send them to though.
He's never done anything like this before at all

Please tell your friend about this.
Please also don't be embarrassed only he should feel extreme shame about his behaviour and if doesn't sound like he does at all. This was a test to see how you react- it will only get worse now

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/08/2023 22:56

Ps - Would you EVER bite someone during an argument? Of course you wouldn't. Does he do this to his colleagues? Of course he doesn't. He has made a deliberate choice to start doing this to you he won't stop

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/08/2023 22:57

SaturdayGiraffe · 27/08/2023 22:19

Biting seems like a particularly brutal way to dominate and control a partner. Not only is it not normal, it’s not even normal for violent abusers.

Yes

Cowlover89 · 27/08/2023 22:57

@Ltb

Gordon23 · 27/08/2023 23:00

WTF?!

This is horrendous behaviour OP! So sorry he did that to you.

notnowpls · 27/08/2023 23:02

How old is he? 5? What an absolute bottom feeder. Leave this moron asap.

Ajt34 · 27/08/2023 23:02

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 20:56

My dh and I got into a fight yesterday and it probably got more heated than it should have. The reason was silly and nothing serious overall but I think we were both just tired and stressed out. At some stage during the argument he leaned forward and bit me in my upper arm right below the shoulder. It really hurt and he backed off, but today I have a noticeable bruise and I still find it painful.
We aren't fighting any more, and he did apologise, but he doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that he caused me to bruise.
I don't know what to make of it if I'm honest. I am pissed off of course, but I also think it's such a strange thing that he did. Do people actually do this? I have never deliberately bitten anyone in my whole life!

OP, i hope you're okay. I have been there, not recently and not in the same way. I hope you realise your strength for even posting this. If you need help or someone to talk to, message🙂

Onthemaintrunkline · 27/08/2023 23:05

Your answers suggest you are making excuses for him, ‘he’s never done this before’ hells bells…..to actually BITE someone! Every living person has something they’ve never done before, his was biting you, now he’s done that what’s next….more biting, more domination?

DinaofCloud9 · 27/08/2023 23:05

I'm pretty gobsmacked by this.

He bit you? Actually sank his teeth into you.

This is awful. Really really awful.

Dreamingofasandybeach · 27/08/2023 23:06

Unsure if you have any children but if your child came to you and told you that their partner had bit them during an argument what would you do? that's not normal behaviour OP.. his lack of remorse is awful.

LondonLovie · 27/08/2023 23:11

Look at it another way. Would it be okay if he slapped you round the face? Or perhaps grabbed your throat for a few seconds. Maybe gave you a hard shove so you fell over.

No. None of these things are ever okay. Biting is also not okay.

Starseeking · 27/08/2023 23:12

He's crossed a line, and you need to leave him now, as next time he is likely to escalate.

And yes, there will be a next time.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 27/08/2023 23:15

I mean, the relationship is over, isn’t it?

How do you ever be intimate again with someone who’s bitten you?

I suspect you will sweep this under the carpet, but actually, it is over.

Salome61 · 27/08/2023 23:29

Oh no I'm so sorry. You cannot live with someone who thinks it is OK to bite you. I remember Robert de Niro biting the girl's face in Cape Fear, it terrified me. I hope you can be safe somewhere away from this person.

scoobydoo1971 · 27/08/2023 23:38

Biting someone is such a dirty act of violence. If you think about the germs in his mouth contaminating you. If he was a dog who bit you, then you would be calling the dog warden and would see this as a dangerous animal. Your dangerous animal has two legs and you are in grave danger of further harm. Report him and leave him.

Codlingmoths · 27/08/2023 23:41

He’s not even apologetic- this will definitely happen again. Send him the photos, say this is absolutely never acceptable and you need to stay somewhere else for a while, starting tonight. I can’t sleep under the same roof as the adult person who BIT me. And please tell your friend. don’t keep his secrets.

I thought it would be about a toddler too ☹️

crumblylancs · 27/08/2023 23:52

He's bitten you out of anger and isn't even bothered? Run.

surreygirl1987 · 28/08/2023 00:12

That's deeply disturbing. I'm freaking out because my preschooler tried to bite someone a few weeks ago. An adult? Run.

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