He bit me

[Hotpotato23]

My dh and I got into a fight yesterday and it probably got more heated than it should have. The reason was silly and nothing serious overall but I think we were both just tired and stressed out. At some stage during the argument he leaned forward and bit me in my upper arm right below the shoulder. It really hurt and he backed off, but today I have a noticeable bruise and I still find it painful.
We aren't fighting any more, and he did apologise, but he doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that he caused me to bruise.
I don't know what to make of it if I'm honest. I am pissed off of course, but I also think it's such a strange thing that he did. Do people actually do this? I have never deliberately bitten anyone in my whole life!

I know staying seems like the easier option, especially now when it's only been once. So you will look for ways to minimise what he has done. It is a natural reaction especially when you are so vulnerable. Please contact women's aid - this is really serious.

Longer term if social services find out he is abusive (DC makes a comment at school, a neighbour hears something) and you stay with him you could end up loosing your DC. You would be seen as enabling him.

Please put yourself and your baby first.

Thank you all. I’m really not feeling ok but I am staying with my sister tonight, and we will talk to the police and see if I can get this catalogued or registered without a criminal investigation. I’m not ready to take that step, and I already feel guilty doing this, so please don’t judge.
I feel different about this then I did a few days ago so that’s probably a “good” thing

It’s great that you’re taking that step and being decisive. Hard though it is, you’re doing the right thing. I’m sure no one here is judging you. Sending love and strength x

Definitely no judgement here. Just please watch that the abuse doesn't build up so gradually that you don't really notice it coming. I hope that makes sense, like the boiling frog syndrome.

@Hotpotato23 - I know some people are being (possibly overly) vociferous on this thread, but it’s only because we’re worried about you.

You do this at your own pace, and no-one else’s. I’m so glad you’ve spoken with your sister and can stay with her.

Sending you strength - you deserve far better than this man.

Glad you have been open with your sister. It’s a good second step (your first being posting here).

So pleased you've got your sister & well done for being open with her.

Also OP, once you have the baby, please neither put him on the birth cert nor his name.

Getting away from him before the baby is born is important as abusive men will often stop you moving even an hour away.

Please call Womens aid for advice.

Well done for telling your sister.

Be sure to tell anyone that knows him and any of his family.

I am so sorry, but you NEVER knew him.

She calls him dh so I assume married, which means leaving him off the BC is not an option, unfortunately.

Well done on telling your sister and this on g about contacting the police. You’re on your way x

Thank you, of course you are correct.

How absolutely horrific that she has actually married him.

I really hope she can protect her child.

If it was early in the pregnancy I would be advising rethinking it.

Such an awful thug to be tied to.

I wish you all the best OP. well done for telling your sister. well done for planning a trip to the police. it is such a lot to process. such a shock but you are doing the very best for yourself and your baby.

The shock has worn off, and you can now see the horror of what he has done, what he has inflicted on you. This is the hardest part, processing that someone you thought loved and cared for you has a dangerous and violent side you have never seen before. Perhaps your world and future feels like it has been turned upside down?

Support, love and protection is what you need now op.

At some point your anger may kick in, and some feelings of sadness but also some strength.

You have many reasons to feel very proud of how you have managed this so far. Small steps.

At least you know who he is now, before your baby is born - and this gives you time and space to prepare a much safer place for you both to live. It might not feel like this at the moment, but it will be okay 💐💐

Well done on telling and thinking about this seriously. You are protecting yourself and your child.

You are being brave at a time when you probably feel most vulnerable. ( I guess this is why abusers often begin when their partner is pregnant. )

Hi OP hope you are ok and your chat with the police went well. MN community rooting for you