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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He bit me

215 replies

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 20:56

My dh and I got into a fight yesterday and it probably got more heated than it should have. The reason was silly and nothing serious overall but I think we were both just tired and stressed out. At some stage during the argument he leaned forward and bit me in my upper arm right below the shoulder. It really hurt and he backed off, but today I have a noticeable bruise and I still find it painful.
We aren't fighting any more, and he did apologise, but he doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that he caused me to bruise.
I don't know what to make of it if I'm honest. I am pissed off of course, but I also think it's such a strange thing that he did. Do people actually do this? I have never deliberately bitten anyone in my whole life!

OP posts:
landbeforegrime · 27/08/2023 21:35

even if you don't feel able to leave or do anything now take a picture and email it to yourself documenting what happened. if you can send it to a friend even better. hide it in a folder if he has access to your account. one day you might want evidence of this.

Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 21:44

It is assault.
Please consider calling the police if it’s safe. I suspect you are in much more danger from this man than you realise.

It is a serious assault.

Winnipeggy · 27/08/2023 21:44

Very weird, was it the only physical episode of the argument? I'm trying to picture it and it just sounds such a random thing to do. Obviously completely out of order and he needs to take full culpability. I would be on edge now OP, I'm sorry you had to go through that x

Penguinsmum · 27/08/2023 21:44

Absolutely horrific. Do yourself a huge favour and get rid of him.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 27/08/2023 21:46

So it's the first act of violence toward you

I guarantee it won't be the last

Leave .

Problesolving · 27/08/2023 21:48

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 21:00

I thought this thread was going to be about a child under 10.

This is violent abuse .

I was expecting it to be a teething toddler.

This isn’t normal behaviour for an adult. I bet he has never done this at work or to his friends.

Original poster
Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 21:51

I took some pictures of it this morning and also this evening because it had gotten much darker, but I haven't emailed them to anyone because I feel really embarrassed. I have a friend who I can send them to though.
He's never done anything like this before at all

OP posts:
Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 21:53

His lack of remorse is the biggest problem, it is a serious offence to bite someone so that they are injured.

Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 27/08/2023 21:55

Hotpotato23 · 27/08/2023 21:51

I took some pictures of it this morning and also this evening because it had gotten much darker, but I haven't emailed them to anyone because I feel really embarrassed. I have a friend who I can send them to though.
He's never done anything like this before at all

Well, they all have to start somewhere. Why does this excuse what he did?

Ohdofuckofdear · 27/08/2023 21:59

Be careful OP because if he's broken the skin it could get infected.

And to answer your question no it is not normal to bite someone and I've unfortunately been in abusive relationships in the past and even they didn't bite me and he's been bloody lucky that your fight instinct didn't cause you to hit him back!

Valerie23 · 27/08/2023 22:01

You'll regret staying with this brute when you're sitting in A & E covered in blood where he's bitten a chunk of your ear off.

Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 22:01

I think you are in shock op, but when yhis wears off you are going to be horrified.

Please send the photo to your trusted friend, so you have proper support.

ImNotReallySpartacus · 27/08/2023 22:04

Normal people don't do this, no. Biting (other than in self defence) is a deliberate act of aggression and degradation.

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 27/08/2023 22:04

He bit you to shut you up. And it worked. And you will probably be extra careful not to argue for a while so it worked for two different reasons.

What do you think he will do next time? A little slap or another bite? Maybe throw you onto a bed or sofa instead. Because there definitely will be a next time if you stay around.

Has he explained why he bit you instead of walking away?

Malificent1 · 27/08/2023 22:05

There’s a first time for everything OP. I’m sorry this happened to you. I sincerely hope you’re not back again soon saying “he’s only done it once before”.

A good person would be horrified and remorseful. But then I don’t suppose a good person would bite someone in the first place.

Mmhmmn · 27/08/2023 22:05

Do people actually do this?

NO. Get him the f**k away from you. And take a picture of your bruise in case you decide to press charges.

That is such abnormal thing to do.

MillWood85 · 27/08/2023 22:09

So it was a silly argument, nothing serious and yet he got so wound up that he bit you.... the action of someone who has lost control.

That's actually horrifying, OP. Please don't minimise this in your head.

Missingmyusername · 27/08/2023 22:09

Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 27/08/2023 20:59

Do people actually do this?
No. Animals do, though…

I think it’s sort of worse when humans do it, given that animals can’t talk.

Are we comparing grown adult men to dogs ffs. This place gets more insane every day.

Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 22:09

I would get the injury checked out by a doctor tomorrow op. Human teeth can bite down to the bone, the jaw is unusually strong. If the bruising is deepening please get it checked out.

Tilllly · 27/08/2023 22:12

If your friend came to you and said her partner bit her, what would you be advising her?

What would you do if a stranger bit you on a night out?

Think about that and respond accordingly
He's abusive

NeedTheSeaside · 27/08/2023 22:13

@Hotpotato23

It may sound extreme to you as this is the first time, but this is seriously disturbing! It's far worse than a push or a slap (not saying that's acceptable either mind).

I dare say right now you're struggling to get past WTF??

But it's a very aggressive, dominating thing to do. It was a silly row over nothing, yet he's done something SO nasty & disturbing. There's real anger bubbling under that. He's not that bothered about the fact he hurt you OR that he did something so aggressive & weird.

I've forgiven a lot in the past, but this would scare me for what's to come. I'd ask him to leave (say for a few days while I process it), but I wouldn't have him back.

biting is weird & thus scary. Where to from here?!

Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 22:14

Normal people would be devastated to harm and injure their partner like this, his indifference speaks absolute volumes.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 27/08/2023 22:16

If he were 2 I could understand it but a full grown adult? No, that is not normal and I can only imagine it will get worse.

almostoverthehill · 27/08/2023 22:18

FFS OP you know that’s abuse

SaturdayGiraffe · 27/08/2023 22:19

Biting seems like a particularly brutal way to dominate and control a partner. Not only is it not normal, it’s not even normal for violent abusers.

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