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Original poster

Im so sad I’ll never have sex again

212 replies

Elephantparade1 · 07/08/2023 21:41

My partner has made it clear they don’t want to have sex with me anymore.
i love them and don’t want to split up with them so I don’t have any other choice but to accept it for what it is.
They say they love me, but they just don’t see me that way anymore and they’re not interested in having sex.
But I’m really sad about it, all the same.

OP posts:
CalistoNoSolo · 07/08/2023 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BCBird · 07/08/2023 21:48

Hand hold to.you OP. You and your partner are entitled to.your feelings. The problems arise when both opinions don't align. This is a big ask I think. Is there any way intimacy could be re kindled? Is it worth.considering some sort of counselling? If you end up.parting company, at least you will.know you have tried to.save things.

PimpMyFridge · 07/08/2023 21:50

Not surprised you feel sad.
Maybe as time goes by you'll find yourself making different choices because of this.
Your age and personal circumstances aren't in your post, so not much more to add really.

legalseagull · 07/08/2023 21:58

So they get everything their own way. What do YOU want? If you want a relationship more than just friendship you have to leave - or agree to an open relationship

advice222 · 07/08/2023 21:59

I’m sorry OP, I’d be broken hearted too, I think you need to walk away and try again.

ChurlishGreen · 07/08/2023 22:01

It doesn’t have to mean that. Your spouse doesn’t get to confiscate your sexuality because of a decision he or she has made. Talk, and agree some ground rules for you to find sex elsewhere. It can work well.

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 07/08/2023 22:01

Well that's not a partnership is it? Life suiting one half isn't fair...

Who1what1me · 07/08/2023 22:01

@Elephantparade1 how old are you?

PermanentTemporary · 07/08/2023 22:03

Acceptance is all very well but you can say you're not happy, you could at least have some therapy together (though having watched about 10 minutes of Couples Therapy I'm a bit Shock

Ask them how they see the future.

monkina · 07/08/2023 22:04

This is really sad to hear. If your partner has stated this, then believe them.

However, you WILL still be sexually attractive to others, and in time you could form another romantic/sexual union with someone.

You can still stay friends with your partner, but don't settle for a life of no close contact if this is something you still want.

Whattodo112222 · 07/08/2023 22:05

Its very sad. If its a deal breaker for you I'd be ending this marriage if I were you.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 07/08/2023 22:08

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 07/08/2023 22:01

Well that's not a partnership is it? Life suiting one half isn't fair...

But if they have different needs then it can only suit one partner. Otherwise the other has to be touched intimately when they don’t want to be. Nobody can win here.

userxx · 07/08/2023 22:09

ChurlishGreen · 07/08/2023 22:01

It doesn’t have to mean that. Your spouse doesn’t get to confiscate your sexuality because of a decision he or she has made. Talk, and agree some ground rules for you to find sex elsewhere. It can work well.

Agree with this.

nolamesallowed · 07/08/2023 22:11

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 07/08/2023 22:01

Well that's not a partnership is it? Life suiting one half isn't fair...

Would you say the same if OP was the party wishing not to have sex or be touched?

Original poster
Elephantparade1 · 07/08/2023 22:19

Im 38.

OP posts:
Namechangenumber23 · 07/08/2023 22:26

This is exactly the kind of stuff my BIL spouted right about the time he sorted out getting sex elsewhere but didn't want the inconvenience or the financial blow a divorce would bring him.

That aside. They are well within their rights not to do what they don't want to do but you absolutely deserve not to have to live your life without sex and intimate affection.

Original poster
Elephantparade1 · 07/08/2023 22:27

Oh yeah, I’d never want them to have sex with me because they felt they should.
I do feel horrible and undesirable though.

OP posts:
cancan678 · 07/08/2023 22:28

Honestly leave. It will be hard but you will meet someone else and be happy.

UndercoverCop · 07/08/2023 22:29

Oooh that's too young to be without a sex life other than for very extenuating eg medical circumstances, where it would still be difficult but you might know the other party wanted to but was physically unable for example.
20-25 years later I might be able to get my head around it, but you're the same age as me roughly and I can't imagine signing up to a life of celibacy

Who1what1me · 07/08/2023 22:29

Elephantparade1 · 07/08/2023 22:19

Im 38.

@Elephantparade1 You are only young. Are you really prepared to have a life without sex? Are you intimate in other ways? Personally, I couldn't have a sexless marriage. It would be a deal breaker for me. Unless, it wasn't a choice and it was medical.

LindorDoubleChoc · 07/08/2023 22:31

What's with all sexless relationships threads tonight? I've counted 3 already and I've hardly glanced at MN this evening.

merrymelodies · 07/08/2023 22:38

Leave. No one is worth hanging around for if they make you feel undesirable.

Winterscomingagain · 07/08/2023 22:40

My partner made a similar decision and, at the age of 57, I'm currently renewing a friendship and hopefully a relationship with a boyfriend from many years ago.
I'm not sure where this will lead me but I crave touch and physical contact.

Original poster
Elephantparade1 · 07/08/2023 22:41

It’s just difficult to know isn’t it. The grass might not be greener.
I feel disgusting though… I don’t want to have sex with just anyone, I want to have sex with them, but they have said they no longer have a sex drive and just don’t see me in that way anymore.

OP posts:
xyz111 · 07/08/2023 22:42

Elephantparade1 · 07/08/2023 22:41

It’s just difficult to know isn’t it. The grass might not be greener.
I feel disgusting though… I don’t want to have sex with just anyone, I want to have sex with them, but they have said they no longer have a sex drive and just don’t see me in that way anymore.

Do they have a sex drive at all? Do they fancy other people and not just you? Maybe "they" need to see the Gp?

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