Would you think my husband might be gay?

[MentalToad]

We have sex but never touches me down there or goes down on me. Totally uninterested, possibly a little disgusted by vagina!!

I try asking him and he says yeah OK but never ever does it. He also flips me over a lot and used to want to do anal a lot. But that's stopped as we got old and boring

Also he has a weird thing where he hero worships his bloke mates and is generally uninterested in women, in social situations.

Am I reading too much into it?

@Maddy70

they only smell if they’re not washed regularly enough. Just like penises.

Yeah there are. Not a lot, but you'll find sex workers encounter a fair few - presumably because they can't find anyone else to put up with zero foreplay and a shit shag.

Lots of reasons:
Sensory issues - can't deal with the feel of the vulva
Historical sexual trauma
Brought up to believe vulvas are gross and dirty
Religious indoctrination
Fundamental antipathy for women
...sure there's more.

OP it sounds like you're not enjoying the sex you're having, so the first thing I'd do is stop having it with him. Then decide how to proceed, whether that's giving him a chance to improve, or exiting the marriage.

As an aside, there seems to have been a real plethora of these threads recently.

I don’t get most of these comments.

We’re more than just our genitalias.
Not being super into them, doesn’t make anyone wrong.
Damn weird comments seriously.

If he was gay he wouldn’t be having sex with you.

Having anal sex with his wife doesn’t make him gay. Gay men want to have sex with men. A woman’s ass isn’t going to cut it for them.

Maybe he’s just not into vaginas? maybe he’s just not that into yours?

Some women don’t enjoy giving blow jobs. Are they all lesbians?

I try asking him and he says yeah OK but never ever does it.

It sounds more to me like he's taking what he wants and giving nothing in return. Apart from doubt.

How is the rest of your relationship?

If he was gay he wouldn’t be having sex with you.

some people are so naive.

If he was gay he wouldn’t be having sex with you.

Tell that to Phillip Schofield's wife

It’s a valid question though isn’t it 🤷🏻‍♀️, why?

Might not be gay but I don't think he likes women much

He was an out gay man for decades and she knew about it. She was involved in the cover up for his public image.

Don't you read ?

They really are. They think that gay men have sex with women.

The typical MN homophobia creeping in again. 😂

well considering they had children, he had sex with her at some point, no? even though he was gay

@almostoverthehill Yeah, it probably is a valid question. I just don't have a very good answer. It used to be better, I used to be more naive. I don't know.

This sounds just like my ex! Glad he dumped me.. I now get to have a much better sex life with my husband who is more than happy to get up close to my vagina with his mouth and hands.

My ex also wasn't into kissing either! I assume he is closeted gay or just an oddball, glad I didn't marry him and the lass he dumped me for got stuck with him instead. She probably thinks she got a prize but hindsight is he's not even good enough to be the consolation prize.

Do you like him? Does he like you? How is your life together?

No one was suggesting he didn’t have sex with her. They have biological children together. I thought most of MN understood basic biology 😂

so yes, gay men DO have sex with women

No man has ever entered into a heterosexual marriage, had children with their wife (presumably as the result of…sex!) and later come out as a gay man.

Again, you sound hopelessly naïve.

I think there are some; but that makes them shit in bed.

Which is the bottom line, no pun intended.

Maybe he's not gay. Probably just a misogynist I think. And maybe immature.

Also someone talked about religoius stuff - he was bought up in an extreme religouis house even though he left all that behind.

He thinks men are so funny & smart. He loves men on youtube like russell brand and joe rogan. He never engages with any women. He never watches porn or seems to be interested in naked women on telly. In fact he finds it all embarrassing.

And yeah - sex is rubbish. No touching. Just shove it in for 3 minutes in a half dark bedroom. He really doesn't seem to like vaginas

I just started thinking maybe he is gay. But maybe he just has a strong dislike for women.

Why on earth would a straight woman want to be with such a man!?

If he was gay he wouldn’t be having sex with you

😂😂😂

Aw, man.

The implication in your message was that he was giving her one up the shitter each night and she didn’t know he was gay.

He came to terms with his sexuality after they had children. He wasn’t gay at the start of the marriage. Once he came out she knew he was gay. At that stage he was out as a gay man, having relationships with gay men. She wasn’t in a sexual relationship with him once he accepted his sexuality.

Understand?

Did I say that?????

Please quote me.

I’ll wait 😂

Who knows what combo of repressed, misogynist, bi, gay etc he is.

He's pretty shit in bed by the sounds of it.
And doesn't like women.

The asking for anal ..... Fuck me, you couldn't pay me to do it.

How hard is it to get rid of him?