Would you think my husband might be gay?

[MentalToad]

We have sex but never touches me down there or goes down on me. Totally uninterested, possibly a little disgusted by vagina!!

I try asking him and he says yeah OK but never ever does it. He also flips me over a lot and used to want to do anal a lot. But that's stopped as we got old and boring

Also he has a weird thing where he hero worships his bloke mates and is generally uninterested in women, in social situations.

Am I reading too much into it?

@BigRedsBalloon I thought you were talking about me for a second...taking it up the shitter as you put it.... but now I understand we are talking about Philip Scholfield's sex life. Good good.

That right. They have sex with men.

And women.

What planet are you on?

My guess is that he is a gay man who also doesn't much like women. There are gay men who are just not interested in women at all (and some who love them and are great friends with women, yes) and I think yours is one of these.

The fact that he has sex but appears to have no real interest in the female body or be engaging with you as a person whilst you have sex, not interested in other women socially or sexually, adores his mates...... yeah I think he is.

But the main issue for you is that your marriage is shit and you are with someone who does not appear to like you, whether or not he's gay.

He wasn’t gay at the start of the marriage.

😂

You said 'If he was gay he wouldn’t be having sex with you'. But closeted gay men do have sex with women.

Is it filtering through yet? Any day now hopefully...

Maybe he's bi?

That wasn't the question

Another classic.

I'm going with gay .... But couldn't admit it to himself let alone others due to the conservative religious upbringing.

I know a few people like this. They strike me strongly as gay/lesbian but are deeply religious (evangelicals) and literally cannot countenance it, even privately. It's not an option. So they lead a heterosexual life, as far as they can.

No, but not being into them does make someone a shit shag.

And no, we are not just our genitals but they are a vital part of our sex life. I don't expect my mates or co-workers or the supermarket check out guy to have any interest in my genitals at all, but I do expect my sexual partner too.

And its crucial for (the majority) of women who don't orgasm through PIV sex to have a male partner who is into your genitals.

😅😅 Jesus wept this thread hahaha poor op

Sorry back to the serious stuff - has he always not done foreplay? Or did that stop when the kinks stopped too like he isn't getting it the way he wants anymore so you're not either?

And its crucial for (the majority) of women who don't orgasm through PIV sex to have a male partner who is into your genitals.

Hear fucking hear.

He could be gay, sex repulsed, asexual or horribly repressed. Or maybe just doesn't find you attractive.

Whatever, as others have said, what do you want to do about it? You could continue the relationship without sex, as he doesn't sound very interested. But would it be worth it? What is the rest of your relationship like?

This thread is very muddling. So much sarcasm that doesn't really read well, particularly if you cba to unpick who is saying what to who.

Poor you OP, I have no idea if he is gay but it doesn't sound like he is a good man.

It's not really.

All you need to do is look at bigreds posts and the responses to them.

There's no other sarcasm. The rest of the thread is attempts at support.

He could be gay, sex repulsed, asexual or horribly repressed. Or maybe just doesn't find you attractive.

If he was asexual, would he have been subjecting the op to shit (no pun intended) anal and vaginal sex for (how long, op)?

I think people are affected by those upbringings and that might account for the misogyny
It could be that you don’t see the porn because of his preferences
Does it matter?

From what I understand, he doesn't like you, doesn't respect you and he is selfish in bed.

OP, you would do better as a single woman with a rampant rabbit vibrator and a dog for companionship. Guaranteed orgasms and the dog would be happy to see you.

Whatever he is, I wouldn't be spending any more time with him. He isn't making you happy and has no inclination to try. Stop the sex, tell him why and separate.

So no foreplay, no oral and he doesn't make you feel special. I'm always suspicious of men who want lots of anal sex but claim to be straight. Why are you still with him OP?

In terms of the quality of touching and sex, sounds like my ex husband. He never touched my body except for my breasts, so I have upgraded to a superior model.

Gay or not he sounds terrible in bed. I would trade him in for a better one.

I'd say gay though.

My ex husband isn't gay, just had had very few lovers, a bit weird about sex and prudish in general.... I do feel sorry for his new gf

I nearly wet myself when I read that line 😂😂