My husband strangled me last night.

[LivingMyBestAnxietyLife]

Basically that really. I've been with my husband for 10 years. He has always had a temper and can be quite shouty at times. He has pushed me over a few times during arguments over the years but last night was the first time he has strangled me...its escalating isn't it? His dad beat his mum until she managed to get away from him and I'm worried about his temper and behaviour.

We are happily married despite this but he has a problem with drinking which is getting worse too but I'm scared now! He told me he is sorry but that's what they all say isn't it...im so shocked do you think this could have been a one time thing or am I being silly. He was drunk but that's no excuse.

You are not happily married.

Please don’t kid yourself you are happily married apart from this.

The hardest thing to do is walk away , you will probably do it a few times and go back but you will realise eventually you are worth so much more.

that’s if your not taken away first in an ambulance or worse still a hearse.

please leave , and stay away.

he’s going to get worse. I promise x

It's not escalating op. The next step is you dead. Murdered. There is no escalating.

He's attempted to murder you and chickened out at the last minute. What if next time he's just a bit angrier, or a bit drunker?

Go outside or to the toilet and call the police. You need this on record and to press charges so he can't have access to your kids unsupervised.
Also as a victim of domestic violence, you'll be entitled to legal aid and help from charities.

Please don't wait until he really hurts you.
Be strong.
I believe the statistic is that 2 women are killed every week.

Please contact women's aid
They can help you, they can be trusted
It's a huge step and I believe you have started to make the first one by writing in this page.
It can be a hard struggle but you will hopefully come out the other end. Many of us have gone through this and survived.
To be blunt
Stay and you won't

I would’ve gone the first time he pushed me!

Go to the bathroom and ring the police.

Please please leave. FFS. Tonight if possible.

ffs* - just worried for you and your children.

Hey, please call the police, this is something that is taken so seriously. There is a relatively new offence called ‘non fatal strangulation’ which this would come under, it is a really serious offence. It has been recognised that this sort of behaviour often escalates and can be fatal.
The police will support you and make relevant referrals for help.
Please tell them a taxi driver witnessed it as he would be able to provide evidence, he really needs to be dealt with and recognise this behaviour is unacceptable.
Your children will grow up thinking this is normal behaviour and you don’t want that to be the case, please protect yourself and them xx

That is horrifically dangerous. Next time you could be dead. It takes very little pressure to murder somebody by strangulation.

If he's in such an emotional state, this is very dangerous,

You must protect your son and yourself by leaving - NOW. You can't gamble your son's life and your own on the hope he will not drink again because he's crying. He's more likely to drink again if he's upset, isn't he?

Go out asap to a friend's, relation's, neighbour's, police station etc but do not stay home. If you don't know where you can go just leave, go into a cafe, pub, shop etc and ring 999 and tell them he's tried to strangle you.

The Police / Women's Aid will advise re contact / photos / evidence etc. Hopefully the Police will remove him and you will be able to get things you need plus restraining order later. You need to be in a SECRET location asap.

Don't tell him or make any preparations to alert him you're going. He'll be hyper sensitive atm so that is likely to escalate things. Pretend all's fine. Say it if necessary. Begin to play a game or read to your son to make him think all's well.

The moment he's gone to the loo or gone into another room - go v v quietly.

This is the most dangerous time for an abused woman.

I hope you're OK Op, please tell the police what he did, please. I've read some awful things on MN but yours made me feel ill

Why do I get a feeling we won't see any more from the OP on this thread?

You are worried that your son will overhear you calling the police. What if he overheard his dad murdering his mum? Please tell someone in real life, even if you feel you can't call the police.

That must have been really scary for you. Drinking or not, he's responsible for his behaviour and if he becomes violent when drinking then why does he drink at all?

I read that women who are strangled during domestic violence incidents are 750% more likely to be murdered by their partner within the next year. I really hope you can find the strength to leave, for your sake and your children's too 💐

I understand why you did this OP. My ex h was an alcoholic ( he’s dead, alcoholism killed him eventually) I knew instinctively when i had to say the right things to shut him down. I also left one day while he was out ( don’t know where, he used to disappear for a few days at a time on a drinking binge)
Get yourself and the children somewhere safe, inform their schools that he is not to remove the children from school, call the police and get his assault logged.
You might well feel lost and a bit shocked just after you leave but it then starts to get better. Stay strong. And safe.

Just to echo what others have said OP, you need to get out now.
Incidents of non fatal strangulation in a relationship is one of the biggest red flags that a perpetrator will one day kill the victim. You and your children deserve to be safe.

Gets. Divorce , call the police and make anormal complaint . Please you need out . Thatch’s never going to get better , that is never going to be ok

Strangulation is a crime in itself and is likely enough to get him into custody (in fact I know it is) whilst awaiting sentencing

I don't think op will do though

It takes a woman a good few attempts at leaving before she goes through with it .... something like 7

I totally agree with you and have thought this for some time - ever since it happened to me . When you escape from strangulation the feeling is indescribable because you know you have escaped death by mere seconds.

Happy marriage🤦‍♂️

Happy marriage? Mm really

Your last comment about him not drinking so you’re safe. What that actually means is that he is only doing it when he’s drunk so he can blame the drink. What happens when he realises you’ll make excuses for him when he’s sober?

Hope you are doing ok now OP.
The shock of these things is terrible. You are doing the best you can.
Call the police as early as you feel it is safe. Strangulation is taken VERY seriously, because as many pp have noted, it is very serious.
Hope he stays calm tonight and that you make your call after the school run, at the latest.

I would not recommend involving your mil, yet anyway. Blood is usually thicker than water and she may well turn on you. My mil did, despite having suffered beatings by my ex’s dad.