My ex strangled me about 20 years ago. I loved him so much and it was just the once...right? He was appalled at first. Remorseful, and crying his eyes out. We went on a holiday, and it was a new beginning, we talked and I got a myriad of promises.
Except that I knew deep down just like you do now, that it was only the beginning of the violence and not the end. His best behaviour lasted a few weeks, and he was right back to before, pretty much. Less physical violence, but the same amount of fights, the same level of drinking and weed as ever. And far more verbal abuse.
So I left. And I was heartbroken but it remains the best and bravest thing I have ever done. I have never regretted leaving him - only that it took me more months than it needed to. As I also wanted to avoid ever having anything like that again, I did 6 months of counselling and read every book on DV that I could.
To this day, I cannot abide scarves or polo necks, I would panic if anyone even jokingly put their hands around my neck lightly, it stays with you. And I would not be one bit surprised if I saw my ex in the paper, having killed his spouse. I really only fully understood how much I had normalised it when in reality, there was so many areas of the relationship that were fucked up.
Life is amazing now. I met someone the total opposite a year or so after that, and we have a DS. It's a house that's never seen drunken rows - or even really rows of any kind. DS sees that women are loved and respected. He sees effective and calm communication, he is able to articulate how he's feeling. He sees equality in all areas of our home life.
The best of luck on your next few steps, you incredibly wonderful brave woman!