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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just had a WhatsApp from my colleagues wife

714 replies

BlueMoone · 10/06/2022 22:07

I work in a freelance creative industry (TV production) where I will be contracted on a project for a finite amount of time. My current role is 16 weeks and I'm 6 weeks in. I'm self employed and very very pleased to have the contract as sometimes I go a couple of months between contracts and have to budget to make the money stretch the whole year. Being self employed I don't get holiday pay or anything like that (just demonstrating how precious the work is to me.)

My role involves being paired with another freelance professional and the two of us work together in an edit suite reporting to senior members of staff but essentially it's just the two of us for the vast majority of the day.

This job was the first time I had met this guy, usually you work with people on the circuit but I hadn't come across him before. We get in great, he's 15 years older than me but seems young in his outlook and we have enjoyed chatting and having a laugh at work.

He told me about how he met his wife online and got her pregnant on their second date and now they're married and their child is about six months old. FWIW I live with my long term partner. He would sometimes tell me how his wife and he would argue but always in a jokey tone, he probably did share too much but not just about his relationship about loads of stuff - mostly just idle chat as we worked.

This evening I have received a WhatsApp from his wife (must have taken my number from his phone) telling me to stop calling him, he's a married man and he has a child and I need to back off and stay away from her husband. I had a missed call from him yesterday evening, called back assuming a work thing and he didn't pick up. Wasn't mentioned at work today I didn't think anything of it.

What do I reply? I don't want things to be awkward at work and don't want to put my job in jeopardy by giving the impression at work we are not being professional. We are doing a good job with good feedback. Should I message my colleague and tell him?

OP posts:
Arnaquer · 13/06/2022 21:56

Let’s see shall we?

RoseAndRose · 13/06/2022 23:30

I think PM was aware because similar has happened before, and this was his chance to show his home life was no longer going to cause work issues.

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/06/2022 23:46

Ah Op so sorry you’re having to go through this - so stressful for you.

He sounds like a twat and she sounds insecure and unhinged.

Hang in there, the truth will out - it always does in the end.

Dasher789 · 14/06/2022 00:12

How did it go op?

TooTiredToSleepRightNow · 14/06/2022 01:20

i honestly would not reply as it looks really unprofessional and could land you in it particularly if you’re self employed. You will ruin your reputation as people will just think you had some issues with a bloke’s wife.

i know it’s tempting to ‘clear your name’ but I would block and ignore. If she continues then you could call it harassment. Just don’t get dragged into their drama and by replying to her you would be getting dragged in.

i would screenshot and show him and tell him to deal with it and you won’t be talking about it from now on as you’re a professional. Please don’t reply to her and block her.

WEEonline · 14/06/2022 01:24

Ignore the whole bonanza and get on with your life. If it's not your fault, then you shouldn't do any explaining. Clear the air with your colleague only if he brings it up, but otherwise carry on as usual.

WEEonline · 14/06/2022 01:32

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Hutchy16 · 14/06/2022 02:02

No update @BlueMoone ?

Mumof2beautifulbabies · 14/06/2022 02:35

Definitely speak to him in person. His wife won’t like it BUT she obviously has issues that he needs to talk to her about.
you shouldn’t be involved. My mum once did this to my dad, my sister and I knew but my dad didn’t, it was awful and I think my dad should have known to address the issue.

Lanareyrey · 14/06/2022 03:18

Think we have lost OP 😪

CandyLeBonBon · 14/06/2022 06:18

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God, patronising much?

KarlWrenbury · 14/06/2022 06:33

@WEEonline don’t talk to us like that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/06/2022 06:33

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isthismylifenow · 14/06/2022 06:37

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Nice try...

NotAHouse · 14/06/2022 07:01

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"Unlimited patience"??! Do me a favour. Read plenty of threads on here that will tell you otherwise.

"Wifey" Ugh.

BigFatLiar · 14/06/2022 07:01

Are we saying the the wife should ignore her spidey senses that must be tingling like crazy? 😀

EmoIsntDead · 14/06/2022 07:10

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Oh fuck off

comfortablyfrumpy · 14/06/2022 07:47

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Are you for real? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

saraclara · 14/06/2022 07:51

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Troll hunting

wellhelloitsme · 14/06/2022 09:08

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I think your wife might be quiet patient too if this is how you speak about women tbh!

wellhelloitsme · 14/06/2022 09:08

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I think your wife might be quiet patient too if this is how you speak about women tbh!

SinnermanGirl · 14/06/2022 09:23

Lanareyrey · 14/06/2022 03:18

Think we have lost OP 😪

Gee I wonder why 🤔

mummabear18 · 14/06/2022 09:43

@BlueMoone do you have an update? I hope all is well with your role!

Leim · 14/06/2022 10:01

For sure wait until you see him.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 14/06/2022 10:06

Arnaquer · 13/06/2022 21:56

Let’s see shall we?

Are you suggesting the OP made it all up?

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