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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just had a WhatsApp from my colleagues wife

714 replies

BlueMoone · 10/06/2022 22:07

I work in a freelance creative industry (TV production) where I will be contracted on a project for a finite amount of time. My current role is 16 weeks and I'm 6 weeks in. I'm self employed and very very pleased to have the contract as sometimes I go a couple of months between contracts and have to budget to make the money stretch the whole year. Being self employed I don't get holiday pay or anything like that (just demonstrating how precious the work is to me.)

My role involves being paired with another freelance professional and the two of us work together in an edit suite reporting to senior members of staff but essentially it's just the two of us for the vast majority of the day.

This job was the first time I had met this guy, usually you work with people on the circuit but I hadn't come across him before. We get in great, he's 15 years older than me but seems young in his outlook and we have enjoyed chatting and having a laugh at work.

He told me about how he met his wife online and got her pregnant on their second date and now they're married and their child is about six months old. FWIW I live with my long term partner. He would sometimes tell me how his wife and he would argue but always in a jokey tone, he probably did share too much but not just about his relationship about loads of stuff - mostly just idle chat as we worked.

This evening I have received a WhatsApp from his wife (must have taken my number from his phone) telling me to stop calling him, he's a married man and he has a child and I need to back off and stay away from her husband. I had a missed call from him yesterday evening, called back assuming a work thing and he didn't pick up. Wasn't mentioned at work today I didn't think anything of it.

What do I reply? I don't want things to be awkward at work and don't want to put my job in jeopardy by giving the impression at work we are not being professional. We are doing a good job with good feedback. Should I message my colleague and tell him?

OP posts:
BobDear · 16/06/2022 15:04

@WibblyWobblyJane

eh?

ImAvingOops · 16/06/2022 15:09

I'm a great believer in trusting instincts. But you still can't be nastily messaging other women without actual proof of wrongdoing, let alone threatening their livelihoods!

comovie · 16/06/2022 15:32

Huh? What's the point of a snarky comment? First, it doesn't matter the industry - if someone you work with or their SO is harassing you, you should report it to your boss. If things blow up, then the bosses having the story will help. And, secondly, in the freelance world (unlike traditional employees) they don't have to go through the steps to fire someone. They can just not hire that person for the next job. People get jobs in TV based on reputation - so endangering her reputation could be a career ender. (And I've worked in TV for over 20 years, and am a boss, so I know how it works - someone gets labeled "trouble" and bosses just move to the next person.) She needs to get ahead of this before the jealous wife & the spineless husband destroy her ability to make a living.

FirewomanSam · 16/06/2022 15:37

@comovie I think the snarky comment was supposed to be referencing the fact that you offered advice the OP had already taken several days ago, and the thread has moved on somewhat since then. But it’s a moot point because the thread has gone cold anyway.

Herejustforthisone · 16/06/2022 15:57

Christ people, let the thread die… she ain’t comin’ back.

Getoutofthis · 16/06/2022 17:14

I was heavily invested in this thread though.
I really want answers 😂

EvilPea · 16/06/2022 17:23

I’m guessing the manager was a mumsnetter and that’s how she knew Shock

pedropony76 · 16/06/2022 17:55

I know people say to not get too invested in threads but this has been a SERIOUS cliffhanger

girlmom21 · 16/06/2022 18:07

EvilPea · 16/06/2022 17:23

I’m guessing the manager was a mumsnetter and that’s how she knew Shock

Probably a good shout. She's probably asked OP not to post anymore about it.

Hutchy16 · 16/06/2022 19:05

Shame they didn’t ask to close the thread though

pedropony76 · 16/06/2022 19:32

EvilPea · 16/06/2022 17:23

I’m guessing the manager was a mumsnetter and that’s how she knew Shock

I’m starting to think that could actually be a possibility. Talk about keeping me hooked😂

WTF475878237NC · 16/06/2022 19:48

This guy is obviously trouble... lying to his wife about blocking people, seeking a new partner etc then trying to continue relationships without his wife knowing. The manager is either on Mumsnet or is aware of how this guy works. He's the reason his wife and OP are in this situation. Gaslighting arsehole.

OP isn't coming back though!

WibblyWobblyJane · 16/06/2022 20:54

comovie · 16/06/2022 15:32

Huh? What's the point of a snarky comment? First, it doesn't matter the industry - if someone you work with or their SO is harassing you, you should report it to your boss. If things blow up, then the bosses having the story will help. And, secondly, in the freelance world (unlike traditional employees) they don't have to go through the steps to fire someone. They can just not hire that person for the next job. People get jobs in TV based on reputation - so endangering her reputation could be a career ender. (And I've worked in TV for over 20 years, and am a boss, so I know how it works - someone gets labeled "trouble" and bosses just move to the next person.) She needs to get ahead of this before the jealous wife & the spineless husband destroy her ability to make a living.

It was a light joke pointing out that you obviously didn't read beyond the first post. OP reported the situation to her PM over the weekend.

Billlius · 16/06/2022 23:36

I want an update!

pedropony76 · 17/06/2022 01:42

@Billlius sorry you ain’t getting one!

Lanareyrey · 17/06/2022 04:23

Wish they’d close this thread now.

ThinkForAMinute · 17/06/2022 05:14

They don’t just close threads, there had to be a reason for it. Use the hide function and you will no longer see it.

Changedagain876 · 17/06/2022 07:11

I really feel like OPs should sign a contract before they post saying they won’t leave us on a cliffhanger 😂

(that’s a joke by the way)

Arnaquer · 17/06/2022 07:49

I think OPs should sign a disclaimer when they make up a whole scenario, string it out all weekend then disappear. Seen it a few times now.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 17/06/2022 10:58

We could think of our own ways this ended. And put our theories here.

ReneBumsWombats · 17/06/2022 11:11

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 17/06/2022 10:58

We could think of our own ways this ended. And put our theories here.

OP was a ghost the whole time.

OP was making up the story as she went along, taking ideas from signs on the noticeboard and coffee mugs.

OP's job is really making sledgeboards called Rosebud.

OP is a Horcrux.

payable · 17/06/2022 11:37

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 17/06/2022 10:58

We could think of our own ways this ended. And put our theories here.

Most likely the Op didn't lose her job. If she did she may have had nothing to lose returning her for advice and views.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 17/06/2022 13:32

Just make up your own ending if you're so desperate for an end to the story. That's what most OPs on here do anyway.

ItsLisaLou · 17/06/2022 13:40

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 17/06/2022 13:32

Just make up your own ending if you're so desperate for an end to the story. That's what most OPs on here do anyway.

This drama turned out to be so interesting that they ditched the TV plot and turned OP’s post into a feature film. She’s now starring in it hence too busy to reply.

drlel · 17/06/2022 13:56

Anyone been following the other post where the OP had been texting who she suspects to be the OW?? 🤔

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