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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just had a WhatsApp from my colleagues wife

714 replies

BlueMoone · 10/06/2022 22:07

I work in a freelance creative industry (TV production) where I will be contracted on a project for a finite amount of time. My current role is 16 weeks and I'm 6 weeks in. I'm self employed and very very pleased to have the contract as sometimes I go a couple of months between contracts and have to budget to make the money stretch the whole year. Being self employed I don't get holiday pay or anything like that (just demonstrating how precious the work is to me.)

My role involves being paired with another freelance professional and the two of us work together in an edit suite reporting to senior members of staff but essentially it's just the two of us for the vast majority of the day.

This job was the first time I had met this guy, usually you work with people on the circuit but I hadn't come across him before. We get in great, he's 15 years older than me but seems young in his outlook and we have enjoyed chatting and having a laugh at work.

He told me about how he met his wife online and got her pregnant on their second date and now they're married and their child is about six months old. FWIW I live with my long term partner. He would sometimes tell me how his wife and he would argue but always in a jokey tone, he probably did share too much but not just about his relationship about loads of stuff - mostly just idle chat as we worked.

This evening I have received a WhatsApp from his wife (must have taken my number from his phone) telling me to stop calling him, he's a married man and he has a child and I need to back off and stay away from her husband. I had a missed call from him yesterday evening, called back assuming a work thing and he didn't pick up. Wasn't mentioned at work today I didn't think anything of it.

What do I reply? I don't want things to be awkward at work and don't want to put my job in jeopardy by giving the impression at work we are not being professional. We are doing a good job with good feedback. Should I message my colleague and tell him?

OP posts:
sittingnexttochoppysea · 13/06/2022 16:53

This thread will be full by the time the op comes back at this rate 🙄 stop posting repeated hope it went well posts! Op knows we all want an update, if she wants to provide one at least make sure there's space!

And yes I'm well aware of the irony of me taking up a post but I was thinking it several 'hope it went well' posts ago!

Arnaquer · 13/06/2022 17:20

I don't think the OP will come back. Have a feeling it's one of those threads 🎣

Poyyu23 · 13/06/2022 17:31

How did it go??

JingsMahBucket · 13/06/2022 17:32

@sittingnexttochoppysea I know, it's annoying, especially because MN has now provided a way for people to watch a thread without having to comment. Just click the down arrow, people!

Shoezone · 13/06/2022 18:10

Arnaquer · 13/06/2022 17:20

I don't think the OP will come back. Have a feeling it's one of those threads 🎣

In what way?

Rewis · 13/06/2022 18:18

Arnaquer · 13/06/2022 17:20

I don't think the OP will come back. Have a feeling it's one of those threads 🎣

Or alternatively they are still at work and updating mumsnet while working /dealing with everything is not a priority?

Whatever00 · 13/06/2022 18:39

Thinking of you today OP.

niugboo · 13/06/2022 19:00

I would actually report her to the police. She is clearly unhinged. And he probably has form.

niugboo · 13/06/2022 19:01

I would actually report her to the police. She is clearly unhinged. And he probably has form.

niugboo · 13/06/2022 19:02

Report her to the police.

JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue · 13/06/2022 19:03

OP I wonder if the wife is trying to set you up by sending a friend request fro her DH account or something.

bekindbewise · 13/06/2022 19:09

JimmyShoo · 10/06/2022 22:16

I don’t think this was meant for me, I am your husband’s colleague and our relationship is a professional one only.

This is perfect. And would put the poor wife at ease (at least with regards your intentions/working relationship).

DamnUserName21 · 13/06/2022 19:12

Following.
As PPs, hope today went well.

Inklingpot · 13/06/2022 19:15

Just bloody bookmark and watch the thread!

DamnUserName21 · 13/06/2022 19:19

Inklingpot · 13/06/2022 19:15

Just bloody bookmark and watch the thread!

Is this directed at my comment?

Inklingpot · 13/06/2022 19:19

Look! You need never post ‘following’ or ‘F’ or ‘placemarking’ ever again!

Just had a WhatsApp from my colleagues wife
Kately · 13/06/2022 19:21

Inklingpot · 13/06/2022 19:19

Look! You need never post ‘following’ or ‘F’ or ‘placemarking’ ever again!

👏

DamnUserName21 · 13/06/2022 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

saraclara · 13/06/2022 19:23

Inklingpot · 13/06/2022 19:19

Look! You need never post ‘following’ or ‘F’ or ‘placemarking’ ever again!

I think I love you @Inklingpot ! Though you know that no-one's going to read that don't you? We could be going for a record number of pointless placemarking posts on this thread.

Luredbyapomegranate · 13/06/2022 19:26

@BlueMoone How did it go?

justasking111 · 13/06/2022 20:01

I'm wondering if it's a bit outing so OP has to be circumspect especially if it's escalating

WiddlinDiddlin · 13/06/2022 20:12

Fingers x it's all sorted out now OP.

Not sure why some find the FB friend request so very odd though.. either the wife is still digging or the OP's colleague tried that as a route to speak to the OP.

Neither of those possibilities is wildly odd or mysterious!

GoldenSongbird · 13/06/2022 20:33

The only information the wife has about you, came from him. Be very wary of him. The best outcome would be if you didn't work with him again. He's trouble. Don't get sucked into badmouthing his wife. Just reiterate that there seems to an issue for him and his family, and you're happy to facilitate resolving it in the best way possible which probably means you don't work together again. Are you in a union? If so, you could have a preliminary chat with them too.

isthismylifenow · 13/06/2022 20:42

I hope it went OK today OP.

I had something similar happened, got a vague message from a work colleague late one night over a weekend. I responsed as I thought something was wrong. Turned out to be his wife who had taken his phone. He is a bit of a lad and I think she was fishing to see if there was something going on between us. Of course there wasn't and I told her so. But it really did affect the dynamic at work sadly. But I was very upset about it as I was being accused of the very thing I hate.

comfortablyfrumpy · 13/06/2022 21:04

I hope today went OK.
That's really odd with the friend request, a screenshot would be sensible but I'm sure loads of people have suggested that.

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